Subject:    Re: Midnight Shifts, the GODDAMNED NBA, and CRAPASS TNT
From: (Captain Infinity)
Date:       Sun, 4 Jul 1999
Message-ID: <>

Once Upon A Time In,
In article <>
Justin A. Hussel wrote *some* of these things:

>Well, first of all I don't cling to my job because it's a night job, I

cling because of static electricity.  My job is making balloon animals. I 

>cling to it because it's a good job; because it's the kind of work I

can do in my underwear.  Or your underwear.  GIVE ME YOUR UNDERWEAR!  I

>want to be doing for plenty of money to pay my bills and have a lot of

spare change I can refuse to give to the homeless.  This will leave some

>spending money left over.  I love sitting in front of a computer on the

porch, in your underwear, drinking Mai Tais.  I like to have sex on the

>phone all day or night in a completely relaxed setting where I can wear

women's panties on my head.  I can shave my head, or my armpits, or

>whatever I want and have my hair down and talk to collegues between

sips.  YUMMY!  HEY MAGGIE, POUR ME ANOTHER ONE!  I make obscene phone

>calls when it's slow and getting paid good $ for it.  Better than

real sex...that's what my wife says, anyway.  My previous life was

>stressing my ass off in an office all day or doing anything else I hate

as much as bathing.  KnowhatImean?  Standing there, under warm water...

>that saps so much of my life and effort that I don't have the time or

desire to get fully dressed.  That why I need your underwear.  I have no

>energy to spend on anything I actually WANT to do or enjoy.  The only

thing I want to do is make a balloon bazooms for you. All the rest of the

>jobs I'd ever rather be doing revolve around my fantasy sci-fi series

starring balloon animals as major characters, the spaceships, the planets

>and world; writing, movies/tv, game-design, voice-acting . . . but none

of the studios will let me in wearing panties.  &%!#* BASTARDS!  Some

>of those are something you just dive right into or anything I'll be

right behind you, help a guy out, okay?  sAY wHAT?  I want/need to be

>making a living with anytime soon.  And even when i think of any of

my favorite actresses in *their* underwear, I never manage to steal

>them, I wonder just how much the stress would be worth it just for a

pair of panties, or maybe a nice bra, or a balloon poodle to make me a

>little extra spending $$$?

Captain Infinity
 ..."Gravity is a pain in the bazooms.  I didn't get the Super Deluxe
  Anti-Gravity Titulator like I should have, but I did finally replace
  my Hormone Flux Positron Boosters with Caffeine-Induced Hysteria, which
  came with a free Gimme Chocolate or Die mini-utility in the package."
                                                    --The Avocado Avenger

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