Kermit Krab

Kermit Krab - 3 K



Rebirth

The spirit of Chris Farley was not strong enough to reanimate Kermit Krab for more than a few days.
The last we saw of the Farley-filled Kermit was in early January 1998, when he invited Froggy to join alt.fan.tom-servo.
After that, Kermit remained but a memory, occasionally mentioned, sometimes feted.
It seemed that he was lost to us, forever.


But late in May, 1998, an unusual series of events, unnoticed by many at first, began to occur.


Subject:    Re: "Captain Infinity Must Die!": A Play in 1 1/2 acts
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.religion.kibology
Date:       Mon, 25 May 1998
Message-ID: <3571bced.10419921@news-f.std.com>

In article <3569C237.7B02@tyler.net>
WWS wrote:

>Infinity, you NetBastard(tm) (I've got references), you beat me out
>of my part!  I wanted to be Riff-Raff!  I always wanted to be Riff-Raff!
>What, do you think this is all about you?

OK, you can be Riff-Raff, but then I get to be Simon Bar Sinister.

Blackhawk will be Cad.  Rhianna will be Sweet Polly Purebred.  
Jaime can be Tennessee Tuxedo and Kibo will be Mr. Whoopee.
Two-Face will be Sherman and Gharlane will be Mr. Peabody.
Karlo Takki will be a thug who says "OK, Boss."  

Lisa Pea will be the viewer who pours a STEAMING BOWL OF KILLER KLOWN VOMIT
into the back of the TV, blowing it up, ending our fictional existences.

           (+)(+)

** 
Captain Infinity
 ...it's "peeps" dammit!  <---obligatory B5 reference to make this on-topic


 
Subject:    Re: Trying to explain the T. Fuller "Problem" to a friend
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Mon, 25 May 1998
Message-ID: <3576f3f3.24508687@news-f.std.com>

In article <6kcgkm$mbf$1@nnrp1.dejanews.com>
mjohnson48 wrote:

>Let's see, how to explain Theron... You know those kids games you see in
>arcades sometimes? The ones where a head pops up out of a hole and makes
>a really loud, obnoxious, irritating noise over and over and over again
>until you smack it down with the big mallet? And then another head pops
>up out of another hole and does the same thing?

This is not a game!  This is why I was transferred off the maternity ward!

** 
Dr. Infinity, M.D., ret.

        (+)(+) 
         |  |  


 
Subject:    Re: The Death of Civil Liberty
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.startrek.current,alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.tv.babylon-5,
                 rec.arts.sf.tv,rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5
Date:       Tue, 26 May 1998
Message-ID: <356e32af.3150575@news-f.std.com>

In article <EtJD7L.J9v@world.std.com>
Franklin Hummel wrote:

>>On 25 May 1998 17:12:13 GMT, Charles Taylor
>>wrote:
>>
>>>The link between usenet and pornography is strong.  The link between
>>>usenet and flaming is also strong, as is the link between usenet and
>>>spam.
>>>Your point?
> 
>
> 	Flaming porn.
> 


alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.firefighters

I see a great need.


** 
Captain Infinity
           (+)(+)
            |  |   
          /      \


 
Subject:    Re: Moyra's got her hands down my pants![long]
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Thu, 28 May 1998
Message-ID: <356dad6b.23339073@news-f.std.com>

In article <6kk24l$icq@drn.newsguy.com>
V wrote:

>>Ah, fugget.  Here it is in a super-seekret-coded nutshell:
>>
>>Abqhrfabehyrfcnegvpvcngvbavfibyhagnelcvpxlbhebjaenaxhfrvgvalbhe.fvtfbbgure
>>XCFzrzorefpnaerpbtavmrlbhfbzrgvzrfohgabgnyjnlfjrtrggbtrgurebaVEPbaHaqrearg
>>punaary#NygSnaGbz-Freibng8:00CZRFGFhaqnlfgursvefgvffhrbsgurarjfyrggregvgyrq
>>gur"WbheanybsVzcbffvoyrUbcrfnaqNonaqbarqQernzf"(W.V.U.N.Q.)fubhyqorchoyvfurq
>>naqqvfgevohgrqgbbheSnvgushyGebbcferny*fbba*abjgur"XnzvxnmrCrrcFdhnqSND"pnaor
>>sbhaqbaQrwnArjfvgvfubcryrffylbhgbsqngrnfVtnirhcgelvatgbxrrchcjvgugurahzorebs
>>arjcrrcreffrirenyzbagufntbwhfgnfjryyvgjnfnynexnaljnl.(Qbynexfcrrc?)
>
>     I'm sorry, but I think you made a typo.

Oh, eek, you're right.  Is my face red!

I meant "fuggit", of course.

** 
Captain Infinity
           (+)(+)
            |  |
          /      \


By now I'm sure you can see what was happening.  Kermit was slowly coming back to life, in my .sig.
A couple of Kermit's best friends recognized it at this point, but held their breath so as not to jinx it.
One other thing, which absolutely nobody realized, was that the above post contained the text of the "Welcome To The Kamikaze Peep Squad" letter, in coded form.  This code is easily breakable by anyone who reads Usenet with any frequency...but no one ever tried to break it, assuming, as usual, that I was spouting gibberish.
(Or should that be "assuming that I was spouting gibberish, as usual"?  Whatever.)

 
Subject:    Re: Wrasslin' and Ted Turner
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.tv.earth-final-conflict
Date:       Sat, 30 May 1998
Message-ID: <3571585e.10083992@news-f.std.com>


Linda J Lee wrote:

>They have some pretty good original movies, and their library of old
>movies is pretty good too. That roughcut show is ok.

Hey, didn't you used to be Supergirl?  I haven't seen you since the Crisis.

** 
Captain Infinity
 ...currently hanging out on Earth "V"
             (+)(+)
              |  |   
            /      \


 
Subject:    Re: Adding to the crosspost
             (was: Re: Jahweh Lynch is a Big Fat Idiot)
Newsgroups: alt.music.pink-floyd,alt.religion.kibology,alt.fan.tom-servo,
                 alt.society.generation-x.ls-bumgarner
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Date:       Sat, 30 May 1998
Message-ID: <35711a4e.1211724@news-f.std.com>

In article <Etr6uI.9yK@world.std.com>
Brian "JARAI" Chase wrote:

>In article <809DB9708620D6D6.0F41F7C3C15E1699.1D5E844C57E990F1@l
>Shelton Garner wrote:                                           ib     
>                                                                  ra
>Hey Lee!  Has your message ID been taking too much Viagra?          ar
>                                                                      y-
>>>>>>Warning: You are rapidly approaching "Bumgarner".                 pr
>                                                                        o
>>You mean "Lee S. Bumgarner."                                           x
>                                                                        y
>Lee's back YAY!  Things just weren't the same without you for the       .
>past couple of days; a.r.k was all imbalanced and crud.                 a
>                                                                        i      
>-jarai.                                                                 r
                                                                         n
Hey, you think that you Kibogglizers had it tough...                     e
Lee hasn't posted to alt.fan.tom-servo since MAY 18!                     w 
And all he shared with us then was:                                      s
                                                                         . 
>If mental masturbation is against the law ONLY OUTLAWS WILL MENTALLY    n
>MASTERBATE.                                                             e
                                                                         t
which was news we (or at least I) sorely needed to hear.                 >

So, Lee...welcome back to AFT-S.  Please don't leave us again.  But if 
you must leave, please don't return.  Or both.  I don't care; whatever
makes you happy, makes me happy.  Or, to paraphrase Mrs. Higgingarner:

        When you mentally masterbate with Lee,
              Then you mentally masturbate with me!

** 
Captain Infinity          ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
            (+)(+)        |          The          |
             |  |   ,-----|        Lunatic        |
           /      \       |          Is           |


 
Subject:    Re: I GUESS I AM SIMPLISTIC
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Sun, 31 May 1998
Message-ID: <357bb050.39618743@news-f.std.com>

In article <1998053100212900.UAA17572@ladder03.news.aol.com>
Xqqme3 wrote:

>reading in this ng, we have people fighting if cc quit or got fired, defiant vs
>whitestar, st vs b-5, jms is great, jms is rotten, the females are getting a
>raw deal, etc.  the way i see it, if you like the show(s) then watch.  if not,
>then don't.  if you have nothing better to do than whine, get a life.  i enjoy
>watching both, and am happy as a clam.  ok flamers, give me your best shot


huh huh huh.  you said "clam".  huh huh huh.


** 
captain infinity          ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
            (+)(+)        |   in waking a tiger,   |
             |  |   ,-----|   use a long stick.    |
           /      \       |       --mao tse-tung   |
     (  )  \ -==- /  (  ) `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'


 
Subject:    Re: I GUESS I AM SIMPLISTIC
From:       Robert Holland <rholland@wco.com>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Mon, 01 Jun 1998 12:14:57 -0700
Message-ID: <3572FDB1.9DCB2B60@wco.com>

Captain Infinity wrote:
> 
> huh huh huh.  you said "clam".  huh huh huh.
> 
> **
> captain infinity          ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
>             (+)(+)        |   in waking a tiger,   |
>              |  |   ,-----|   use a long stick.    |
>            /      \       |       --mao tse-tung   |
>      (  )  \ -==- /  (  ) `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Why is there a goddam frog on your goddam sig, Cap?

And why is he Chinese?

--RH


 
Subject:    Re: I GUESS I AM SIMPLISTIC
From:       S Perry <garak@sprynet.com>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Tue, 02 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <357389AD.9D699477@sprynet.com>

Robert Holland wrote:

> Captain Infinity wrote:
> >
> > huh huh huh.  you said "clam".  huh huh huh.
> >
> > **
> > captain infinity          ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
> >             (+)(+)        |   in waking a tiger,   |
> >              |  |   ,-----|   use a long stick.    |
> >            /      \       |       --mao tse-tung   |
> >      (  )  \ -==- /  (  ) `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
>
> Why is there a goddam frog on your goddam sig, Cap?
>
> And why is he Chinese?

A much better quote would be the one attributed to Mao by Edward Snow,
"I am a monk holding an umbrella, without hair, without sky" - the last
part a mistranslation that should say "a law and god unto myself."



 
Subject:    Re: I GUESS I AM SIMPLISTIC
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Tue, 2 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <3574f04b.1570120@news-f.std.com>

In article <357389AD.9D699477@sprynet.com>
S Perry wrote:

>Robert Holland wrote:
>
>> Captain Infinity wrote:
>> >
>> > huh huh huh.  you said "clam".  huh huh huh.
>> >
>> > **
>> > captain infinity          ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
>> >             (+)(+)        | Why is there a goddam  |
>> >              |  |   ,-----|  frog on your goddam   |
>> >            /      \       | sig, Cap? --R Holland  |
>> >      (  )  \ -==- /  (  ) `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
>>

That's no frog, that's Krab Rising!

>> And why is he Chinese?

He's not Chinese.  He's still mostly dead.

>A much better quote would be the one attributed to Mao by Edward Snow,
>"I am a monk holding an umbrella, without hair, without sky" - the last
>part a mistranslation that should say "a law and god unto myself."

Oh, yes, that's much better, thank you.
I'll be sure to use it when I need to make less sense.


** 
Captain Infinity           ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
             (+)(+)        |     It's not easy     |
              |  |   ,-----|      being dead.      |
            /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
      (  )  \ -==- /  (  ) 
        \    \    /    /


For anyone who had not realized it yet, "That's no frog, that's Krab Rising!" set all doubt to rest as to what was going on.
But by this point, only Kermit's head, top klaws, and word balloon had emerged.
More was to come that would prove to be a puzzle.

 
Subject:    If a Troll flames in the woods, is the bear Catholic?
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.religion.kibology,alt.food.peeps
Date:       Tue, 2 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <3576f7d5.3499995@news-f.std.com>

In article <357345C4.A7A@tyler.net>
WWS wrote:

>If you hypothesize that Usenet is the personification
>of a truly anarchistic society, then I would put to you that
>it's life will be nasty, brutish, and short.

Hey, stop trollerizing Gharlane!

>> > Assume a flame is a post perceived by the intended recipient as
>> > an insult--how are we to judge whether that recipient truly saw
>> > the post as an insult? We cannot. We can only observe the
>> > discourse and hazard a guess.
>
>Well, you could ask the intended recipient.  It's what I would
>do, whether online are face to face.

Or better yet, what we need is an emoticon that indicates "I'm flaming
you".  Hey, we have smileys [1] and winkys for jokes, so why not flameys?

Here's my suggestion for a flamey:

  :-$#!*

I'm sure someone else can do better.  I'm offering a box of mostly-fresh
marshmallow Peeps (albino Peeps!) to whomever comes up with the best flamey
emoticon!  Deadline for submission is July 1, 1989.  (That's for you bozos
who find this post on Deja News sometime in 2003 and have the absurd idea
that I'll still have some fresh peeps on hand.)

>> > > > None of this makes much sense in a free forum, for flames
>> > > > do not exist without participants from both sides.
>
>Bad definition.  Trolls don't exist without participation.  I
>could do what would be commonly perceived as a flame right now,
>and it would be a flame whether you or anyone responded.

If a Troll flames in the woods...

>Without words we are animals, capable of only the basest emotions,
>responding only to physical needs.

...is the bear Catholic?

>It only requires the determination from one person
>to turn his back on what is considered "moral behavior" and to 
>show contempt for a group.  I could say things that could provoke
>anyone short of St. Francis the Sissy. (example - I probably just
>insulted 2 or 3 groups, and that was just a casual offhand remark
>with no intent behind it at all)

That's *nothing*!  I just insulted an entire *religion* AND a *species*,
casually and offhandedly, with no *sense* behind it at all!  HA!

I like it so much, I think I'll change the subject header!  THERE!  DONE!
(Oboy, I can't wait for the hate mail to flow in.  Those bears are damn
sensitive!)


** 
Captain Infinity           ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
             (+)(+)        |  [1] Smiley's were    |
              |  |   ,-----|  invented by Kibo.    |
            /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
      (  )  \ -==- /  (  ) 
        \    \    /    /


I have to admit, the above post was a trollization of Kibo.
I was surprised when it proved successful, as Kibo is somewhat difficult to trollerize.
Of course, he surprised me by dealing with the "make a flamey" troll offhandedly, and tweaking Kermit instead.
His response to the above can be found here, although my reply somewhere below incorporates it.

 
Subject:    Re: I GUESS I AM SIMPLISTIC
From:       openbook@sirius.com (Blackhawk)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Tue, 02 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <openbook-0206981703350001@ppp-asfm05--018.sirius.net>

In article <3574f04b.1570120@news-f.std.com>,
(Captain Infinity) wrote:

> In article <357389AD.9D699477@sprynet.com>
> S Perry wrote:
> 
> >Robert Holland wrote:
> >
> >> Captain Infinity wrote:
> >> >
> >> > huh huh huh.  you said "clam".  huh huh huh.
> >> >
> >> > **
> >> > captain infinity          ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
> >> >             (+)(+)        | Why is there a goddam  |
> >> >              |  |   ,-----|  frog on your goddam   |
> >> >            /      \       | sig, Cap? --R Holland  |
> >> >      (  )  \ -==- /  (  ) `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
> >>
> 
> That's no frog, that's Krab Rising!

no, that's KRAB RISING!

> 
> >> And why is he Chinese?
> 
> He's not Chinese.  He's still mostly dead.

Correct, this is Chinese:

 ||,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,||,         |,    ,|                    |,   ||,
 ||                             ,||   ,|'     ,,             ||    ||
 ||    ||'''''''''||           ,|' ,,|;,,,,,,,,;;,          ,|'    ||    ,,
 ||    ||         ||          ,|'      ,,,  ,    '         ,|''''''||'''''''
 ||    ||'''''''''||        ,|||     ,|''    '|,.        ,|'       ||
 ||                       ,|' ||   ,|' ,        '|,    ,|'         ||
 ||  ||''''|| ||''''||   '    ||  '    ||,,,,,|,  ''  '            ||     ,,
 ||  ||    || ||    ||        ||      ||,    ||            ''''''''||'''''''' 
 ||  ||    || ||    ||        ||     ||'|,  ,|'                    ||
 ||  ||''''|| ||''''||        ||   ,'    '||'                      ||
 ||                           ||       ,,|''|,.                    ||
,||,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,||,     ||  ,,,||''    ''||||'    ,,,,,,,,,,,||,,,,,,,||,

                                 dcau@ nwu.edu
           Accepting contributions for the 1998 ASCII Chinese Character List!
                         http://pubweb.acns.nwu.edu/~dcau


> 
> >A much better quote would be the one attributed to Mao by Edward Snow,
> >"I am a monk holding an umbrella, without hair, without sky" - the last
> >part a mistranslation that should say "a law and god unto myself."
> 
> Oh, yes, that's much better, thank you.
> I'll be sure to use it when I need to make less sense.

The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao. - Lao Tsu

> 
> 
> ** 
> Captain Infinity           ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
>              (+)(+)        |     It's not easy     |
>               |  |   ,-----|      being dead.      |
>             /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
>       (  )  \ -==- /  (  ) 
>         \    \    /    /

But it's dead being easy!

**
Blackhawk
Does a Krab have a Buddha nature?


 
Subject:    Re: I GUESS I AM SIMPLISTIC
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Wed, 3 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <357abc01.100792253@news-f.std.com>

In article <openbook-0206981703350001@ppp-asfm05--018.sirius.net>
Blackhawk wrote:

>Correct, this is Chinese:
>
> ||,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,||,         |,    ,|                    |,   ||,
> ||                             ,||   ,|'     ,,             ||    ||
> ||    ||'''''''''||           ,|' ,,|;,,,,,,,,;;,          ,|'    ||    ,,
> ||    ||         ||          ,|'      ,,,  ,    '         ,|''''''||'''''''
> ||    ||'''''''''||        ,|||     ,|''    '|,.        ,|'       ||
> ||                       ,|' ||   ,|' ,        '|,    ,|'         ||
> ||  ||''''|| ||''''||   '    ||  '    ||,,,,,|,  ''  '            ||     ,,
> ||  ||    || ||    ||        ||      ||,    ||            ''''''''||'''''''' 
> ||  ||    || ||    ||        ||     ||'|,  ,|'                    ||
> ||  ||''''|| ||''''||        ||   ,'    '||'                      ||
> ||                           ||       ,,|''|,.                    ||
>,||,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,||,     ||  ,,,||''    ''||||'    ,,,,,,,,,,,||,,,,,,,||,
>
>                                 dcau@ nwu.edu
>           Accepting contributions for the 1998 ASCII Chinese Character List!
>                         http://pubweb.acns.nwu.edu/~dcau


Please allow me to translate:

"Pac Man is so happy he flips for joy, because Godzilla has been trapped
between the power lines hanging from the phone poles."

HTH.

** 
Captain Infinity


 
Subject:    Re: If a Troll flames in the woods, is the bear Catholic?
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Thu, 4 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <3578ff94.11034919@news-f.std.com>

In alt.religion.kibology
In article <kibo-0206982327510001@ppp0a039.std.com>
James "Kibo" Parry wrote:

>In various newsgroups, Captain Infinity wrote:
>> 
>> [...] what we need is an emoticon that indicates "I'm flaming
>> you".  Hey, we have smileys [1] and winkys for jokes, so why not flameys?
>> 
>> Here's my suggestion for a flamey:
>> 
>>   :-$#!*
>> 
>> I'm sure someone else can do better.
>
>    :-$#!+
>
>Happy now?

One step forward, two steps backwards.  
Am I dizzy or am I delirious?

Yours Truly,
Ami Dizlerious

>> I'm offering a box of mostly-fresh marshmallow Peeps (albino Peeps!)
>> to whomever comes up with the best flamey emoticon! 
>
>You can send them to Me, care of Me, at My Place, in Me Land.
>
>Now.

*TING!*  Done.

Strange, they're still here.  
They appear semantically dazed and confused.

>> Deadline for submission is July 1, 1989.  (That's for you bozos
>> who find this post on Deja News sometime in 2003 and have the absurd idea
>> that I'll still have some fresh peeps on hand.)
>
>Oh, like they're EVER going to have four-year-old posts available
>(I mean posts that ARE four years old, not posts from Archimedes Plutonium.)
>I suspect that by 2003 their archive will have been trimmed down to just
>December 2002 through January 2003, and then they'll put up a big banner
>saying "WE STILL OCVER TWO YEARS!" even though they're keeping their archive
>of three posts on a floppy disk to save money.
>
>And they'll put the disk in an enevelope and mail it to you if you need
>to look at it.
>
>> 
>> ** 
>> Captain Infinity           ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
>>              (+)(+)        |  [1] Smiley's were    |
>>               |  |   ,-----|  invented by Kibo.    |
>>             /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
>>       (  )  \ -==- /  (  ) 
>>         \    \    /    /
>
>Oh boy!  It's time for another fun game of Dot Signature Exquisite Corpse,
>invented by Salvador Dali's cousin Salvador Plutonium!  My turn:
>
>> 
>> ** 
>> Captain Infinity           ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
>>              (+)(+)        |  [1] Smiley's were    |
>>               |  |   ,-----|  invented by Kibo.    |
>>             /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
>>       (  )  \ -==- /  (  ) 
>>         \    \    /    /
>           \  /\\  //\  /
>            \/   \/   \/
>             \   ==   /
>              \      /
>               ======
>
>There, I gave your Hensonish .sig monster a Jetsons shirt.  Now the Usenet
>reader to my right can draw some feet

Claws.  Clams have feet.

>                                      and we'll have a new TV series.
>Or if this experiment fails we can dismantle it to salvage as many
>blackslashes as possible to make (T) signage for AUDITORIUM\ICA station.
>
>                                                -- K.
>
>                                                I think they took out
>                                                the backslash, so maybe
>                                                we can put the backslashes
>                                                into that nine-sided asymmetric
>                                                pink stop sign at the market.

**
Captain Infinity           ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
                           | In seven days Krab will have |
             (+)(+)   ,----| more backslashes than should |
              |  |   /     |   be allowed, even in ARK.   |
            /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
      (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
        \    \    /    /              //\()/\\



I found out later that the strange items growing below Kermit's word balloon kept people puzzled for several days.

 
Subject:    Re: If a Troll Lives Like a Wookee in the Hall, 
                 is he Gambling in Las Vegas or Milan?
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5
Date:       Thu, 4 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <35768379.1481500@news-f.std.com>

In article <openbook-0406980124140001@ppp-asfm08--165.sirius.net>
Blackhawk wrote:

>I sent jdn a copy of this one, because I kept thinking about how many
>people I was boring to tears while diving head first into this stuff and
>loving it. He wrote me today (he took two days reading it over<g>) and
>wanted to know if Cap has been able to 'discover/create' any significant
>virtual community yet? And if so, has he access to its tax base <grin>? 
>If so, can jdn move there?


Tell him I built Cortlandt, then I blew it up.  


**                         ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
Captain Infinity           |                            |
             (+)(+)   ,----| and boy, are my lips tired |
              |  |   /     |                            |
            /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
      (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
        \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
         \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))


 
Subject:    Re: If a Troll flames in the woods, is the bear Catholic?
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Thu, 4 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <3577b4b5.9164046@news-f.std.com>

In article <3576A1D7.35A6B42A@bee.net>
Kristie wrote:

>Captain Infinity wrote:
>
>> Claws.  Clams have feet.
>
>Actually.
>
>Clams have _foot_.  A single and lone soft-tissue foot which slides
>out of the shell and pushes the shell (and the clam contained therein)
>along the ocean floor.
>
>It looks kinda gross actually... like a tongue.

   Oh baby, are you making me hot!

>I like crab better than clams anyway.

   Krab.

**                         ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
Captain Infinity           |                       |
             (+)(+)   ,----|  Crabs make me itch.  |
              |  |   /     |                       |
            /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
      (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
        \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
         \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
          '-/      \-'                  /  \   


 
Subject:    Re: If a Troll falls in the woods, does anybody hear it? [META] 
                 (was: Aspects of the nature of some Usenet groups)
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5
Date:       Thu, 4 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <35782f7f.2098203@news-f.std.com>

In article <openbook-0406980124560001@ppp-asfm08--165.sirius.net>
Blackhawk wrote:

>In article <3575CD90.FF91AB1B@wco.com>, rholland wrote:

>> You certainly can't use Usenet as a venue for retribution,
>> other than to flame away. It's not even a good venue for
>> conducting investigations.
>
>All too true my friend. 
>
>Say...are you V?

GolDurn it!  I thought *you* were "V" this week!!?

Will somebody please email me the updated "V-Rotation Schedule"?  
I'd hate for another few days to go by like last week, when I 
thought it was Ben's turn, and I missed *my* turn completely.


**                    ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
Captain Infinity      |     Morph for me,     |
        (+)(+)   ,----|     Less for you.     |
         |  |   /     `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
       /      \       
 (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
   \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
    \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
     '-/      \-'                  /  \


 
Subject:    Re: Pop culture shtuff I don't unnerstand
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Fri, 5 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <357d430a.25635627@news-f.std.com>

In alt.religion.kibology
In article <kibo-2805980210190001@ppp0a002.std.com>
James "Kibo" Parry wrote:

>Now, exactly halfway between zero and infinity would be William Shatner.
>Therefore, everything in the world can be classified into two groups:
>1.)  Better than owning William Shatner.
>2.)  Worse than owning William Shatner.
>
>Of all the things better than owning William Shatner, exactly halfway
>up (75% of infinity) would be owning Martin Landau.  And halfway between
>that and the top (87.5% of infinity) would be owning "Star Trek".
>And halfway between that and the top (93.75% of infinity) would be
>owning the button that cancels "Star Trek" retroactively and deposits
>all the money it WOULD have made into your bank account.

Press one of the secret buttons on my button-fly pants and it deposits all
the money in existence into my bank account.

However, I'm not wearing any pants.  I have foresworn all the fortune of the
world in order to maintain Kibological purity.  Were this publicly known I
would be declared legally insane.

But I keep it a secret...I prefer to remain illegally insane.

WHEN INSANITY IS OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL BE INSANE!  

>In the other direction, halfway between William Shatner and Eternal Nothingness,
>at 25% from the bottom, would be owning William Shatner's hair.  With no
>choice in the matter.  If you tried to peel it off your scalp you would die.
>
>In this manner we can assign a one-to-one correspondence between all
>irrational numbers and major celebrities.


**                         ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
Captain Infinity           | My goal in life is to be  |
             (+)(+)   ,----| both an irrational number |
              |  |   /     | *and* a major celebrity.  |
            /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
      (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
        \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
         \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
          '-/      \-'                  /  \   
        ,--/        \--            .'```````'~.


 
Subject:    Re: Season 5 Filler Or Not? (JMS Speaks)
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv,alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.tv.babylon-5
Date:       Fri, 5 Jun 1998 19:44:47 GMT
Message-ID: <357e4881.27035146@news-f.std.com>

In article <6l99vp$avr$1@nnrp1.dejanews.com>
Troy_Heagy quoted JMS as saying:

>So basically, my reply to the hysterics and the whiners is this: when this
>season is over, and you see how it all lays out...then we'll talk.  To say it
>ain't there before you know what's there, before you see the connections, is
>just plain stupid, and if they can complain to me about no arc, I can complain
>about their shortsightedness.

Oh man, am I confused.  

Am I a hysteric, a whiner, shortsighted, or just plain stupid?

Somebody please fill me in; JMS ain't talking to me.  :-(

**                         
Captain Infinity           ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
             (+)(+)   ,----|  and here I thought  |
              |  |   /     |  I was just a fan.   |
            /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
      (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
        \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
         \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
          '-/      \-'                  /  \   
        ,--/        \--            .'```````'~.


A few posts above, I mentioned "Ben".  This was a reference to KPS Admiral Ben "Danny" Matterson.
I don't know why I had been thinking about him, but at that point I decided to track him down.
I found him posting support articles in borland.public.delphi.non-technical, and decided to let Kermit troll him.

 
Subject:    Re: Tobacco
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: borland.public.delphi.non-technical,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Sat, 6 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <358d9d04.11477053@news-f.std.com>

In borland.public.delphi.non-technical
In article <35773140.EC511389@corp.inprise.com>
Ben Matterson (Inprise) wrote:

>Daniel J. Wojcik wrote:
>
>> Red Dye #4 (?) does cause cancer...if you inject it subcutaneously.
>> But how many people were shooting maraschino cherries?
>
>I thought everybody... uh, nevermind.
>
>Ben

I shot a maraschino cherry in my pajamas.

How it got into my pajamas is
a secret between me, my girlfriend, 
and the bartender.

**                         ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
Captain Infinity           |                      |
             (+)(+)   ,----| Hi Ben!  I miss you! |
              |  |   /     |                      |
            /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
      (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
        \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
         \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
          '-/      \-'                  /  \   
        ,--/        \--.           .'```````'~.
       / --|        |-- \         /          \ \


For some reason, Ben never saw my post in bpdn-t,
and didn't even know of its existence until we exchanged email seven months later.

 
Subject:    Re: Season 5 Filler Or Not? (JMS Speaks)
From:       WWS <wschmidt@no-spamtyler.net>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv,alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.tv.babylon-5
Date:       Sat, 06 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <35794670.58B27546@no-spamtyler.net>

Captain Infinity wrote:

> In article <6l99vp$avr$1@nnrp1.dejanews.com>
> Troy_Heagy quoted JMS as saying:
>
> >So basically, my reply to the hysterics and the whiners is this: when this
> >season is over, and you see how it all lays out...then we'll talk.  To say it
> >ain't there before you know what's there, before you see the connections, is
> >just plain stupid, and if they can complain to me about no arc, I can complain
> >about their shortsightedness.
>
> Oh man, am I confused.
>
> Am I a hysteric, a whiner, shortsighted, or just plain stupid?

Is that a rhetorical question?  Or do you really want an answer?

> Somebody please fill me in; JMS ain't talking to me.  :-(

Well, he just isn't going for the prostitue who plays bagpipes inbetween
tricks._Maybe he'll write in one that can play a tune on the old bonaphone.

> **
> Captain Infinity           ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
>              (+)(+)   ,----|  and here I thought  |
>               |  |   /     |  I was just a fan.   |
>             /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
>       (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
>         \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
>          \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
>           '-/      \-'                  /  \
>         ,--/        \--            .'```````'~.

 He looks like a castanet player to me.

--

<*>

_______________________________________________________WWS______________


 
Subject:    Re: Getting this back to Bester!
             (was: Off Topic:  Bigotry and Eating meat
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.tv.babylon-5,
                 rec.arts.sf.tv,alt.fan.silly-putty
Date:       Sat, 6 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <357cc690.3623020@news-f.std.com>

In article <3579A914.43F2@telusplanet.net>
David Johnston wrote:

>Rat & Swan wrote:
>> 
>> Prodigal wrote:
>> >
>> > >"they have no regard for their own lives, why should we?" -- Alfred
>> > >Bester: TCIM TCIF
>> >
>> > The reason this fails not only utterly, but ludicrously, to counter my
>> > argument is that Bester does not view himself as being a mundane.
>> 
>> I would counter that Bester sees himself as a human being, albeit a more
>> "evolved" one. I suppose a better analogy would be the idea of "If inner
>> city gang members kill each other off, why should I care? They don't."
>
>That is a far more appropriate analogy.  
>
>> If bester is told "You are not an
>> advance on biology, you are a manufactured organism designed as a
>> weapon!" it puts an end to the "we are genetically advancing humanity."
>> message Psi Corps is soaking its employees in!
>
>I don't see why.  Intent has little bearing on results.

Absolutely true.  Just because something is created for a specific purpose
does not mean it cannot be used for another, better purpose.

Take, for instance, Silly Putty.

In 1943, because of the economic pressures of the Second World War, General
Electric was trying to develop a cheap substitute for rubber.  A chemist
working for them, James Wright, mixed silicone oil and boric acid and
developed a putty-like substance that bounced like crazy, stretched further
than rubber (until it cleanly snapped), was able to re-join itself.  (It also
had the dubious ability to lift newsprint from the paper).

General Electric could find no practical use for this, and the product would
have died if not for Peter Hodgson who, in 1949, bought the rights for what
he later called "Silly Putty" and made it into one of the most well-known
children's toys of all time.  Heck, Silly Putty has even been in space; the
Apollo 8 crew brought some with them to play with and to use to stick tools
in place.

So don't go putting down the peeps as a failed experiment just because
they're not being used for their original purpose.  If all goes well,
telepathy may someday be packaged in small eggs and sold over-the-counter.


**                         ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
Captain Infinity           |   Next week, I'll be  |
             (+)(+)   ,----|   comparing Shadows   |
              |  |   /     |  and Whoopee Cushions |
            /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
      (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
        \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
         \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
          '-/      \-'                  /  \   
        ,--/        \--.           .'```````'~.
       / --|        |-- \         /          \ \


 
Subject:    Re: Pop culture shtuff I don't unnerstand
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Sun, 7 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <358a0f81.31676946@news-f.std.com>

Kibo said I'm allowed to post this here.

In alt.religion.kibology
In article <kibo-0606980148410001@ppp0a010.std.com>
James "Kibo" Parry wrote:

>Captain Infinity wrote:
>>
>
>Hey, I just ate a box of your new Captain Infinity With Squishberries
>breakfast treat with 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999%
>the daily values of vitamins A through Z, but I don't feel any happier.
>So I want my money back.  And take away my vitamin W!
>
>VITAMIN W.  KEEPS YOUR SKIN HEALTHILY TRANSPARENT.  TRY SOME TODAY!
>
>> James "Kibo" Parry wrote:
>> > 
>> > And halfway between that and the top (93.75% of infinity) would be
>> > owning the button that cancels "Star Trek" retroactively and deposits
>> > all the money it WOULD have made into your bank account.
>> 
>> Press one of the secret buttons on my button-fly pants and it deposits all
>> the money in existence into my bank account.
>
>Not YOU, you yutz, I was referring to infinity in the general Cantor
>aleph-sub-null sense.  You're not sub-null, you're not even sub-sub-null!
>
>> However, I'm not wearing any pants.  I have foresworn all the fortune of the
>> world in order to maintain Kibological purity.  Were this publicly known I
>> would be declared legally insane.
>> 
>> But I keep it a secret...I prefer to remain illegally insane.
>> 
>> WHEN INSANITY IS OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL BE INSANE! 
>
>I think you should be inlawed before you go outsane.  Then they'll lock
>you in an inhouse for your inrageously outappropriate behaviand.
>
>> **                         ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
>> Captain Infinity           | My goal in life is to be  |
>>              (+)(+)   ,----| both an irrational number |
>>               |  |   /     | *and* a major celebrity.  |
>>             /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
>>       (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
>>         \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
>>          \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
>>           '-/      \-'                  /  \   
>>         ,--/        \--            .'```````'~.
>
>Your .sig reminds me that I have to create a new Muppet TV series
>within two weeks.
>
>                                                -- K.
>
>                                                As a gift for a friend.


**                         ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
Captain Infinity           |  Strange...it reminds  |
             (+)(+)   ,----|   me that I need to    |
              |  |   /     | give crabs to a friend |
            /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
      (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
        \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
         \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
          '-/      \-'                  /  \   
        ,--/        \--.           .'```````'~.
       / --|        |-- \         /          \ \
      / / --\      /-- \ \       /           / /


 
Subject:    Re: Who are the Flying Saucers
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: alt.tv.babylon-5,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Sun, 7 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <358b13d7.32786966@news-f.std.com>

In alt.tv.babylon-5
In article <357AE7D4.BB19F3CB@anderson5.net>
Brent Heaton wrote:

>In which episode was it established that the Vree drive the flying
>saucers?

I think it was "Mars Attacks".

"Vree will not hurt you.  Vree are your friends!"


**                         ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
Captain Infinity           |                    |
             (+)(+)   ,----| Rak! Rakrak! RAAK! |
              |  |   /     |                    |
            /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
      (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
        \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
         \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
          '-/      \-'                  /  \   
        ,--/        \--.           .'```````'~.
       / --|        |-- \         /          \ \
      / / --\      /-- \ \       /           / /


Every once in a while I'll stumble over a post
that makes me laugh so much I want to share it with everyone in AFT-S.
The following quoted post by Pat Merrill is one of these.
My own comment in this followup was added so it looked like I had a reason to post it
...but really, Merrill's post stands on its own.

 
Subject:    Re: Pizza Nightmares
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: alt.pizza.delivery.drivers,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Mon, 8 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <35806d38.22486702@news-f.std.com>

In alt.pizza.delivery.drivers
In message <357A3921.2BCD7AAC@concentric.net> 
Pat Merrill wrote:

>Byron L. Mann wrote:
>
>> sacajaweeda wrote:
>>
>> > Ever had one of those "Pizza Nightmares"?
>>
>> Last night I had this dream that there were only three drivers and one
>> manager on a Friday dinner.  I think the dream stemmed from having so
>> many carry outs all the time, but here it goes........
>
>They just kept coming, never ending.  They had a glazed look on their
>faces.  They were hungry, I just knew it.  One of them told another,
>"Get more cops"  I knew it would get ugly then.  I knew that I was in
>the world of survival (carryout) horror.
>
>>
>>
>> I was helping out inside on the makeline, cheesing pizzas and there
>> wereabout 20 carryout customers all staring at the manager and me making
>> orders.  Funny thing the phone wasn't ringing.  But that was because I
>> had cut the phone cords with a huge butcher knife.
>
>They were chanting "brains, brains, brains.."  I knew that pizza would
>not satisfy their bloodlust.  I turned the electric lock on, so that
>more of these mindless zombies could not enter.  I had enough to deal
>with as it was.
>
>>
>>
>> There was this one couple who managed their way behind the counter and
>> was right on top of us staring in that blank carryout glimmer.
>
>"Brains"  I immediately cleaved open the head of the MIT who failed to
>show up the previous night, and began spoon feeding the carryout zombies
>his "brain".  I now have a zombie friend.  His name is "skinless
>zombie".  I wrote a poem about my new found friend, and it is as such:
>
>                               SKINLESS ZOMBIE
>
>                            Skinless zombie
>                             where are your clothes?
>                            Skinless zombie
>                              where is your skin?
>
>My skinless friend turned on me, and began to disembowel the closing
>driver.
>
>                               SKINLESS ZOMBIE
>                                  Where are your clothes?
>                                skinless zombie
>                                   *I* don't want to close
>
>
>> Finally, I said to them quite irritated "Do you need something?"
>> The woman responded gleefully, "No were just hanging out watching you
>> make pizzas."
>
>I then GLEEFULLY pumped several rounds (of the shotgun shells) into her
>gut.   I always look for ways to save on food cost, so I ripped her
>eyeballs out, and dumped them into the black olive bin.  Very hard to
>watch us make pizzas with no eyes, and I do enjoy my privacy.  I then
>gave the zombie carryout her last wish, and hanged her from the nearest
>post.
>
>Again, I was struck with poetry:
>
>                             ZOMBIE CARRYOUT
>
>                          Zombie carryout
>                              have you a clue?
>                           Zombie carryout
>                              tell me what to do
>                            Zombie Carryout
>                              Do you want your pizza fast?
>                            Zombie Carryout
>                               should I shove it up your ass?
>
>Pat
>
>If any of this is lost on you please email me.


Thank you for this reminder to never again forget to tip.


**                         ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
Captain Infinity           |  I'd like one large  |
             (+)(+)   ,----|   Frog Pizza with    |
              |  |   /     |  Krab legs, please.  |
            /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
      (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
        \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
         \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
          '-/      \-'                  /  \   
        ,--/        \--.           .'```````'~.
       / --|        |-- \         /          \ \
      / / --\      /-- \ \       /           / /
     ()/ / --`----'-- \ \()     /           / /


 
Subject:    Re: Her feet
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.kirsten-dunst,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Tue, 9 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <357e8fbb.19500304@news-f.std.com>

In alt.fan.kirsten-dunst
In article <6l3q5k$t66$1@news00.btx.dtag.de>
SunShine wrote:

>Does anyone know why there are so many pictures showing her feet?
>
>CU,
>Sun


Her publicist and agent got confused 
when she said she wanted more "walk on" parts.


**                         ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
Captain Infinity           |                         |
             (+)(+)   ,----| Something strange is... |
              |  |   /     |                         |
            /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
      (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
        \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
         \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
          '-/      \-'                  /  \   
        ,--/        \--            .'```````'~.
       / --|        |-- \         /          \ \
      / / --\      /-- \ \       /           / /
     ()/ / --`----'-- \ \()     /           / /
      ()/ /          \ \()     /           / /
       ()/            \()     /           / /


Something strange WAS.
Kermit was almost fully formed.   But...

 
Subject:    Re: B5 videos  + Have I missed anything in season 5
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Tue, 9 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <357ea85f.25808443@news-f.std.com>

In article <6lk6r3$pqh@sjx-ixn11.ix.netcom.com>
Bud Beacham  wrote:

>First, why aren't the episodes being released on DVD?

Forget that, why not BVD?  
Show more of Lochley in her underwear, that's what *I* say!

>Second, after seeing all episodes except for a couple in season
>1 I have only seen a couple since B5 moved to TNT.  Maybe its
>that annoying logo at the bottom of the screen.

I taped the cover of Claudia Christian's "Taboo" CD over that logo.
Now I don't have to see it, and a naked Ivanova is on every episode.

       Woo Hoo!

>So, is season 5 worth spending money on by buying the videos?

Hey, I hear some people are still trying to decide if Season 5 
is worth spending money on the electricity to power the TV set.

>bb

Stop doing that with your lips, you're getting spittle on the screen.


**                         ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
Captain Infinity           | ...feeling          |
             (+)(+)   ,----|      lighter        |
              |  |   /     |        than air...  |
            /      \       `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
      (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
        \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
         \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
          '-/      \-'                  /  \   
        ,--/        \--            .'```````'~.
       / --|        |-- \         /          \ \
      / / --\      /-- \ \       /           / /
     ()/ / --`----'-- \ \()     /           / /
      ()/ /          \ \()     /           / /
       ()/            \()     /           / /



But...what was that strange object next to him?
Naturally, alt.fan.tom-servo found out first...

 
Subject:    Kermit Krab REBORN!
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Thu, 10 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <35801df4.1676252@news-f.std.com>


             \  |  /
           \  ` ` `  `/
         \ ` \ | | / `  /   ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
       \ ` \`      ` / ' /  |                       |
      \` \   (+)(+)   ,-----| HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! |
      ` \     |  |   / / /  |                       |
            /      \        `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
      (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
        \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
         \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
          '-/      \-'                  /  \
        ,--/        \--.           .'```````'~.
       / --|        |-- \         /          \ \
      / / --\      /-- \ \       /   Kermit  / /
     ()/ / --`----'-- \ \()     /   Krab    / /
      ()/ /          \ \()     /   R.I.P.  / /
       ()/            \()     /           / /
,;//;,;,(),;`         ()   ,;/,//,/,;,//,/,/,//,
;,:/,;,/;,/,/,;          ;/,//;/,;,//,;/;,;,/,;/
/;,:/,;,/;,;,:/;       ,/,/,`;,/,:/,`,/;,/,:/,;'
;/,;,/;,/,:/,/,/;"/'/",;,/;,//:/,;,/;,/,:/,;,/;`
'"'"'""''""'"'"''"'""'""'''''"'""""''"""'"'""'"' C.I.


** 
Captain Infinity
 ...you can't keep a good krab down


And then the SF groups...

 
Subject:    Re: Getting this back to Bester! 
             (was: Off Topic:  Bigotry and Eating meat
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.tv.babylon-5,
                 rec.arts.sf.tv,alt.fan.silly-putty
Date:       Wed, 10 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <35839834.8566617@news-f.std.com>

In article <357E0CD8.7320@pacbell.net>
Rat & Swan wrote:

>Captain Infinity wrote:
> 
>> David Johnston wrote:
> 
>> >Rat & Swan wrote:
>
>> >> Prodigal wrote:
>
>> >> If bester is told "You are not an
>> >> advance on biology, you are a manufactured organism designed as a
>> >> weapon!" it puts an end to the "we are genetically advancing humanity."
>> >> message Psi Corps is soaking its employees in!
>
>> >I don't see why.  Intent has little bearing on results.
> 
>> Absolutely true.  Just because something is created for a specific purpose
>> does not mean it cannot be used for another, better purpose.
>
>On the contrarty.  Evolution, as seen by most, is the grqadual
>improvement of a species, adaptations which better fit that species to
>survive and reproduce.

AhA!  Professor Contrarty, my mortal enemy!  Once again you attempt confuse
me with your bizarre theories of Grqadual Evolution!

>We already know that Bester and Psi Corps think of mundanes as 'lesser'
>and themselves as 'better'. 

Bester doesn't think of himself as "better" or even "Best".
He thinks of himself as "Bester".

BWA HA HA HAAAAA, refute that!  I dare you!  I Double Dog Dare you!
I Triple Dog Dare you to stick your tongue on this frozen pole!

>why? Well, they think that they are better
>fited by Nature. they are an evolutionary step forward.  It would be the
>same as the racist 'Aryan' theory. 

Ayn Rand was never a racist, she was an Objectivist.  This is the branch of
philosophy which says man is an intelligent creature guided only by his own
moral outlook, and that all actions are performed to benefit the "self", and
that to achieve ultimate moral and ethical strength one has to design and
create something from within the "self" and see it through to fruition.

Then you have to blow it up.  Or shut it down.  Or something like that.

>It's as if they believers in Aryan supremacy were told "You
>aren't blond and blue eyed because you are racially superior Aryans, you
>are blond and blue eyed because someone tampered with your genes and
>made you that way."

Sorry, I am not qualified to respond to this.  Although I do have blue eyes,
I am not blond.  Plus, I'm not wearing any genes.

ZING!  MEME MUTATION BEFORE YOUR VERY BLUE EYES!  

>Instead of being 14 karat gold, they're gold PLATED! Cultured pearls
attend the opera.  Swinish pearls go to the movies.  My left leg is fake
>instead of natural, wood grain plastic instead of solid oak. It's a
unique model, with artificial scrimshaw designs whittled in.  My IQ is also
>fake.
>
>Why does this matter? Because down the line, if they are 'breeding for
bozos' the rear window of the little car will get steamed up.  Those 'clown
>telepaths' they won't necessarily succeed! Mutations are a dropped (or
maybe bounced) ball of Silly Putty.  The Sunday Cartoon color ink has been
>added) stitch in the fabric and don't necessarily breed true or better.
Everyone knows it's impossible to get Silly Putty out of the rug fabric.

>Evolution tends to be a steady process with steady (if slow) results. It
>has been noted that manyseveral of Psi Corps experiments have gone
>disastrously wrong!

In fact, fewnone have gone disastrously right!  We agree here, I think,
although it may only be an aftereffect of the bongwater I just drank.

> They are NOT as successful as they want to think
>they are and the news that they are a CREATED mutation instead of a
>naturally evolved one may break their confidence. All their tales of
>superiority because Nature created them telepaths is out the window.

FALLING!  FALLING!  The Tales of Superiority screamed in TERROR, wind
whipping by its ears, as it plummeted to certain DOOM!  OH!  
To be squashed on the pavement below like...like...well, a squash, I guess.

Or maybe it would BOUNCE! and thereby survive!?  
It *is* made out of Silly Putty, after all.

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR THE EXCITING CONCLUSION!

THE END!

>It's as if they win the race NOT by running faster, but by cutting
>across the track center. They don't necessarily MERIT the win.

Oh, shoot, there was more, sorry.

>Swan

THE END!

** 
Captain Infinity

             \  |  /
           \  ` ` `  `/
         \ ` \ | | / `  /   ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
       \ ` \`      ` / ' /  |  DEATH CANNOT     |
      \` \   (+)(+)   ,-----|   HOLD ME...      |
      ` \     |  |   / / /  |     ...I BOUNCE!  |
            /      \        `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
      (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
        \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
         \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
          '-/      \-'                  /  \
        ,--/        \--.           .'```````'~.
       / --|        |-- \         /          \ \
      / / --\      /-- \ \       /   Kermit  / /
     ()/ / --`----'-- \ \()     /   Krab    / /
      ()/ /          \ \()     /   R.I.P.  / /
       ()/            \()     /           / /
,;//;,;,(),;`         ()   ,;/,//,/,;,//,/,/,//,
;,:/,;,/;,/,/,;          ;/,//;/,;,//,;/;,;,/,;/
/;,:/,;,/;,;,:/;       ,/,/,`;,/,:/,`,/;,/,:/,;'
;/,;,/;,/,:/,/,/;"/'/",;,/;,//:/,;,/;,/,:/,;,/;`
'"'"'""''""'"'"''"'""'""'''''"'""""''"""'"'""'"' C.I.


June 10, 1998, had been Kermit's rebirthday.
I wondered what else had happened on that day.

 
Subject:    Re: Words of Wisdom (Wed 06/10/98)
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.misc,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Thu, 11 Jun 1998 01:03:56 GMT
Message-ID: <35822a53.4843728@news-f.std.com>

In soc.culture.misc
In article <6lmc32$74h$1@ux2.accesscom.net>
Words of Wisdom wrote:

>Historical happenings today:
>06/10	First Apple II shipped, 1977
>06/10	Death of Alexander the Great, 323 B.C.
>06/10	Denver police tear gas Jethro Tull and 2000 fans at Red Rocks, 1971
>06/11	Greeks seize Troy, 1184BC
>06/11	Sauron attacks Osgilliath (LOTR)
>06/10	Camoes Day in Portugal
>06/11	King Kamehameha I Day in Hawaii
>06/11	Queen's Birthday
>06/10	Howlin' Wolf (Chester Burnett) is born in West Point, Mississippi, 1910
>06/10	Judy Garland born, 1922
>
>The hermit crab lives inside an empty shell, on which a sea
>anemone often rides as a "bodyguard." The anemone's stinging
>tentacles deter predators, and in return it gains mobility and thus a
>wider feeding range, as well as scraps of the crab's food. 


             \  |  /
           \  ` ` `  `/
         \ ` \ | | / `  /   ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
       \ ` \`      ` / ' /  |    With friends     |
      \` \   (+)(+)   ,-----|     like these      |
      ` \     |  |   / / /  | who needs anemones? |
            /      \        `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
      (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
        \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
         \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
          '-/      \-'                  /  \
        ,--/        \--.           .'```````'~.
       / --|        |-- \         /          \ \
      / / --\      /-- \ \       /   Kermit  / /
     ()/ / --`----'-- \ \()     /   Krab    / /
      ()/ /          \ \()     /   R.I.P.  / /
       ()/            \()     /           / /
,;//;,;,(),;`         ()   ,;/,//,/,;,//,/,/,//,
;,:/,;,/;,/,/,;          ;/,//;/,;,//,;/;,;,/,;/
/;,:/,;,/;,;,:/;       ,/,/,`;,/,:/,`,/;,/,:/,;'
;/,;,/;,/,:/,/,/;"/'/",;,/;,//:/,;,/;,/,:/,;,/;`
'"'"'""''""'"'"''"'""'""'''''"'""""''"""'"'""'"' C.I.

** 
Captain Infinity


 
Subject:    Re: Getting this back to Bester! 
             (was: Off Topic:  Bigotry and Eating meat
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.tv.babylon-5,
                 rec.arts.sf.tv,rec.arts.comics.misc
Date:       Thu, 11 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <35853241.6874090@news-f.std.com>

In article <357EAC97.851C8996@pacbell.net>
Michael P. Walsh wrote:

>No, Ayn Rand was not a racist and as far as I know never
>had anything to do with the Nazi Aryan Superman theories.

Superman was not a Nazi, he was an American.

Don't you remember that he fought for 
     "Truth, Justice, and the American Way"?

But you are correct that Ayn Rand had nothing to do with Superman.
Superman was created by Stan Lieber way back in the 1950's, 
just before the Comics Code was enacted...which, BYW, forced them to
temporarily change his name to Captain Marvel (the "SHAZAM!" guy).  

Plus, they had to take the bulge out of his tights, and he could no longer
carry a gun or kill the bad guys by cracking their heads together.

YHBT.  HAND.

** 
Captain Infinity
             \  |  /
           \  ` ` `  `/
         \ ` \ | | / `  /   ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
       \ ` \`      ` / ' /  | That comics code sure |
      \` \   (+)(+)   ,-----|  took the fun out of  |
      ` \     |  |   / / /  |   comics, didn't it?  |
            /      \        `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
      (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
        \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
         \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
          '-/      \-'                  /  \
        ,--/        \--.           .'```````'~.
       / --|        |-- \         /          \ \
      / / --\      /-- \ \       /   Kermit  / /
     ()/ / --`----'-- \ \()     /   Krab    / /
      ()/ /          \ \()     /   R.I.P.  / /
       ()/            \()     /           / /
,;//;,;,(),;`         ()   ,;/,//,/,;,//,/,/,//,
;,:/,;,/;,/,/,;          ;/,//;/,;,//,;/;,;,/,;/
/;,:/,;,/;,;,:/;       ,/,/,`;,/,:/,`,/;,/,:/,;'
;/,;,/;,/,:/,/,/;"/'/",;,/;,//:/,;,/;,/,:/,;,/;`
'"'"'""''""'"'"''"'""'""'''''"'""""''"""'"'""'"' C.I.


My friends are intelligent and kind people.
They put 2 and 2 together and came up with Infinity.

 
Subject:    Re: Words of Wisdom (Wed 06/10/98)
From:       tlsmith@netcom.com (Terry L. Smith)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.misc,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Thu, 11 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <tlsmithEuDG3z.FLn@netcom.com>

Captain Infinity wrote:
: In soc.culture.misc
: In article <6lmc32$74h$1@ux2.accesscom.net>
: Words of Wisdom wrote:

: >Historical happenings today:
: >06/10	First Apple II shipped, 1977
: >06/10	Death of Alexander the Great, 323 B.C.
: >06/10	Denver police tear gas Jethro Tull and 2000 fans at Red Rocks, 1971
: >06/11	Greeks seize Troy, 1184BC
: >06/11	Sauron attacks Osgilliath (LOTR)
: >06/10	Camoes Day in Portugal
: >06/11	King Kamehameha I Day in Hawaii
: >06/11	Queen's Birthday
: >06/10	Howlin' Wolf (Chester Burnett) is born in West Point, Mississippi, 1910
: >06/10	Judy Garland born, 1922
: >
: >The hermit crab lives inside an empty shell, on which a sea
: >anemone often rides as a "bodyguard." The anemone's stinging
: >tentacles deter predators, and in return it gains mobility and thus a
: >wider feeding range, as well as scraps of the crab's food. 

                           ...should'nt that be "fronds?" 
                                        VVVV
:              \  |  /
:            \  ` ` `  `/
:          \ ` \ | | / `  /   ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
:        \ ` \`      ` / ' /  |    With friends     |
:       \` \   (+)(+)   ,-----|     like these      |
:       ` \     |  |   / / /  | who needs anemones? |
:             /      \        `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
:       (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
:         \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
:          \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
:           '-/      \-'                  /  \
:         ,--/        \--.           .'```````'~.
:        / --|        |-- \         /          \ \
:       / / --\      /-- \ \       /   Kermit  / /
:      ()/ / --`----'-- \ \()     /   Krab    / /
:       ()/ /          \ \()     /   R.I.P.  / /
:        ()/            \()     /           / /
: ,;//;,;,(),;`         ()   ,;/,//,/,;,//,/,/,//,
: ;,:/,;,/;,/,/,;          ;/,//;/,;,//,;/;,;,/,;/
: /;,:/,;,/;,;,:/;       ,/,/,`;,/,:/,`,/;,/,:/,;'
: ;/,;,/;,/,:/,/,/;"/'/",;,/;,//:/,;,/;,/,:/,;,/;`
: '"'"'""''""'"'"''"'""'""'''''"'""""''"""'"'""'"' C.I.


Happy wonderful nifty peachy-keeno Re-birthday, Kermit!

(When's the next BBQ?   Or Wake?   ,,,just wondering....)



 "When in danger or in doubt,
   Run in circles, scream and shout."
    - Anne O. Nimmus



 - M.Q.S., Cdr. C'mell, KPS     AKA The Lady in Green
    
       ~~~  USENET Thuggess ~~~

 ... and Happy Birthday to you too, Cap, whenever it may be.


-- 
*--------------------------------------------------------------------*
| M.Q.S. c/o T.L.S   | "Don't play with that! You have no idea where |
| tlsmith@netcom.com | it's been..."      -- Speaker to Elevators    |
*--------------------------------------------------------------------*



 
Subject:    Re: Words of Wisdom (Wed 06/10/98)
From:       openbook@sirius.com (Blackhawk)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.misc,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Thu, 11 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <openbook-1106980027040001@ppp-asfm07--135.sirius.net>

In article <tlsmithEuDG3z.FLn@netcom.com>, 
(Terry L. Smith) wrote:

> Captain Infinity wrote:
> : In soc.culture.misc
> : In article <6lmc32$74h$1@ux2.accesscom.net>
> : Words of Wisdom wrote:
> 
> : >Historical happenings today:
> : >06/10  First Apple II shipped, 1977
> : >06/10  Death of Alexander the Great, 323 B.C.
> : >06/10  Denver police tear gas Jethro Tull and 2000 fans at Red Rocks, 1971
> : >06/11  Greeks seize Troy, 1184BC
> : >06/11  Sauron attacks Osgilliath (LOTR)
> : >06/10  Camoes Day in Portugal
> : >06/11  King Kamehameha I Day in Hawaii
> : >06/11  Queen's Birthday
> : >06/10  Howlin' Wolf (Chester Burnett) is born in West Point, Mississippi, 1910
> : >06/10  Judy Garland born, 1922
> : >
> : >The hermit crab lives inside an empty shell, on which a sea
> : >anemone often rides as a "bodyguard." The anemone's stinging
> : >tentacles deter predators, and in return it gains mobility and thus a
> : >wider feeding range, as well as scraps of the crab's food. 
> 
>                            ...should'nt that be "fronds?" 
>                                         VVVV
> :              \  |  /
> :            \  ` ` `  `/
> :          \ ` \ | | / `  /   ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
> :        \ ` \`      ` / ' /  |    With friends     |
> :       \` \   (+)(+)   ,-----|     like these      |
> :       ` \     |  |   / / /  | who needs anemones? |
> :             /      \        `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
> :       (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
> :         \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
> :          \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
> :           '-/      \-'                  /  \
> :         ,--/        \--.           .'```````'~.
> :        / --|        |-- \         /          \ \
> :       / / --\      /-- \ \       /   Kermit  / /
> :      ()/ / --`----'-- \ \()     /   Krab    / /
> :       ()/ /          \ \()     /   R.I.P.  / /
> :        ()/            \()     /           / /
> : ,;//;,;,(),;`         ()   ,;/,//,/,;,//,/,/,//,
> : ;,:/,;,/;,/,/,;          ;/,//;/,;,//,;/;,;,/,;/
> : /;,:/,;,/;,;,:/;       ,/,/,`;,/,:/,`,/;,/,:/,;'
> : ;/,;,/;,/,:/,/,/;"/'/",;,/;,//:/,;,/;,/,:/,;,/;`
> : '"'"'""''""'"'"''"'""'""'''''"'""""''"""'"'""'"' C.I.
> 
> 
> Happy wonderful nifty peachy-keeno Re-birthday, Kermit!
> 
> (When's the next BBQ?   Or Wake?   ,,,just wondering....)
> 
> 
> 
>  "When in danger or in doubt,
>    Run in circles, scream and shout."
>     - Anne O. Nimmus
> 
> 
> 
>  - M.Q.S., Cdr. C'mell, KPS     AKA The Lady in Green
>     
>        ~~~  USENET Thuggess ~~~
> 
>  ... and Happy Birthday to you too, Cap, whenever it may be.
> 

Just promise me Chris Farley's not coming back with him.

**
Blackhawk
Summertime and all the Krabs come home to roost, happy re-birthday Kermit!

P.S. I say BBQ.


 
Subject:    Re: Words of Wisdom (Wed 06/10/98)
From:       tlsmith@netcom.com (Terry L. Smith)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.misc,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Thu, 11 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <tlsmithEuDt4r.934@netcom.com>

Blackhawk wrote:
: In article <tlsmithEuDG3z.FLn@netcom.com>, 
: (Terry L. Smith) wrote:

: > Captain Infinity wrote:

  --> snip-a-rippin-pip-snip <-- 


: > :              \  |  /
: > :            \  ` ` `  `/
: > :          \ ` \ | | / `  /   ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
: > :        \ ` \`      ` / ' /  |    With friends     |
: > :       \` \   (+)(+)   ,-----|     like these      |
: > :       ` \     |  |   / / /  | who needs anemones? |
: > :             /      \        `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
: > :       (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
: > :         \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
: > :          \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
: > :           '-/      \-'                  /  \
: > :         ,--/        \--.           .'```````'~.
: > :        / --|        |-- \         /          \ \
: > :       / / --\      /-- \ \       /   Kermit  / /
: > :      ()/ / --`----'-- \ \()     /   Krab    / /
: > :       ()/ /          \ \()     /   R.I.P.  / /
: > :        ()/            \()     /           / /
: > : ,;//;,;,(),;`         ()   ,;/,//,/,;,//,/,/,//,
: > : ;,:/,;,/;,/,/,;          ;/,//;/,;,//,;/;,;,/,;/
: > : /;,:/,;,/;,;,:/;       ,/,/,`;,/,:/,`,/;,/,:/,;'
: > : ;/,;,/;,/,:/,/,/;"/'/",;,/;,//:/,;,/;,/,:/,;,/;`
: > : '"'"'""''""'"'"''"'""'""'''''"'""""''"""'"'""'"' C.I.
: > 
: > 
: > Happy wonderful nifty peachy-keeno Re-birthday, Kermit!
: > 
: > (When's the next BBQ?   Or Wake?   ,,,just wondering....)
: > 
: > 
: >  "When in danger or in doubt,
: >    Run in circles, scream and shout."
: >     - Anne O. Nimmus
: > 
: > 
: >  - M.Q.S., Cdr. C'mell, KPS     AKA The Lady in Green
: >     
: >        ~~~  USENET Thuggess ~~~
: > 
: >  ... and Happy Birthday to you too, Cap, whenever it may be.
: > 

: Just promise me Chris Farley's not coming back with him.

With "him" who?  Or should that be "with 'him' whom?"   Or ... uh ...
"He whom" ... "He who?"   Ferget it.  I don't think the "VAMPIRE"
covers that.  Or if it does, I'm not gettin' up & looking.

Is it Cap you don't want bringing Chris Farley along, or is it
Kermit?   Chris I can do without. but I wouldn't mind if Cap or
Ker brought Jeanette Nolan - she was one majorly cool old 
broad^H^H^H^H^babe^H^H^H^Hlady.     I'm proposing a toast to her
memory at the next BBQ/Wake.   I think I'll make the toast out of
that special Jalapeno Bread.   She'd probably approve, too -
or at least "Dirty Sally" would.   I think I'd take "Dirty Sally"
as a role model, if she'd had a few more teeth...

Just don't let Cap bring that French cat.   We've got enough to do
without patching up all those claw-marks it's likely to leave on
CapIn...

 (Extraneous Cat Remarks:  I saw a very interesting cat at the
  combination Vet/pet supply market the other day ... It was a  
  Japanese cat, rescued from the streets of some Japanese city
  by its happy owners, a nice Japanese man and his beautiful little
  girl (an articulate and intelligent child about 11 years old),
  and brought with them to the US.  The cat, named "Toma," was riding 
  along calmly, no leash or carrier, in their supermarket-style
  cart as they shopped.  The cat was affectionate and gentle,
  and had obviously been treated with much kindness by her people.
  Cat "Toma" also had the traditionally "unusual" Oriental tail -
  though not, this time, abridged, as the Japanese Bob-tails, or
  "kinked," as many early Siamese  ...  hers was full-length, but
  prehensile - she could coil it up, and could spiral it around
  the arm of a person holding her.  *great* cat.  Made me smile -
  a lot.)

: **
: Blackhawk
: Summertime and all the Krabs come home to roost, happy re-birthday Kermit!

Just don't nail their feet to the perch, okay?

: P.S. I say BBQ. 

<AOL>

Me too.

</AOL>


 "Touch me ( ...it's so easy to leave me... 
   All alone with my memories
    Of my days in the sun... )"
      - A. L. W.  (CATS)

 ( see other thread for reference )

 
 - M.Q.S., Cdr. C'mell, KPS   AKA  The Lady in Green

          *spiky* little bitch
 ...can't remember those quotes worth a dam, these days
 
-- 
*--------------------------------------------------------------------*
| M.Q.S. c/o T.L.S   | "Don't play with that! You have no idea where |
| tlsmith@netcom.com | it's been..."      -- Speaker to Elevators    |
*--------------------------------------------------------------------*



 
Subject:    I can Read AFTS Again!! ( David fights Goliath; David Wins!)
             (was Re: Kermit Krab REBORN!)
From:       WWS <wschmidt@tyler.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Fri, 12 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <3581C880.28A5@tyler.net>

This is the week that was:

I checked in on my news server late Monday, and everything was gone.
Everything.  No active feed at all.  My e-mail was going in and out
also, so I figured something bad had happened to the ISP.  Called up
Tuesday and found out the e-mail server had been spam bombed with a
13,000 piece packet, but the news was a different story.
I connect with a little ISP that used to be independant, but recently
got bought by TCA cable, as a vehicle to serve for a high speed cable
access test.  At first that seemed kewl, but it turned out that TCA
owns Jethro Bodines Vacuum Cleaner Repair Center & News Server in
Aggieville, TX, so they called my ISP and told them "Cut that Supernews
Feed!  We own us a goldarned news thingy already, and they need some
subscribers!" (can't get any on their own, don't know why)

I called the front desk, the tech desk, everybodies desk  to see if 
it was something bad on my end.  The tech people kept saying stuff
like "download the Encyclopedia Brittanica, reinstall everything,
reformat your hard drive and then call us if you have a problem". 
The 17 year old receptionist kept saying in this saccharine voice
"No one else has complained about this yet."

I could imagine her winking and smiling as she said it.

Then I could imagine her yelling
"YOU PATHETIC WHINING SHIT EXCUSE FOR A GIRLY MAN!!!"

I had decided it was hopeless.  The Man had just slipped me
a stiff one in the name of Corporate Profitability.  But I 
kept howling, I wasn't going to just lay down without a fight.

I went ISP shopping.  Found one just my style, too, you go down an
alley downtown, find a dirty cloth banner over a doorway saying
SUPERNET! and go inside, there's two rad dudes sitting there, playing
Quake.  Talked with them for a while, asked them about ISP agreements,
they looked at each other like Bill and Ted, "ISP agreement?
HAHAHAHAHA!"
You give them 20 bucks, they give you a password and a phone number
on a scrap of paper. Almost did it.

But THEN!!!

I got a call Friday AM, out of the blue.  The ISP Manager (and former
owners) wanting to apologize to me, and tell me they were very sorry,
that I wasn't the only one that complained, they had to do a test before
they knew whether this would work or not, (with their customers as
guinea pigs, I wanted to shout but gritted my teeth and acted nice)

And SUPERNEWS is back, and Jethro Bodines News Server is GONE!

YIPPEE!! Corporate Man backed DOWN! 

Kermit looked so happy that I gave him a caption fitting the occasion!


Captain Infinity wrote:


> 
>              \  |  /
>            \  ` ` `  `/
>          \ ` \ | | / `  /   ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,
>        \ ` \`      ` / ' /  |                       |
>       \` \   (+)(+)   ,-----| LITTLE GUYS WIN TOO!  |
>       ` \     |  |   / / /  |                       |
>             /      \        `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
>       (  )  \ -==- /  (  )             ^    ^
>         \    \    /    /              //\()/\\
>          \  <\/\/\/>  /              (( (  ) ))
>           '-/      \-'                  /  \
>         ,--/        \--.           .'```````'~.
>        / --|        |-- \         /          \ \
>       / / --\      /-- \ \       /   Kermit  / /
>      ()/ / --`----'-- \ \()     /   Krab    / /
>       ()/ /          \ \()     /   R.I.P.  / /
>        ()/            \()     /           / /
> ,;//;,;,(),;`         ()   ,;/,//,/,;,//,/,/,//,
> ;,:/,;,/;,/,/,;          ;/,//;/,;,//,;/;,;,/,;/
> /;,:/,;,/;,;,:/;       ,/,/,`;,/,:/,`,/;,/,:/,;'
> ;/,;,/;,/,:/,/,/;"/'/",;,/;,//:/,;,/;,/,:/,;,/;`
> '"'"'""''""'"'"''"'""'""'''''"'""""''"""'"'""'"' C.I.
> 
> **
> Captain Infinity
>  ...you can't keep a good krab down

Not if you mix beer, pibb, and bourbon all night you can't.
-- 
_______________________________________________________WWS______________________


Kermit Krab was alive again, and starting a whole new set of adventures, first leaping into WWS' post, and from there into...who knew where?

He had been dead for five months, and his effort to klaw his way out of the grave took more than two weeks to complete.

He lives even now, making an occasional appearance on alt.fan.tom-servo and other groups, and he often pops up on IRC as well, on the Undernet channel #altfantom-servo, where KPS members gather to talk, laugh, and drive each other batty.

The most fitting coda for Kermit's resurrection came from Stephen Will Tanner...


 
Subject:    Re: If a Troll flames in the woods, is the bear Catholic?
From:       dumple@execpc.com (Stephen Will Tanner)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology,alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Sun, 14 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <6m0vm0$8vs@newsops.execpc.com>

On Thu, 4 Jun 1998 02:20:14 GMT, Captain Infinity wrote:

>>There, I gave your Hensonish .sig monster a Jetsons shirt.  Now the Usenet
>>reader to my right can draw some feet
>
>Claws.  Clams have feet.

I should have been a pair of ASCII clams,
Scuttling across the floor of USENET posts.

The horror.  The horror.

I swallowed a bug.


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