Kermit Krab

Kermit Krab - 3 K



Resurrection?

   Kermit Krab was dead.
His absence filled the AFT-S Irregulars with the creamy filling of Sadness,
and though we tried to laugh and joke our way back to the the iced frosting of Happiness,
there were empty places in our souls which not even the Bunny Sidecars on our Anti-Voyager Zombies could fill.
Excuse me, I haven't had lunch yet.

So, we tried to bring him back to life.


The Contest

Subject:    NEW CONTEST !! (was Re: Fermat's last theorem -- 
            was: - Re: Star Trek and Southern Ba)
From:       Captain Infinity
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Wed, 10 Dec 1997
Message-ID: <349902f0.28304795@nntp.netcruiser>

In article <abergman-0912971750020001@net40-31.student.yale.edu>
abergman@pantheon.yale.edu (Aaron Bergman) wrote :

>In article <Pine.SOL.3.96.971209122555.3415A-100000@titan.cc.wwu.edu>,
>Matthew Murray wrote:
>
>:        For those of us who have been out of the loop for a while, would
>:you please remind us exactly what Reimann's Conjecture is?  (I used to
>:know it, but it's been a while.)
>
>Well, there this neat thing called the Riemann Zeta function. For real
>numbers greater than 1, it can be defined by
>      oo
>     ---
>     \    1 
>z(k)= >  ---
>     /   k^x
>     ---
>     k=1
>
>You can analytically continue this funciton to the entire complex plane.
>The Riemann hypothesis states that all the nontrivial zeros have imaginary
>part equal to 1/2. 
>
>:        Also, I think that one thing about Fermat's last theorem is that,
>:despite what you may think about it, the attempts to solve it have created
>:new branches of mathematics themselves, and, if nothing else, it should be
>:considered important for that reason.
>
>I'm not really sure that's true. Entire branches of mathematics were used
>to solve it, but I'm almost positive elliptic curves and modular forms
>were developed independently of Fermat's Last Theorem.
>
>Aaron


OKAY KIDS, IT'S TIME FOR A NEW CONTEST!

Like the last contest, the Grand Prize of this contest is
	 A WEEK IN TRENTON NEW JERSEY!!  ALL EXPENSES PAID!!

(Second prize is two weeks.)

Here's the contest:

See what kind of clever ASCII image you can create incorporating the
following into your design:

                     oo
                    ---
                    \    1 
               z(k)= >  ---
                    /   k^x
                    ---
                    k=1

Bonus points awarded if you are able to resurrect Kermit Krab!

Special notice should made of the Infinity symbol at the top.  I'm sure
this means something important, but I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS!!!

All entries should be postmarked by 12-31-1997 and include the UPC symbol
from the box which held your version of the Internet.  NO UPC SYMBOLS FROM
BOXES HOLDING HAPPYNET ARE ALLOWED!  THERE AIN'T NO KIBOLOGY GOING ON HERE!

Photocopies are acceptable, as long as they are printed on blue paper in
red ink.  I love that jazzy day-glo shimmering effect, even if it does give
me a headache.
	
Ready?  setGO!!

** 
Captain Infinity
 ...members of my immediate family are ineligible to participate, because
they'd have me locked up if they knew I wasted time on this type of stuff.


From:       Blackhawk
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Tue, 09 Dec 1997
Message-ID: <openbook-0912972241260001@ppp-asft05--151.sirius.net>

                           ,--------------,
               o           |     Do I     |
         o__  /   ,--------|     win a    |
            \/   /         |     Prize?   |
           /oo\            `--------------'
    z      ----    1
     z     \\//  1 
     zz(k)=|><|-----
     z     /  \ k^x
    z     |----|    x
           \k=1/
           k   1
        kkk     111  

Kermit the Riemann Zeta function Krab


**
Blackhawk
It aint easy being a function.


From:       heck
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Wed, 10 Dec 1997
Message-ID: <348fd958.8370109@news.erols.com>

On Tue, 09 Dec 1997 22:41:25 -0700, Blackhawk wrote:
 
>
>
>
>                           ,--------------,
>               o           |     Do I     |
>         o__  /   ,--------|     win a    |
>            \/   /         |     Prize?   |
>           /oo\            `--------------'
>    z      ----    1
>     z     \\//  1 
>     zz(k)=|><|-----
>     z     /  \ k^x
>    z     |----|    x
>           \k=1/
>           k   1
>        kkk     111  
>
>Kermit the Riemann Zeta function Krab
>
>
>**
>Blackhawk
>It aint easy being a function.

Kermat


From:       Captain Infinity
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Wed, 10 Dec 1997
Message-ID: <34a0f348.8678095@nntp.netcruiser>

In article <348fd958.8370109@news.erols.com>
heck wrote:

>On Tue, 09 Dec 1997 22:41:25 -0700, Blackhawk wrote:
>
>>
>>
>>
>>                           ,--------------,
>>               o           |     Do I     |
>>         o__  /   ,--------|     win a    |
>>            \/   /         |     Prize?   |
>>           /oo\            `--------------'
>>    z      ----    1
>>     z     \\//  1 
>>     zz(k)=|><|-----
>>     z     /  \ k^x
>>    z     |----|    x
>>           \k=1/
>>           k   1
>>        kkk     111  
>>
>>Kermit the Riemann Zeta function Krab
>>
>>
>>**
>>Blackhawk
>>It aint easy being a function.
>
>Kermat

Kermat's Krab Theorem

** 
Captain Infinity


The Results of The Contest

Subject:    Re: Fourth Prize is a Dancing Squirrel
From:       Captain Infinity
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Fri, 12 Dec 1997
Message-ID: <34933d64.1319523@nntp.netcruiser>

On Thu, 11 Dec 1997 20:08:10 -0700, Blackhawk wrote:

>In article <349290a3.3760437@nntp.netcruiser>,
>Captain Infinity wrote:
>
>(LOL - snip)
>> 
>> Then I'd win $10,000 prize, and invite you all to Boston, where we would go
>> the restaurant at the top of the Ritz and order Peep Flambé, Cream of Peep
>> Soup, and Anti-Voyager Zombies.  Then we'd all go to the pond at the center
>> of Boston Commons and ride the Swan Boats, and peep at all the tourists.
>> Then we'd go the the harbor and take the tour of the Tea Party Boat, and
>> when the tourists start throwing the mock crates of tea overboard, we'd
>> throw peeps into the harbor instead, and place bets on whose would sink
>> last, and get thrown off the boat for causing a public disturbance.  Then
>> we'd go down to the Atlantic Avenue fishing docks and we'd ask the
>> fishermen if they have crabs.  If they said yes, we'd offer them an a
>> lighter and an icepick.
>> 
>> And we'd videotape it all, and win next year's prize, too!
>> 
>> ** 
>> Captain Infinity
>
>
>But what about my week in New Jersey?
>

Well, sorry Blackhawk but first prize went to Sweet Poly, in the
"Neuromancer" thread, for this diagram of the DNA of a hairball 
coughed up by a Cattail Peepivore:

>
>   T---A
>   C---G           Sweet Poly
>    A-T
>     C             "We wouldn't do much if we didn't do things that 
>    T-A             nobody ever heard of before."
>   C---G				-- Laura Ingalls Wilder
>   C---G


In article <3492d1fe.994013@news.erols.com>
heck wrote :
>
>Second prize.

Second prize went to MQS, for her description of the
outraged-yet-still-pitiful sound emitting from said hairball:

>  o>  o>  o>       o>  o>  o>     o>  o>  o>     o>  o>  o>       <o
>(`~)(`~)(`~)     (`~)(`~)(`~)   (`~)(`~)(`~)   (`~)(`~)(`~)       (~')
>  o>        o>     o>             o>             o>        o>     <o
>(`~)      (`~)   (`~)           (`~)           (`~)      (`~)     (~')
>  o>        o>     o>             o>             o>        o>     <o
>(`~)      (`~)   (`~)           (`~)           (`~)      (`~)     (~')
>  o>  o>  o>       o>  o>  o>     o>  o>  o>     o>  o>  o>       <o
>(`~)(`~)(`~)     (`~)(`~)(`~)   (`~)(`~)(`~)   (`~)(`~)(`~)       (~')
>  o>               o>             o>             o>               <o
>(`~)             (`~)           (`~)           (`~)               (~')
>  o>               o>             o>             o>
>(`~)             (`~)           (`~)           (`~)               <o   
>  o>               o>  o>  o>     o>  o>  o>     o>               (~') 
>(`~)             (`~)(`~)(`~)   (`~)(`~)(`~)   (`~)               *mqs


>Third prize, of course, is three weeks.

Blackhawk does, indeed, get THIRD PRIZE for his entry:

>                           ,--------------,
>               o           |     Do I     |
>         o__  /   ,--------|     win a    |
>            \/   /         |     Prize?   |
>           /oo\            `--------------'
>    z      ----    1
>     z     \\//  1 
>     zz(k)=|><|-----
>     z     /  \ k^x
>    z     |----|    x
>           \k=1/
>           k   1
>        kkk     111  
>
>Kermit the Riemann Zeta function Krab

Third Prize:  you must immediately move to Trenton, New Jersey, and take up
permanent residence.  You are responsible for all expenses and taxes.  When
you get there, send me your new address and I will send you a LIMITED
SERIES COLLECTOR'S ITEM BUGS BUNNY POSTCARD (only 10,000,000 made!) with
YOUR OWN NAME written in INK on the RIGHT HAND SIDE of the BACK OF THE CARD
and an actual MESSAGE FROM CAPTAIN INFINITY written in CRAYON on the LEFT
HAND SIDE of the BACK OF THE CARD.  Truly a UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL ITEM THING!

>I won nothing, I live there.

Ah, but if the guards ever untie you from the bed, you may be able to
escape and move to Cherry Hill!  There is always Hope!  She's living in the
cell next to you, chewing her toenails off and dreaming about moving to an
outhouse in Vermont and raising adopted Korean children with Elvis Presley.

I have to go now.  The half-empty bottle of Dr. Pepper on the floor beside
my PC tower has a loose cap, and the carbonation sounds are speaking to me.
I have to find a squirrel, staple him to the lower left corner of my
monitor, and make him dance whenever I'm reading a serious message.

** 
Captain Infinity
 ...or is that "half-full" ?


Blackhawk has yet to move to Trenton to claim his prize.


Kermit the Riemann Zeta function Krab was cute, there's no denying that.
But it just wasn't the same.  Days of mourning and Weeks of partying flew by...with little hope that our beloved Kermit Krab would return to us.

But then...a glimmer of hope appeared on the horizon!  Another beloved fictional character died, and his soul seemed to have migrated.
For more information, see the Chris Farley Connection
(Or skip all this silliness, and go straight to Kermit Krab: Rebirth)


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