Subject:    Re: Chaste Masterbator (DT69's Licker) Message to Fandom
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv
Date:       Sun, 14 Feb 1999
Message-ID: <36cafe95.12184861@news-f.std.com>

In article <36C618D7.58766247@erols.com>
Reverend Sean O'Hara wrote *some* of these things:

>From Chaste Masterbator (Deep Throat Sixty-nine's "Licker"):
>
>I would like to thank all the fans on the internet who have attempted

suicide while watching ST:DT69 but failed because of an overwhelming urge

>to get into my pants by posting inane messages to half of usenet. 

Usenet suicide statistics plummet during the new episode season.

>Unfortunately, due to the failure of everything I've attempted outside

in the rain when naked except for the Vulcan ears I stole from the set

>of Star Trek: Deep Throat Sixty-nine, I cannot afford to fly around the

world in a hot-air balloon.  Nevertheless, I plan to walk across the

>country personally "thanking" each individual fan. Sorry, not even you

can stop me; my mind is made up.  Made up of green cheese sent to me by

>Alan. If you could afford to fly into LA, I might make arrangements, 

to have you visit my dungeon.  I'll whip your tight buns.  You can run

>but you better be fast. Once DT69 is off the air, I won't even be able

to take on any new slaves; my harem is full.  They all have to beable

>to afford the condoms.
>
>Don't worry. I shall find some other avenue for my career advancement,

perhaps the corner of 8th and Main will be open.  I need to do something

>other than continual appearances at Trek Cons as "That Cute Chick Who

Offers Three Entrances, No Waiting."  I once was called "The Slut That

>Married the Guy With Funky Ears But Wasn't as Good as Quark". For all

the good *that* did me; no business at all.  Recently I've given Cyber to

>my fans on the internet, I shall make sure Alan continues to keep you

typing with one hand while I take a quick potty break.  I keep him well

>informed of everything I do. I promise that I won't take a bowel

trophy from your shelf.  Or is that "bowling"?.  I can make a secretive

>movement without you all finding out about.
>
>There are a few companies interested in my talents. If all my fans would

donate $20 each, I'm sure I could bribe them easily.  If all you do is

>just write, showing that I already have a sizable fan base, I would be

unable to do anything; you need to SEND CASH!  I promise, my lips will be

>most grateful. The address is:
>
>	Boogie Knight Productions
>	10666 Petty Ave.
>	Modesto California, 90211

If you want to visit in person, be sure to bring large bills; hundreds.

>I would love that a lot. Thanks in advance.
>
>			---Chaste---
>
>
>
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>
>
>--   
>Reverend Sean O'Hara
>You two can be an ordained minister: http://ulc.org/ulc
>"Love is diseased." Euripides "Medea"


** 
Captain Infinity


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