Subject:    Re: Well, this just blows loads of monkey kibble, or something...
From:       Captain Infinity 
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Tue, 22 Aug 2000
Message-ID: <39a29ecb.9054096@news-f.std.com>

Once Upon A Time,
In article <8nsjtv$s5q$1@nnrp1.deja.com>
mortisbitemedeja@my-deja.com wrote *some* of these things:

>I don't know what name this will appear under.

But...maybe my name will appear on my underwear!  In Sanskrit!

>This is the first time I've actually used Deja to

scrape away my foot fungus.  My imaginary girlfriend is too shy to

>post anything.  Anyways, it's me, Mortis, all

slimed with Jell-O.  LICK ME, I'M LIMEY!  My gay porn mag is safely

>tucked away here at college, where it appears

if you lift my mattress.  KEEP OUT OF MY PORN!  The TV ads say

>that news.gatech.edu simply blows monkey kibble

bubblefarts in the bathtub.  I'm jealous; my bubblefarts are empty

>(as referenced in the subject header).  Besides

my bed is my nite-lite, shaped like Tinky-Winky.  My Mommy bought me

>that, the damn computer store here has *yet* to

stop the transmissions into my BRANE!  I had to wear my foil hat to

>receive the computer that I ordered on *July the

4th, the day we beat the aliens!  I paid half-price 29 times but not the

>30th* (at which time I paid in full, I may add).

That was a great movie, but it needed more nude scenes of Randy Quaid.

>Anyway, I have no idea what to do now.  Not only

do I glow in the dark, I also breathe methane and fart oxygen.  Today

>am I having to work of my roomie's comp, I also

had to lick my cat clean.  mmmmYUMMY!  But since I'm unable to read, I

>don't get...well, *any* newsgroups except those

that show pictures of Japanese B&D porn.  There are a lot of them

>in the git. hierarchy, besides a few others from

Jupiter and Mars that I read telepathically.  But no nude aliens in

>rec., sci., comp. and soc..  I'm not completely

hairless; I still have one eyebrow.  Should I shave it?  I'm not

>sure yet.  Anyway, what they *don't* have is aft-

ernoon showings of "Bananas In Pajamas" here at college.  Boo!  Hisssss

>s.  As soon as I get my own computer in, I'll try

to convince local farmers that LSD is good for their cows.  I'll have

>to figure out if they'll put it on the feed, or

just suck it down themselves.  Most Usenet servers get swamped with crap

>if they even allow alt. groups.  Anyone know a

dominatrix in the NC area that gives molasses enemas?  One with a very

>good independent newsfeed?
>
>Tired and frustrated in a dorm,
>Mortis


** 
Captain Infinity
 ...welcome back, Mortis!


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