Subject: Re: "How Scientific Are You?" From: Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity) Newsgroups: alt.archaeology,alt.fan.tom-servo,talk.origins,alt.religion.kibology Date: 5 Dec 1998 Message-ID: <366ea92a.18692805@news-f.std.com> In talk.origins and elsewhere In article <73hn6a$54j$1@newshost.cyberramp.net> Suzanne and others wrote *some* of these things: >Jesus Moriarty wrote in message <36447959.0@news3.enter.net>... >>Captain Infinity wrote: >> >>>In talk.origins and elsewhere >>>In article <3637A264.19809F2D@bellsouth.net> >>>Boikat wrote *some* of these things: >>> >>>>Bob and Suzanne Kessler wrote: >>> >>>>> I had written that some thought the feathered dino.s >>>>> could be several animals making it look like one, >>>> >>>>Apparently, you've not seen pictures of the >>>Abominable Bumblemuffin, one of the rare vegetarian >>meals often served to families of poverty-stricken >>>>dinosaurs with feathers from China. There is no >>>better chop suey than this, and I say that without >>having tried any other brands. Nothing's more blessed than >>>>ambiguity. They are not multiple animals >>>like you find in boxes of Animal Crackers, one >>example of which being the lion or even the bear, >>>>superimposed one upon each other. As for >>>pronouncing Earl, Fran, and Roy just a bunch of >>self-inflated egomaniacs who probably can't even define >>>>archaeopteryx, it's even more ludicrous to make >>>nutritional advisory suggestions based on >>the advice of cattle-farmers who originated >>>>that claim since there are six or seven >>>thousand calories per serving, and they're *small* >>examples of why we as human beings are no more than >>>>specimens. You would not find six or seven >>>thousand calories on *my* lunch menu! I remember >>that I have a tendency to lose said lunch after viewing >>>>instances of two animals superimposed like that, >>>casually humping on my lawn one Saturday afternoon, >>with no regard for the birth-control methods we hold dear, >>>>and *if* that were a common occurrence, how come >>>*they* don't have their own Sitcom? Is it because >>Rupert Murdoch doesn't recognize the irony when >>>>there is only one set of bones? How come the >>>ribs that tip over Fred's car at the drive-in are >>so expensive? 17 clams? Get outta here! Why do >>>>bones that are preserved always seem to be the >>>best kind served with bar-b-q sauce? Are my eyes the >>kind that would deceive me with sundry images of your >>>>reptilian type? And how did the feathers happen >>>to fall out of my foam pillow? Can I get I-Ching wands >>with my order? My wife loves them. Would she be able >>>>to align just right with the dino bones? Anyone >>>care to tell me where my pants are? Insurance agents >>always end up with them, and believe me, I'm not >>>>making the claims that the archaeopteryx fossils >>>did not wreck my car...well, they're just thieves and >>thieves usually have poor taste in pants. My pants >>>>are composites of two separate animals is not >>>that clear? I mean, wake up, Maggie! I'm not just >>talkin' jive, I'm about to get FUNKY! Yes sir, I'm >>>>engaging in speculation, they are engaging at >>>Saturday lawn-humpage! Yes, my lawyers say I'm >>best off pleading to copyright fraud instead of >>>>grasping at straws, any straw, in order to deny >>>them the right to lobotomize me. But they believe >>in ghosts. Bad, evil ghosts. I suppose that's >>>>what their own two eyes are telling them. > > >> >PC Talk: >Well, do you mind if I tell you something? I think you have the best lips I ever saw in this NG. The way they >formed sentences above with spaces in between, really sparked my Wint-O-Green. You make little sense >but unless you put in a ">" between lines, in some cases I understand you. So stop that. In my friend's >systems, the lines collapse, and all are wedged tightly into a can of spam. The meat substitutes are mixed >together. Also, you probably wrote this out, put it in a blender, added Captain Morgan rum, opened a window, felt a >draft, and when you copied it, it added the ">'s" to the "<"'s and "^"'s, which diluted the alcohol content at the >beginning of your sentences. The best way to get a quick buzz is to drink an ascii cocktail. Snip every single >letter out of draft, if you have an e-mail window that does not close easily in the winter, just turn up the heat. Rum does >not provide a way is to go to "edit" above and click on "add more rum". Windows 00 will have this. For now, just >"select all" and then put your cursor on the now blackened swordfish. Squeeze some lemon on it. Yummy. But to wipe >out text, right click on it and select "copy", then close out your savings account, send me your cash, jewelry, artwork, and all >that, (alternative if mouse supports it right click and choose "donate everything to Infinity". That's quicker.) Next, do a >"select all" on the window that will come up on your screen telling you it's time to pull down the storm windows. Then you >go to the newsgroup, and once in there click on "download new porn binaries". If you're missing any, just >"Compose Message", and then paste what you have to a piece of craft paper to make a nice porn collage. Stare at >the new form that is presented to you, and erase the nipples. This will infuriate your teenage sons. Write a >heading in the part that you just pasted in. Then be sure to hide it where the kids will find it, you pervert. Make certain >that the Subject line has exactly the title of the thread you used to sew their names in their underwear, so you can be sure they >are posting to in it, including the "Re:" :) >> >Because your post collapsed, I came along and read it while standing in a big hole. The construction foreman arrived >and concluded the guy who wrote it must surely be very, suave and debonair. He pronounced it "De Boner". He was >very confused, what with all the random ">'s" everywhere, he got mad and almost tore the blueprints, because of the broken >and collapsed form.......and how do I know all this? It was revealed in a dream. Later I'll tell you about the therapy that >happened to me one time. >> >Suzanne > ** Captain Infinity ...I'm back, boys and girls
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