Kermit Krab

Kermit Krab - 3 K



The Chris Farley Connection

   Kermit Krab was still dead, in spite of valiant attempts to resurrect him.
But a New Hope loomed on the horizon when another beloved fictional character,
Chris Farley, passed on in a manner eerily similar to Kermit's death.

This page chronicles the events of those days, when a faint glimmer of light still shone in our hearts.
(Or should that be "shined"?).


Subject:    Announcement:  This Weekend's Wake.
From:       Captain Infinity
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Sat, 20 Dec 1997
Message-ID: <34a107df.24287757@nntp.netcruiser>

Since the Resurrectionists have, as yet, been unable to revive Kermit
Krab in time for him to be killed again in time for this weekend's
wake, the wake this weekend will be held for Chris Farley, instead.

He and I almost exchanged email once in which he would have told me
that he had been an active lurker in alt.fan.tom-servo since the late
sixties.  No one ever successfully trolled him, not even jdn, though
many may have tried had they known he would be leaving us so soon.

This weekend's wake will be held on Undernet channel
#ChrisFarleyIsDead?WhoHasTheGrenadine?

Also, since so many have asked, next weekend's wake of Jim Carrey
*will* go on as planned even if the hit is unsuccessful, but it will
be rescheduled if Kermit comes back to life.

Thank you for your time.

** 
Captain Infinity


Subject:    Re: uhh, things i have found on the net
From:       Captain Infinity
Newsgroups: alt.fan.hello-kitty,alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.fan.groups-with-hyphenated-names
Date:       Wed, 24 Dec 1997
Message-ID: <34a224d4.651926@nntp.netcruiser>

In alt.fan.tom-servo
In article <67qd79$lui$7@nntp-3.io.com>
The Philosopher from Hell wrote:

>Hey! This is alt.fan.hello-kitty, not alt.sex.hello-kitty
>but we are always looking for new recruits. Read the ASH-K FAQ,
>and get yourself a board with a nail in it (to beat the spammers
>with) and come join the FUN! Which feline do YOU think will
>have supreme control over the Universe?

What?  You must be joking!

This is alt.fan.tom-servo, where we talk about anything other than Tom
Servo (neither the real one--the M*d N*wgr**per--nor the phony
one--the G*mb*ll M*ch*n*).  We're always looking for new inmates.
Read the AFT-S FQA and get yourself a box of telepathic yellow Peeps
(avoid the Evil Purple Bunnies) and come and help spread the madness.
LOOK!  Kermit Krab has been filled with the spirit of the departed
(and beloved) Chris Farley, and has rejoined us!  A round of
Anti-Voyager Zombies for everyone, on the house!
Oh frabjous day!
Callooh! Callay!

 Kermit Krab sez:
                      ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
        (+)(+)        |  Join the madness in  |
         |  |   ,-----|  alt.fan.tom-servo !  |
       /      \       |        *peep*         |
 (  )  \ -==- /  (  ) `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
   \    \    /    /
    \  <\/\/\/>  /
     '-/      \-'
   ,--/        \--
  / --|        |-- \
 / / --\      /-- \ \
()/ / --`----'-- \ \()
 ()/ /          \ \()
  ()/            \()
   ()            ()   C.I.

** 
Captain Infinity
 ...chortling in my joy


Subject:    Re: uhh, things i have found on the net
From:       Captain Infinity
Newsgroups: alt.fan.hello-kitty,alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.collecting.gumball-machines
Date:       Sat, 03 Jan 1998
Message-ID: <34b2a615.18476937@nntp.netcruiser>

In alt.fan.hello-kitty
In article <67vfl2$5u$9@nntp-2.io.com>
The Philosopher from Hell wrote:

>The Usenet Cabal (there is no cabal) would like you to believe that on
>Wed, 24 Dec 1997 15:16:09 GMT, Captain Infinity posted an article to 
>alt.fan.hello-kitty saying:
>@ In alt.fan.tom-servo
>@ In article <67qd79$lui$7@nntp-3.io.com>
>@ The Philosopher from Hell wrote:
>
>@ This is alt.fan.tom-servo, where we talk about anything other than Tom
>@ Servo (neither the real one--the M*d N*wgr**per--nor the phony
>@ one--the G*mb*ll M*ch*n*).  We're always looking for new inmates.
>@ Read the AFT-S FQA and get yourself a box of telepathic yellow Peeps
>@ (avoid the Evil Purple Bunnies) and come and help spread the madness.
>@ LOOK!  Kermit Krab has been filled with the spirit of the departed
>@ (and beloved) Chris Farley, and has rejoined us!  A round of
>@ Anti-Voyager Zombies for everyone, on the house!
>@ Oh frabjous day!
>@ Callooh! Callay!
>
>Anti-Voyager????
>Yay!!!!!
>
>@  Kermit Krab sez:
>@                       ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
>@         (+)(+)        |  Join the madness in  |
>@          |  |   ,-----|  alt.fan.tom-servo !  |
>@        /      \       |        *peep*         |
>@  (  )  \ -==- /  (  ) `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
>@    \    \    /    /
>@     \  <\/\/\/>  /
>@      '-/      \-'
>@    ,--/        \--
>@   / --|        |-- \
>@  / / --\      /-- \ \
>@ ()/ / --`----'-- \ \()
>@  ()/ /          \ \()
>@   ()/            \()
>@    ()            ()   C.I.
>
>ooooooo! Frogs!
>I think that Froggy likes frogs!

Frogs?  Where?

Kermit Krab is a Krab.

He's stuffed with marshmallow and grenadine, and topped with pudding.

** 
Captain Infinity
 ...I mean, isn't it *obvious* ?


But Chris Farley's spirit moved on to, we hope, a better place...and Kermit Krab resumed being dead.

Still he was much in our hearts and thoughts, and we mentioned him often.  Here are a couple:


Subject:    Re: lobster scream
From:       Captain Infinity
Newsgroups: rec.food.cooking,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Wed, 21 Jan 1998
Message-ID: <34c8f79e.4219861@nntp.netcruiser>

In rec.food.cooking
In article <34C41A77.2A9A@earthlink.net>
maryf wrote:

>Donovan Ready wrote:
>> 
>> PENMART10 wrote:
>> >
>> > In article <slolar-1601981836110001@pool-207-205-187-83.clev.grid.net>,
>> > Sara A. Lolar writes:
>> >
>> > >>> They don't scream.
>> >
>> > That's very true, lobsters do not have vocal chords.
>> > I don't think lobsters have lips either. :-O
>> >
>> > Sheldon
>> 
>> But clams have LEGS!
>> 
>
>No, No, the razor clams only have ONE leg.

Then how do they peddle their bicycles?

** 
Captain Infinity
 ...inventor of Kermit Krab Rangoon, recipe to be posted soon


Subject:    Re: OUTER LIMITS ep dealing with parallel universes
From:       Captain Infinity
Newsgroups: alt.tv.sliders,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Sun, 26 Apr 1998 01:00:25 GMT
Message-ID: <355983f0.38156278@news-f.std.com>

In alt.tv.sliders
In article <C4B6A4DECC70D11184D30060081D59DB024F1143@CERES>
James Boe wrote:

>     No more silly disclaimers.  However, the address in the
>     From field is to an account which directs all mail right
>     to /dev/null.  It is included to misdirect spam.  My actual
>     e-mail address (should anyone REALLY want to contact me)
>     is:
>            +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
>            |j|a|m|e|s|.|b|o|e|@|u|s|a|.|n|e|t|
>            +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Damn, my email program only has one line for the To: address.  
Where can I shove all those plus symbols?

Hey, waitaminnit...aren't you the guy who killed Kermit Krab?  
I don't want to write to you anyway, you MURDERER!

>I realize that this is slightly off-topic but there have been
>posts here before about programs, movies, books, etc. which
>deal with parallel universes so I figure that this is appro-
>priate.  The station that carries Fox for our area (KDVR out
>of Denver, Colorado) runs OUTER LIMITS at 9 pm.  Last night,
>Friday, April 24, the episode was titled "In Another Life" and
>dealt with a man who invented the quantum mirror, a device which
>allowed him to extract his alternate selves from their respec-
>tive parallel universes.

Sounds like whacky fun!  
Do they do the old "Tortoise Beats Hare" trick?  "Yo, speedy!  Over here!"  
Does one of them drool and say "She touched Mr. Peppy!"?

What's a "quantum mirror"?  If I look into it, will I see Sam Becket? 

>For those who are interested in such things, I recommend it
>if you can find it.

And it's easy to find; move to Colorado and travel into the past.  
But not too far, or you may wind up as a Donner Dinner.

                                                                        **
                                                          ytinifnI niatpaC


Subject:    Re: The Dearth of Mystic Pizza
From:       Blackhawk
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.infinity
Date:       Sun, 24 May 1998
Message-ID: <openbook-2405981232370001@ppp-asft06--165.sirius.net>

In article <6k9anv$e9u$1@nnrp1.dejanews.com>, Jaime wrote:

> <*most soulfully*>
> 
> 
> AUM!
> 
> AUMM!!
> 
> AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!
> 
> 
> <*plonk*>
> 
> <click>
> 
> <click>
> 
> 
> 
> &%$#@!
> 

LOL!

You forgot "<Peep>"

AAAAUUOOOMMMMMOOONNNEEYYPAAADMEEHHOOOMMEE!

**
Blackhawk KPS SITI
looking for tibby the turtle and raising kermit from the dead


And now, the moment you've been waiting for:  Kermit Krab:  Rebirth


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