Subject:    Re: Telepaths reading minds of animals
From: (Captain Infinity)
Date:       Mon, 1 Jun 1998
Message-ID: <>

In article <>
CAPaliwoda wrote *some* of these things:

>Sir, they can not only read the minds of animals, today they are conquering the

brains of insects.  Tomorrow they'll conquer bacteria.  After that, the

>minds of humans, as the following story indicates:
>I wish to report the commission of atrocities (or very foul misdeeds) in the

bathtub of my second-floor washroom.  My soiled washcloths were shipped to

>Maple Heights, Ohio area (a suburb of Cleveland, USA) using a form of

overnight parcel service I've never seen before.  The courier practiced

>radiation-based mind control.   A criminal gang is entrapping and torturing

hamsters and gerbils, and "towel-snapping" them.  They killed all the other

>victims with radiation bombardment (deliberately trying to produce brain

cramps that make them run *backwards* on the wheel!  Imagine the whiplash

>injuries), electronic rape, transmission of rabid screech "voices" (sound

ing much like Slim Whitman and Tiny Tim combined) (not to mention sexual

>simulation being possible), round-the-clock force-fed verbal communications,

feeding them generic Hamster Chow past the expiration date, alcohol

>and  drug effects (transferred from drug users who are apparently on

vacation in Jamaica...and you know the kind of kickass pot *there*) and

>amphetamines, coke, etc.--at intentionally uncomfortable levels in order to

make sure they don't get silly and goofy and doidy!  (They prefer to

>stress victims into nervous breakdowns).    Victims are kept debilitated with

repeated showings of "Grey 17 is Missing" and "A Very Brady Sequel".  Also

>chronic radiation poisoning which is at times similar in potency to nerve- (or

is that spelled "Neve"?) Campbell's acting.  They also "let one rip" (or

>minimally tear-)  gas in terms of being a hazardous biological agent, except

they never ever say "pull my finger" first!  These animal terrorists know

>that the effects are more directable to the specific target.  The levels are

twisty and knobby, like a HabiTrail gone mad!  Hallucinogenic downers are

>periodically upped to that point whenever the predators deem it necessary to

squeeze out "psychedelic pellets" for sale in Jersey.  They know how to

>keep their prey in thrall, or to achieve a desired end.  This is in effect

complete subjugation of tiny wiggly-nosed hamsters! I discovered this with

>electronic telepathy--being used for nothing but deleterious purposes, however

I needed to find out where my Mugwump went!  He was very important to me

>(for the implementation of torture).   The signal can be transmitted to victims

or friends and family...for only 10 cents a minute!  You can broadcast

>from  incredible distances with accuracy, it is impossible to evade, and there

are no hidden costs!  Sign up today!  I'll put your name on my

>is a large army of persons engaged in the stalking (7 days, 24 hours--with

coffee breaks every four hours) of various Usenet personalities.  (We have

>unbelievable tenacity).   There is probable usage of satellite tracking,

laser missiles, walkie-talkies, water guns, tinfoil hats, Druid cloaks, all

>augmented by ground-based weapons, making escape difficult (surmising the means

to be sheets tied together & thrown out the window of the asylum.  This

>is theoretical, based on prolonged experience).   I have been tortured without

pain since I discovered K-Y jelly.  My gerbils all love me.  I've refused to

>relent for 26 years now, around the clock, by perverts who never stop preying

on my widdle wiggle-noses, daddy wuvs you, don't he?  But I'll NEVER sit

>on their victim.  It is the length of the wait-out which constitutes the

worst part of my ordeal.  Stealing my washcloths...that was their final

>atrocity.   They are sadists who do all in their power to inflict suffering on

my widdle snuggle-bunny snookie wookums.  HELP ME!  Mugwump is one of their

>victims, in a way that is senseless--constantly engaging in psychological and

psychiatrical therapy! "What do you see in this inkblot?"  It's worse than

>physical abuse.   They latch on to a victim and never thereafter permit prey to

take a shower without them watching...with no washcloths! Dammit, I refuse to

>experience full consciousness, denying freedom of thought and basic human

functions.  Screw the bathroom, I'll poop in my bed!  HA!  I know my bloody

>rights.  Packs of thugs gang up on helpless individuals with laser weapons and

bubble-gum bombs and paper knives!  Try to paper cut me, will you!  Just

>try to administer brain damage, to knock the victim's brains out, so to speak. 

I'll fight back!  My friends are all here, signing up!  Joining me!  HA HA!

>An army of them surround the victim from hidden locations, generating shrieking

noises with handheld blades of grass!  We'll fight you!  We'll beat you!


Captain Infinity

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