Subject:    Trickylazing Wackiness: Fears and Butter (was Re: My Buttery Fear)
From:       Jaime De Castellvi
Date:       Thu, 2 Dec 1999
Message-ID: <>

In article <> Antifrance
wrote at least a good full third of the following:

: Jaime M De Castellvi <> wrote some of the following:

:> Your Akashic from a previous life in which you perhaps were the victim of

: butter. In a former life, you slipped on butter while holding a knife, causing

in jest over your peeter in from of your date, which even sadly let to

:> a decapitation in a similar context (I had a weird dream myself not

: quite as stupid though). My dream was about a story my mommy told me

while brushing the lint off my belly button.  This followed a loo accident

:> long ago, involving what I believe was the untimely death of my

: bestest imaginary friend, Jake. (Jake's invisible 'cause he left his

head in the can and nobody has seen him since, but I fear that he fled his

:> previous physical body by way of being murdered).  Perhaps somebody was

: masturbating with butter and left some on the floor; you slipped and were

untimely bobbitized by your own reckless hand, causing you to dread being

:> decapitated in your current home, or the home which used to be there

: until the evil bunnies showed up. They burrowed under a previous house

and counted fat gay goats for fun but they got tired of Parkay margarine

:> before your current home was built.  Or perhaps repressed memories from

: when the aliens shoved a big metal hoobajoob up your butt. Or something from

another dimension, a peep made of organic velcro causing wet dreams during

:> your childhood involving the bathroom, decapitation here being symbollic

: of when they screwed up a circumcision, making you half the man you were, or

at least hoped you were, before maiming yourself further.  Your head stands

:> for something else (the cutting of something else?), if not current

: delusions of your head containing anything worth severing anyway. This causes

unconscious denial and editing of this buttery slip of the blade, inducing

:> anxieties about something else --symbollically represented as

: a man jerking off with butter, though I don't know why that's related to

your date's mock sympathy, while secretly giggling about your shlongie

:> decapitation.
:> Or perhaps it is way simpler than all that.  Remember that mistake you

: made while you and Dan produced gay porn together? You know the photos you

took while Dan copulated with a platipus?  He feared it as a feature to be

:> made in your webpage, when you gave Dan de wrong sort of head (from

: your ear instead of orally)? Wasn't that weird (especially from Dan's

fears of you exposing a platipus affair; instead you slighted his dick from

:> his point of view)?  Perhaps you incurred his wrath, and he has decided to

: cut off the head- of your penis! But it's gone already, so he needs a new way to

regain face and gain revenge; trick you to erase  the sordid jpeg and then

:> get you back.  Maybe he has printed a hard copy of your own pic, and is

: masturbating over it, dripping melted butter everywhere, and afterwards,

licking the butter as well as his buttery lips, while he fantasizes about

:> using it as a voodoo link to you.  May well be he's standing or sitting in

: a puddle of unusually sticky butter, thinking of you strapped to a chair in

utter nakedness with a taxidermized platipus on yer stump.  Betcha he is in

:> his living room in front of the computer right now, grinning with evil

: certainty that soon your asshole will hurt more than it ever has before, with

a well grooved vindaloo cucumber buried deep into it.  He drools with eager

:> glee and menacing a paper cut of your picture with an awful pair of

: butter knives. Or maybe he'll just cut off the rest of your penis with some

thought in his evil wit of feeding it to his platipus, or shredding it with

:> dinosaur scissors while you're taking a crap.

: ---
: Brendan Dillon,
Buttery Matchmaker, Master Buttery Baitor,
: General Purpose God

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