Kermit Krab

Kermit Krab - 3 K



Part 1:  Birth

Few people know it, but Kermit Krab's birth preceded the development of the Peep meme by several days.  Actually, it's a very close call.  The actual word "peep" had been bandied around a bit for a few days, but it didn't develop into a true meme until just after the birth of Kermit Krab.

In my mind, they go together.  Peeping certainly had a more successful life than Kermit Krab did, however.  In fact, Kermit was killed not too long after he was born.  It tooks months for him to klaw his way out of the grave...and even now he appears only rarely, though each appearance is usually remarkable for one reason or another.

Kermit Krab's life, death, and rebirth are dealt with elsewhere.
This page chronicles the posts which brought him to life.


It started, as so many things do, as part of a flame war in the SF.TV groups. Actually, "war" is inappropriate, it was more of a scuffle, actually. Along the way, various subjects came up: masturbation, cigars, hamster-stuffing...you know, the usual fare.  Oh, and a couple of limericks. (Hmmm.  Maybe I'll put up a page of my limericks someday.)

Bobby Holland got tired of the limericks, and said so.   So TheWitch made a suggestion:


Subject:    Re: To R. Holland, F. Thaxton, H. Bosch, T. Fuller: 
              "The Deconstruction , of Falling Stars."
From:       thewitch@cybernothing.org (TheWitch@Endor.com)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv,rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.tv.babylon-5
Date:       11 Nov 1997
Message-ID: <879225592.326096@unagi.cybernothing.org>

Robert Holland wrote:
: Captain Infinity wrote:
: > 
: [stuff snipped]
: 
: If we're to keep this thread running forever, we'll
: have to clean up the content!
: 
: No more limericks about hamsters or golfers!

What about hermit crabs?

-- 
TheWitch (I have no limericks, I was just curious)

"If you love a newsgroup, let it go.  
If it comes back to haunt you, it is
yours.  If it doesn't, it never was."

             - Jaime M. de Castellvi


"What about hermit crabs?"
Who would've thunk such a simple question could...well, you'll see.

From:       openbook@sirius.NOSPAM.com (Blackhawk)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv,rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.tv.babylon-5
Date:       Wed, 12 Nov 1997
Message-ID: <openbook-1211970059490001@ppp-asft02--044.sirius.net>

In article <879225592.326096@unagi.cybernothing.org>,
TheWitch wrote:

>Robert Holland wrote:
>: Captain Infinity wrote:
>: > 
>: [stuff snipped]
>: 
>: If we're to keep this thread running forever, we'll
>: have to clean up the content!
>: 
>: No more limericks about hamsters or golfers!
>
>What about hermit crabs?
>
>-- 
>TheWitch (I have no limericks, I was just curious)
>


Well since you asked:

On a rock by a small hermit crab
came a swaggering sailor named Ahab.
Commanded by Captain Infinity,
to write limericks through all of eternity.
Most people thought he was quite mad.

**
Hawkaa!
Blackhawk
"He was a bold man who first ate an oyster" - Jonathan Swift


From:       Innfinit@ix.netcom.SPAMBLOCK.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv,rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.tv.babylon-5
Date:       Wed, 12 Nov 1997
Message-ID: <346ae0db.3854390@nntp.netcruiser>

In article <openbook-1211970059490001@ppp-asft02--044.sirius.net>
Blackhawk wrote :

>In article <879225592.326096@unagi.cybernothing.org>,
>TheWitch wrote:
>
>>Robert Holland wrote:
>>: Captain Infinity wrote:
>>: > 
>>: [stuff snipped]
>>: 
>>: If we're to keep this thread running forever, we'll
>>: have to clean up the content!
>>: 
>>: No more limericks about hamsters or golfers!
>>
>>What about hermit crabs?
>>
>>-- 
>>TheWitch (I have no limericks, I was just curious)
>>
>
>
>Well since you asked:
>
>On a rock by a small hermit crab
>came a swaggering sailor named Ahab.
>Commanded by Captain Infinity,
>to write limericks through all of eternity.
>Most people thought he was quite mad.
>

Hmmm.  Ok, my turn...we're on a theme about "crabs", yes?

What rhymes with "Blackhawk"?

Hmmmmm....

** 
Captain Infinity
 ...'nuff said?  I sure hope so.


From:       Robert Holland <rholland@SPAMMOwco.com>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv,rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.tv.babylon-5
Date:       Wed, 12 Nov 1997
Message-ID: <346A0B7E.232E@SPAMMOwco.com>

TheWitch wrote:
> 
> Robert Holland wrote:
> : Captain Infinity wrote:
> : >
> : [stuff snipped]
> :
> : If we're to keep this thread running forever, we'll
> : have to clean up the content!
> :
> : No more limericks about hamsters or golfers!
> 
> What about hermit crabs?

Hermit crabs need to get out more often, attend a mixer
now and then. Rejoin society.

Hermits with crabs need to visit the health clinic.

Crabby hermits should see a shrink.

--RH


From:       thewitch@cybernothing.org (TheWitch@Endor.com)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv,rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.tv.babylon-5
Date:       14 Nov 1997
Message-ID: <879541543.407041@unagi.cybernothing.org>

Robert Holland wrote:
: TheWitch wrote:
: > 
: > Robert Holland wrote:
: > : Captain Infinity wrote:
: > : >
: > : [stuff snipped]
: > :
: > : If we're to keep this thread running forever, we'll
: > : have to clean up the content!
: > :
: > : No more limericks about hamsters or golfers!
: > 
: > What about hermit crabs?
: 
: Hermit crabs need to get out more often, attend a mixer
: now and then.

Will they be spiced or merely steamed?

:  Rejoin society.

Preferrably in a nice cocktail sauce.

: Hermits with crabs need to visit the health clinic.
: 
: Crabby hermits should see a shrink.

But these last two could be why they shun society in the first place, no?

-- 
TheWitch

"If you love a newsgroup, let it go.  
If it comes back to haunt you, it is
yours.  If it doesn't, it never was."

             - Jaime M. de Castellvi


From:       Innfinit@ix.netcom.SPAMBLOCK.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv,rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.tv.babylon-5
Date:       Fri, 14 Nov 1997
Message-ID: <346cd247.16914219@nntp.netcruiser>

In article <879541543.407041@unagi.cybernothing.org>
TheWitch wrote :

>Robert Holland wrote:
>: TheWitch wrote:

>: Hermits with crabs need to visit the health clinic.
>: 
>: Crabby hermits should see a shrink.
>
>But these last two could be why they shun society in the first place, no?

I partially agree.  The second case, "Crabby Hermits", is almost a
redundancy, so you're probably correct.

The first case, "Hermits with crabs" is an interesting situation.  I
would suggest that in addition to visiting a health clinic, they
should also bring their 'significant other' to the vet for a checkup.

** 
Captain Infinity
 ..."I think they should build a big shoe
     and jump up and down on them."  --Crow, re: Phase IV


From:       thewitch@cybernothing.org (TheWitch@Endor.com)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv,rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.tv.babylon-5
Date:       15 Nov 1997
Message-ID: <879567218.92972@unagi.cybernothing.org>

Captain Infinity wrote:
: In article <879541543.407041@unagi.cybernothing.org>
: TheWitch wrote :
: 
: >Robert Holland wrote:
: >: TheWitch wrote:
: 
: >: Hermits with crabs need to visit the health clinic.
: >: 
: >: Crabby hermits should see a shrink.
: >
: >But these last two could be why they shun society in the first place, no?
: 
: I partially agree.  The second case, "Crabby Hermits", is almost a
: redundancy, so you're probably correct.

Hey I'm practically a hermit and only crabby on occasion.  But that's
usually when I have to go out and mingle with the great unwashed.  So I'm
slightly miffed at the assumptiong that hermits must be crabby.

: The first case, "Hermits with crabs" is an interesting situation.  I
: would suggest that in addition to visiting a health clinic, they
: should also bring their 'significant other' to the vet for a checkup.

I have nothing to say except, Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww!

-- 
TheWitch

"If you love a newsgroup, let it go.  
If it comes back to haunt you, it is
yours.  If it doesn't, it never was."

             - Jaime M. de Castellvi


From:       3cjmd@qlink.queensu.ca (De Castellvi Jaime M)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv,rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.tv.babylon-5
Date:       18 Nov 1997
Message-ID: <64s550$fkb@knot.queensu.ca>


Captain Infleanitty wrote:

: The first case, "Hermits with crabs" is an interesting situation.  I
: would suggest that in addition to visiting a health clinic, they
: should also bring their 'significant other' to the vet for a checkup.

My Alma Mater is rumoured to be considering making this mandatory for all 
our male engineering undergrads, who tend to be distinguished by the twin
traits of an IQ over 180 and an odd preference for exotic sheep.

I don't know if it would be suitable to refer to them as "hermits",
however, unless it'd be of the Clark Hall Pub variety.  I know they all or
most use "kermit" to connect to the internet, so you could perhaps more
accurately refer to them as "kermits with crabs".  But perhaps this is
just another of those insidious sterotype thingies we artsci types coin to
refer to our most technologically-wired brethren.

Cheers,

Jaime (hoping we've got a few kweenz plumbers lurking around, so this
thread could get even more interesting...)

-- 
 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
 /  Jaime M. de Castellvi          ^ No lesson is truly learned       \
 /  3cjmd@qlink.queensu.ca         ^ which is not truly suffered...   \
 /  http://qlink.queensu.ca/~3cjmd ^ Flag a spammie for mommy, today! \
 /\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\^//////////////////////////////////\
 /  J. Potts, on reconciling loving animals and being a carnivore:    \
 /      "I reconcile it quite easily.  You can be compassionate       \
 /      to an animal and still eat it..."  (24 Aug 97)                \
 <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<


From:       openbook@sirius.NOSPAM.com (Blackhawk)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv,rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.tv.babylon-5
Date:       Tue, 18 Nov 1997
Message-ID: <openbook-1811970925080001@ppp-asft08--225.sirius.net>

In article <64s550$fkb@knot.queensu.ca>, 
De Castellvi Jaime M wrote:

> Captain Infleanitty wrote:
> 
> : The first case, "Hermits with crabs" is an interesting situation.  I
> : would suggest that in addition to visiting a health clinic, they
> : should also bring their 'significant other' to the vet for a checkup.
> 
> My Alma Mater is rumoured to be considering making this mandatory for all 
> our male engineering undergrads, who tend to be distinguished by the twin
> traits of an IQ over 180 and an odd preference for exotic sheep.
> 
> I don't know if it would be suitable to refer to them as "hermits",
> however, unless it'd be of the Clark Hall Pub variety.  I know they all or
> most use "kermit" to connect to the internet, so you could perhaps more
> accurately refer to them as "kermits with crabs".  But perhaps this is
> just another of those insidious sterot/|\ype thingies we artsci types coin to
> refer to our most technologically-wired|brethren.         /|\    /|\
>                                        |                   |      |
> Cheers,                                |                   |------`
>                                        |                   |
> Jaime                                  |                   |
                                         |                   |
"It ain't easy being clean"              |                   |
         - Kermit the crab<--------------`                   |
                                                             |
                                                             |
**                                                           |
Blackhawk<---------------------------------------------------`
ascii artsci type


From:       Innfinit@ix.netcom.SPAMBLOCK.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv,rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.tv.babylon-5
Date:       Tue, 18 Nov 1997
Message-ID: <34741394.27029919@nntp.netcruiser>

In article <openbook-1811970925080001@ppp-asft08--225.sirius.net>
Blackhawk wrote :

>In article <64s550$fkb@knot.queensu.ca>, 
>De Castellvi Jaime M wrote:
>
>> Captain Infleanitty wrote:
>> 
>> : The first case, "Hermits with crabs" is an interesting situation.  I
>> : would suggest that in addition to visiting a health clinic, they
>> : should also bring their 'significant other' to the vet for a checkup.
>> 
>> My Alma Mater is rumoured to be considering making this mandatory for all 
>> our male engineering undergrads, who tend to be distinguished by the twin
>> traits of an IQ over 180 and an odd preference for exotic sheep.
>> 
>> I don't know if it would be suitable to refer to them as "hermits",
>> however, unless it'd be of the Clark Hall Pub variety.  I know they all or
>> most use "kermit" to connect to the internet, so you could perhaps more
>> accurately refer to them as "kermits with crabs".  But perhaps this is
>> just another of those insidious sterot/|\ype thingies we artsci types coin to
>> refer to our most technologically-wired|brethren.         /|\    /|\
>>                                        |                   |      |
>> Cheers,                                |                   |------`
>>                                        |                   |
>> Jaime                                  |                   |
>                                         |                   |
>"It ain't easy being clean"              |                   |
>         - Kermit the crab<--------------`                   |
>                                                             |
>                                                             |
>**                                                           |
>Blackhawk<---------------------------------------------------`
>ascii artsci type

                      ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
        (+)(+)        | I find "quarks" to be the loveliest |
         |  |   ,-----| particles that exist, on any of the |
       /      \       | infinite dimensional planes that we |
  ()   \ -==- /   ()  |       will ever see or know.        |
   \    \    /    /    `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
    \  <\/\/\/>  /
     '-/      \-'
    --/        \--
   /--|        |-- \
  / /--\      /-- \ \
 ()/ /--`----'-- \ \()
  ()/             \()
   ()             ()  --C.I

** 
Captain Infinity

And there he is.  As yet unfinished, as it turns out...notice that he only has four awkward sets of claws (crabs have five) and is missing some kneecaps.  But these things will emerge as he grows.  His penchant for spouting pithy sayings inside a word balloon will continue throughout his life...which, as it turns out, would not last very long.

Please venture on to Kermit Krab: Life and Death to follow his adventures, and witness his untimely demise.


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