Subject: Re: why is cereal so interesting? From: Infinity@world.com (Captain Infinity) Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.cereal Date: 15 Nov 1999 Message-ID: <email@example.com> Once Upon A Time, in article <firstname.lastname@example.org> terminalwriter wrote *some* of these things: >In article <email@example.com>, > Karen Brown wrote: >> >> PTD-LCI1 wrote in message >> news:firstname.lastname@example.org... >> > why is cereal so interesting? >> Well, in response to that question, the truth is...cereal isn't really very >good for you. And I am not joking! It gets scratchy when I pour it down my pants. I find oatmeal least >> interesting at all. I suspect that the real reason behind some people's >insantiy is being bored to death. The reason I have a colostomy bag trailing behind me is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! My Daddy had >> fascination and cravings for breakfast cereal, is poor blood sugar control. >> The majority of breakfast cereals are carbohydrates that break down quickly >when you pour acid on them. I have extreme problems with my bowels. No, wait! Forget I told you that, ok? I experience pleasure >> during digestion with resultant dramatic effects on the raising of blood >in my naughty bits. I have this obsession with Girl Scout Cookies. I'd like to kidnap a Girl Scout and cover her in flour & >> sugar - in other words, the glucose (sugar) in the bloodstream increases >my stupidity, by blocking oxygen to my brain. So I pass out the cookies to all my friends. YUMMY NUM NUMS! We all eat the Girl Scouts >> rapidly. The body responds by releasing a surge of insulin into the blood to >wake me back up. And while I was out someone dumped a whole bag and I cried for days. My cute li'l cookies were covered with dirt! I can't seem to >> deal with the excess sugar. If this happens regularly, the pancreas may >explode. Which always causes me to run out and buy a new colostomy bag, not to mention new pants. My Mommy would >> over-react and produce too much insulin so that it takes out more glucose >to get me high. I always drink more chocolate milk than is good for me. Once my doctor had to remove Cocoa Pebbles >> from the blood than it should - making blood sugar levels drop to a lower >appendage in my body, which in turn causes it to rise to a higher plain of consciousness. Carlos Castenada could explain it, as he was on that >> level. This starts off the circle of feeling hungry and tired - we reach for >pornos and sex toys. I desperately search for X-rated movies where the girls eat cereal and cookies. No oatmeal though, just >> something to help improve the situation (something that can be consumed >in a hot passionate frenzy. I taste my cum whenever I wash my underwear. If the cat can use her tongue, so can I! I do it >> immediately, usually sweet ie more breakfast cereal) and this just makes the >girls nuts. So I give them cereal too, which makes the cookies taste great! "EAT IT, SWEETHEART!" I yell at them. I get tipsy, my >> imbalance worse. It is a vicious circle that ends up with cravings for the >very cum which my body produces. All started by the Mormons. Those heathens! They're the ones selling tainted cocoa, the >> very foodstuff that is causing all the problems. That is why people become >junkies, because they can't get enough. So they become born-again Mormons. Like Blackhawk. I hear that he vibrates incessantly, >> obsessed with breakfast cereal. Then again, maybe we just like the >hot wild cereal orgies. Wouldn't you like a naked Girl Scout to feed Cocoa Pebbles to you, too? Sure! And not just for the >> taste....But I would be interested to hear if all those who love cereal also >would come over and have sex with me. Because I also make Cap'n Crunch sandwiches. But I only do that because Girl Scouts >> tend to crave bread... ** Captain Infinity
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