Subject: Trickylazing Wackiness: Fears and Butter (was Re: My Buttery Fear) From: Jaime De Castellvi Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo Date: Thu, 2 Dec 1999 Message-ID: <Pine.GSO.email@example.com> In article <3843415A.AFE686DE@yahoo.com> Antifrance wrote at least a good full third of the following: : Jaime M De Castellvi <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote some of the following: :> Your Akashic from a previous life in which you perhaps were the victim of : butter. In a former life, you slipped on butter while holding a knife, causing in jest over your peeter in from of your date, which even sadly let to :> a decapitation in a similar context (I had a weird dream myself not : quite as stupid though). My dream was about a story my mommy told me while brushing the lint off my belly button. This followed a loo accident :> long ago, involving what I believe was the untimely death of my : bestest imaginary friend, Jake. (Jake's invisible 'cause he left his head in the can and nobody has seen him since, but I fear that he fled his :> previous physical body by way of being murdered). Perhaps somebody was : masturbating with butter and left some on the floor; you slipped and were untimely bobbitized by your own reckless hand, causing you to dread being :> decapitated in your current home, or the home which used to be there : until the evil bunnies showed up. They burrowed under a previous house and counted fat gay goats for fun but they got tired of Parkay margarine :> before your current home was built. Or perhaps repressed memories from : when the aliens shoved a big metal hoobajoob up your butt. Or something from another dimension, a peep made of organic velcro causing wet dreams during :> your childhood involving the bathroom, decapitation here being symbollic : of when they screwed up a circumcision, making you half the man you were, or at least hoped you were, before maiming yourself further. Your head stands :> for something else (the cutting of something else?), if not current : delusions of your head containing anything worth severing anyway. This causes unconscious denial and editing of this buttery slip of the blade, inducing :> anxieties about something else --symbollically represented as : a man jerking off with butter, though I don't know why that's related to your date's mock sympathy, while secretly giggling about your shlongie :> decapitation. :> :> Or perhaps it is way simpler than all that. Remember that mistake you : made while you and Dan produced gay porn together? You know the photos you took while Dan copulated with a platipus? He feared it as a feature to be :> made in your webpage, when you gave Dan de wrong sort of head (from : your ear instead of orally)? Wasn't that weird (especially from Dan's fears of you exposing a platipus affair; instead you slighted his dick from :> his point of view)? Perhaps you incurred his wrath, and he has decided to : cut off the head- of your penis! But it's gone already, so he needs a new way to regain face and gain revenge; trick you to erase the sordid jpeg and then :> get you back. Maybe he has printed a hard copy of your own pic, and is : masturbating over it, dripping melted butter everywhere, and afterwards, licking the butter as well as his buttery lips, while he fantasizes about :> using it as a voodoo link to you. May well be he's standing or sitting in : a puddle of unusually sticky butter, thinking of you strapped to a chair in utter nakedness with a taxidermized platipus on yer stump. Betcha he is in :> his living room in front of the computer right now, grinning with evil : certainty that soon your asshole will hurt more than it ever has before, with a well grooved vindaloo cucumber buried deep into it. He drools with eager :> glee and menacing a paper cut of your picture with an awful pair of : butter knives. Or maybe he'll just cut off the rest of your penis with some thought in his evil wit of feeding it to his platipus, or shredding it with :> dinosaur scissors while you're taking a crap. : --- : Brendan Dillon, Buttery Matchmaker, Master Buttery Baitor, : General Purpose God
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