Subject:    Re: why is cereal so interesting?
From:       Infinity@world.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.cereal
Date:       15 Nov 1999
Message-ID: <383256c0.81101819@news-f.std.com>


Once Upon A Time,
in article <80k0dh$li2$1@nnrp1.deja.com>
terminalwriter wrote *some* of these things:

>In article <7vafu7$9ne$1@news7.svr.pol.co.uk>,
>  Karen Brown wrote:
>>
>> PTD-LCI1 wrote in message
>> news:3818a291$0$70834@news.voyager.net...
>> > why is cereal so interesting?
>> Well, in response to that question, the truth is...cereal isn't really very

>good for you.  And I am not

joking!  It gets scratchy when I pour it down my pants.  I find oatmeal least

>> interesting at all. I suspect that the real reason behind some people's

>insantiy is being bored to death.  The reason I have a

colostomy bag trailing behind me is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!  My Daddy had

>> fascination and cravings for breakfast cereal, is poor blood sugar control.
>> The majority of breakfast cereals are carbohydrates that break down quickly

>when you pour acid on them.  I have extreme problems

with my bowels.  No, wait!  Forget I told you that, ok?  I experience pleasure

>> during digestion with resultant dramatic effects on the raising of blood

>in my naughty bits.  I have this obsession with

Girl Scout Cookies.  I'd like to kidnap a Girl Scout and cover her in flour & 

>> sugar  - in other words, the glucose (sugar) in the bloodstream increases

>my stupidity, by blocking oxygen to my brain.  So I pass out

the cookies to all my friends.  YUMMY NUM NUMS!  We all eat the Girl Scouts

>> rapidly. The body responds by releasing a surge of insulin into the blood to

>wake me back up.  And while I was out someone dumped a whole bag and I

cried for days.  My cute li'l cookies were covered with dirt!  I can't seem to

>> deal with the excess sugar. If this happens regularly, the pancreas may

>explode.  Which always causes me to

run out and buy a new colostomy bag, not to mention new pants.  My Mommy would

>> over-react and produce too much insulin so that it takes out more glucose

>to get me high.  I always drink more

chocolate milk than is good for me.  Once my doctor had to remove Cocoa Pebbles

>> from the blood than it should - making blood sugar levels drop to a lower

>appendage in my body, which in turn causes it to rise to a higher

plain of consciousness.  Carlos Castenada could explain it, as he was on that

>> level. This starts off the circle of feeling hungry and tired - we reach for

>pornos and sex toys.  I desperately search for

X-rated movies where the girls eat cereal and cookies.  No oatmeal though, just

>> something to help improve the situation (something that can be consumed

>in a hot passionate frenzy.  I taste my cum

whenever I wash my underwear. If the cat can use her tongue, so can I!  I do it

>> immediately, usually sweet ie more breakfast cereal) and this just makes the

>girls nuts.  So I give them cereal too, which makes the

cookies taste great! "EAT IT, SWEETHEART!" I yell at them.  I get tipsy, my

>> imbalance worse. It is a vicious circle that ends up with cravings for the

>very cum which my body produces.  All started by

the Mormons.  Those heathens!  They're the ones selling tainted cocoa, the

>> very foodstuff that is causing all the problems. That is why people become

>junkies, because they can't get enough.  So they become

born-again Mormons.  Like Blackhawk.  I hear that he vibrates incessantly,

>> obsessed with breakfast cereal. Then again, maybe we just like the 

>hot wild cereal orgies.  Wouldn't you like a

naked Girl Scout to feed Cocoa Pebbles to you, too?  Sure! And not just for the

>> taste....But I would be interested to hear if all those who love cereal also

>would come over and have sex with me.  Because I also

make Cap'n Crunch sandwiches.  But I only do that because Girl Scouts

>> tend to crave bread...


** 
Captain Infinity


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