Subject: Re: He just *is* a crazy person. From: Captain Infinity Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo Date: Wed, 8 Aug 2001 Message-ID: <firstname.lastname@example.org> Lori wrote: >email@example.com (J.) wrote some of the following: > > >>This weekend was the Second Annual Barbecue At The Boss's House, > >where we all got to barbecue the boss, then on to the Nekkid Olympics, > >>hosted by yours truly, and yours truly's lovely betrothed. > > >>Among the highlights: > >("Fun With a Purpose!") > > >>Severe burns on the fingers of a PHYSICIAN after he tried to turn the > >oven on and stick his head inside. Then he attempted to sodomize the > >>Baja lime chicken skewers with his bare hands (bamboo skewers don't > >do much for me, but if I get my navel pierced it will make all the girls > >>get hot, right?) > > >>A wayward puppy playfully biting great rips through the skimpy tanktop > >I was wearing in the incriminating photos of me stealing the innocence > >>of a young intern (and we don't even live in Washington DC!). > > >>A case of Yuengling lager being slid toward and then rolled down the > >hill, through the creek, over the river and through the woods, up some > >>steps off the deck into the backyard (those boxes are tough, even if > >you put me, Hole, and Sloppy Joe inside one you couldn't break it! But > >>the bottles aren't). > > >>The Second Annual Imitate The Crazy Clients impersonation contest, won > >after a long and drawn-out battle between me and a windmill, and judged > >>by the Director of Program Development (who doesn't even have a > >drinking problem, but after watching me for 6 hours he downed an entire > >>caseload!). > > >>And. saving the best for last, during a game of Zobmondo, a case > >of paranoia set in when I went into the bathroom and overheard my > >>manager saying she'd have sex with a dog rather than a cat because > >the dogs reminded her of me. I was flattered until I remembered that > >>dogs "have bigger assholes,". > > >>...and, the Baja lime chicken skewers were quite tasty, thank you very > >kindly. You couldn't even tell that the PHYSICIAN had "handled" them too > >>much. I'd like to publicly state just why I enjoy Lori's wackylaces so much. First, there is the visual effect, the very first thing you recognize before you even begin reading the words. Lori clearly puts much effort into things that are sometimes overlooked, like making her line lengths match the original poster's. I'll bet she reworks the wording of each line several times, to make it say exactly what she wants and to get it to fit...just...right. Secondly, there is a clear (new) mental image in every interlaced line, and these are usually very vivid, such as sodomizing a chicken, piercing a navel, stealing an intern's innocence, battling a windmill, and so on. Then, she frequently interjects bits of well-known imagery ("over the river and through the woods", the "windmill" again, etc.) that can spark a momentary resonance in your memory with something that is completely outside the topic of the original post, or even the current wackylace. The effect is to skew the durn thing sideways in your mind even more than it is. And most importantly, 9 times out of 10 they're completely hilarious. Like this one. LOL! ** Captain Infinity ...double but plus too also, she's the only one who can make one of J.'s posts interesting. Hey, I'm a Gemini. Compliments, insults...what's the diff?
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