Subject:    Re: Telepaths reading minds of animals
From:       Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5,alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.religion.kibology
Date:       Mon, 1 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <35740c45.46598418@news-f.std.com>

In rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5
In article <1998053119121400.PAA17173@ladder01.news.aol.com>
CAPaliwoda wrote *some* of these things:

>Sir, they can not only read the minds of animals, today they are conquering the

brains of insects.  Tomorrow they'll conquer bacteria.  After that, the

>minds of humans, as the following story indicates:
>
>THE PROBLEM:
>I wish to report the commission of atrocities (or very foul misdeeds) in the

bathtub of my second-floor washroom.  My soiled washcloths were shipped to

>Maple Heights, Ohio area (a suburb of Cleveland, USA) using a form of

overnight parcel service I've never seen before.  The courier practiced

>radiation-based mind control.   A criminal gang is entrapping and torturing

hamsters and gerbils, and "towel-snapping" them.  They killed all the other

>victims with radiation bombardment (deliberately trying to produce brain

cramps that make them run *backwards* on the wheel!  Imagine the whiplash

>injuries), electronic rape, transmission of rabid screech "voices" (sound

ing much like Slim Whitman and Tiny Tim combined) (not to mention sexual

>simulation being possible), round-the-clock force-fed verbal communications,

feeding them generic Hamster Chow past the expiration date, alcohol

>and  drug effects (transferred from drug users who are apparently on

vacation in Jamaica...and you know the kind of kickass pot *there*) and

>amphetamines, coke, etc.--at intentionally uncomfortable levels in order to

make sure they don't get silly and goofy and doidy!  (They prefer to

>stress victims into nervous breakdowns).    Victims are kept debilitated with

repeated showings of "Grey 17 is Missing" and "A Very Brady Sequel".  Also

>chronic radiation poisoning which is at times similar in potency to nerve- (or

is that spelled "Neve"?) Campbell's acting.  They also "let one rip" (or

>minimally tear-)  gas in terms of being a hazardous biological agent, except

they never ever say "pull my finger" first!  These animal terrorists know

>that the effects are more directable to the specific target.  The levels are

twisty and knobby, like a HabiTrail gone mad!  Hallucinogenic downers are

>periodically upped to that point whenever the predators deem it necessary to

squeeze out "psychedelic pellets" for sale in Jersey.  They know how to

>keep their prey in thrall, or to achieve a desired end.  This is in effect

complete subjugation of tiny wiggly-nosed hamsters! I discovered this with

>electronic telepathy--being used for nothing but deleterious purposes, however

I needed to find out where my Mugwump went!  He was very important to me

>(for the implementation of torture).   The signal can be transmitted to victims

or friends and family...for only 10 cents a minute!  You can broadcast

>from  incredible distances with accuracy, it is impossible to evade, and there

are no hidden costs!  Sign up today!  I'll put your name on my list...it

>is a large army of persons engaged in the stalking (7 days, 24 hours--with

coffee breaks every four hours) of various Usenet personalities.  (We have

>unbelievable tenacity).   There is probable usage of satellite tracking,

laser missiles, walkie-talkies, water guns, tinfoil hats, Druid cloaks, all

>augmented by ground-based weapons, making escape difficult (surmising the means

to be sheets tied together & thrown out the window of the asylum.  This

>is theoretical, based on prolonged experience).   I have been tortured without

pain since I discovered K-Y jelly.  My gerbils all love me.  I've refused to

>relent for 26 years now, around the clock, by perverts who never stop preying

on my widdle wiggle-noses, daddy wuvs you, don't he?  But I'll NEVER sit

>on their victim.  It is the length of the wait-out which constitutes the

worst part of my ordeal.  Stealing my washcloths...that was their final

>atrocity.   They are sadists who do all in their power to inflict suffering on

my widdle snuggle-bunny snookie wookums.  HELP ME!  Mugwump is one of their

>victims, in a way that is senseless--constantly engaging in psychological and

psychiatrical therapy! "What do you see in this inkblot?"  It's worse than

>physical abuse.   They latch on to a victim and never thereafter permit prey to

take a shower without them watching...with no washcloths! Dammit, I refuse to

>experience full consciousness, denying freedom of thought and basic human

functions.  Screw the bathroom, I'll poop in my bed!  HA!  I know my bloody

>rights.  Packs of thugs gang up on helpless individuals with laser weapons and

bubble-gum bombs and paper knives!  Try to paper cut me, will you!  Just

>try to administer brain damage, to knock the victim's brains out, so to speak. 

I'll fight back!  My friends are all here, signing up!  Joining me!  HA HA!

>An army of them surround the victim from hidden locations, generating shrieking

noises with handheld blades of grass!  We'll fight you!  We'll beat you!

GIVE ME BACK MY WIDDLE MUGWUMP!  GIVE ME BACK MY TOWELS!  YOU BASTARDS!


** 
Captain Infinity


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