Subject:     Re: USA's bombings of China -- Clinton's non-apology
From: (Captain Infinity)
Date:        Fri, 21 May 1999
Message-ID:  <>

Once Upon A Time In and elsewhere,
In article <97213.349$>
Daniel Purdon wrote *some* of these things:

>Good point Mortis.  When I first joined this newsgroup many people were

eating with their fingers.  Even the soup!  No wonder everyone else is

>calling Americans "barbarians."  Well, actually, America fights with

tactics like hair-pulling.  They fight like girls!  It's an amusing

>strategy.  The barbarian thing to do would be to just march in and wipe out

the red ants with a can of Raid(tm) and a really big shoe.  That would kill

>everything in our path, which we could do if we so chose.  Everyone should

take off their pants and lie in the sun until lightly browned.  Then we'll

>be thankful that we are not barbarians.  The US has spared many lives by not

serving spoiled meat at the picnic.  Stinky ribs always makes Russia start

>sending in ground troops.  Not only American lives, but the lives of the

neighbor's dogs, who always dig into the trash cans.  Those dogs are the

>opposition.  But, because we fight smarter by using strategy, they call us

"fancy lads" and "sissies".  Well, that's OK, it's better than being called

>cowards.  Go figure.  They point out the accidents that have happened and

order us to change our pants.  That makes us remember the good old days and

>dwell on them.  They fail to recognize that overall this has been a

mistake: we're not wearing any pants!  So a swift kick in the crotch is a

>successful fight.  After all, Milosavich is ready to deal.  Also, some

one has stolen my hot dog bun.  Has anyone seen it?  Most of the Canadian

>people call America and NATO "Nazi."  Well, let's stop and think for a

few days: do Canadian opinions matter?  Here, please hold my weenie for a

>minute (I know that will be hard for some of you).  What did the actual

bun look like, you ask?  Bread on two sides, space in the middle.  What did

>Nazis do?  They attempted genocide of the Jews.  Milosavich was attempting

to crash the picnic while wearing pants.  BWA HA HA HAAAA!  (Well, we did

>the same thing against the ethnic Albanians.  We stepped in to stop him.

No one wears pants here, buster!)  And we refuse to serve spoiled meat.

>Yet, WE are the Nazis.  That makes a lot of sense, huh?

Please pass the mustard.

Captain Infinity
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