Subject:    Re: YUMme update
From:       Blackhawk
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo
Date:       Tue, 23 Nov 1999
Message-ID: <openbook-2311991801290001@ppp-asfm02--097.sirius.net>

In article <383ad7c5.9641804@news-f.std.com>, 
Captain Infinity wrote *some* of these things:

> THANK YOU Mr. HOLE!  YOU ARE MY FAVORITE WEBTVer!  PLEASE LOL AT MORE OF MY
LAME REMARKS!1!! CUM SEE WHAT A CUNNING LINGUIST I ALREADY AM IN THESE
> POSTS, I WILL KISS YOU LONG TIME!
> 
> I would just like to announce that I think the "YUMme update" wackylace is
flawed because I didn't sign it "Black Cap", if I did this would have made it
> one of my BESTEST EVER!!  It makes me laff and laff to think of Blackheads 
on my ass, I need to get out more often. I think I'll call Mr. Hole, maybe
> blackjacking his mom upside the noggin and stuffing her into the stewpot,
will cause him to take "stock" in me again. I fantasize about him kissing me,
> then bending over a mirror to snort some blow up his nose.  HA! HA! HA!
> 
(snip)
> 
> I think this wackylace deserves some kind of special recognition, so I
was happy until I saw the only follow-up to this note was from Dan. Still, I
> suggest that everyone who laughed at it should forward it to
to a friend. then there could be *three* of us! Send your follow-ups to
> alt.humor.best-of-usenet.  And then send me money.  I like the new crisp
feeling of money jammed in my ass. I haven't been so stimulated since my
> twenties.  (But no quarters; I'm sick of seeing the buns on the backside of
the toilet shitting copper. This problem is really much worse if you use
> the Georgia quarters.  PR0NOGRAPHIC! it is.)
> 
> I would also like to announce that the other day I had a series of PC
GIF's of naked dogs eating Mr. Holes cookies. The ejaculate caused a series of
> crashes that trashed much of my aft-s archive; I lost approximately 8000
SPAMS offering HOT SEXXXX ON THE NET!!! This is the result of all those alt.sex
> posts.  Everything from middle-May to present was poofed (and that includes
the times I was poofing the infamous "Sweet Ebony Ass" last mentioned in
> Cronan's last posts, the announcement of his passing, and the remembrances.)
> This has bummed me out big time.  I'm glad that Brendan has put together
a posse to hunt my ass down. All those good vigilante tactics and he has
> such an excellent website about Cronan.
I want to bear his children.
> 
> This crash also affected my own website, because I was in the middle of
masturbating and everything has a sort of white film on it, this happened whilst
> updating my wackylace page, on and off.  If you have posted a wackylace in
the last week thats good for masturbating, I want it. If you've done one in
> the last six months and want it included on my wackylace page, you'll need
to know how to get inside my "inbox" (giggle), take the time with your weenie
> to forward it to me from your outbox.  I do have a lot of overlap for that
weenie cause my "IB" has "urgency" settings IYKWIM! I often sleep during the
> time period on the newsreader in at work, but working on my webpage while at
"Master Bates" is hard to hide from my cow orkers, this can mean that often my
> work is a tricky proposition.
> 
> I would also like to announce that, unlike this same time last year, I AM
NO LONGER DRESSING IN WOMEN'S CLOTHES! I'M AMAZED MR. HOLE AND I ARE
> NOT IN A MENTAL INSTITUTION!  YAY!  GIMME A HIGH FIVE!  WOO HOO HOO!
> 
> I would also like to announce that I do not have any binary photos of myself
shitting copper into the toilet or masturbating while working on my web site
> (except the ones that appear on Chris Masto's ARKPLE page) so for now Hole's
phone sex stories about elephants and peanut butter told while I look at my
> photo of Francis Ford Coppola will have to suffice.  I do look a little like
an asshole with dentures. Like Harrison Ford...at 80...naked...the back side of
> him, just not as harsh looking.  I have softer edges.  Plus, he looks drunk
most of time even though he's sober. I often look drunk, but I really am
> in that photo, while I merely look wired.  Imagine Coppola staring at you
saying "Dammit the name is Coppola, copulate, from the Latin copulatus"
> with his hair sticking out, shouting BWA HA HA HAAAAA!, and that'll be me.
> 
> I would also like to announce that I just squashed a mosquito.
But we're leaving my mother out of this.
> 
> That's all the announcements I have for now.  Thank you for your time.

***
Blackhumor


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