Subject: Captain Infinity's review of "Mind War" From: Captain Infinity Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5.moderated Date: 1998/01/12 Message-ID: <firstname.lastname@example.org> PREFACE: I never saw "Mind War" during its first run. In fact, for those keeping score (no one) I never saw *any* of Babylon 5's first season. I, like untold millions of others, gave up on the series after the first thirty minutes of the original broadcast of the pilot, so many miles ago, so many heartbeats ago. OK. That was a mistake. _Mea culpa_. It was an error I deeply regret, and have since the first B5 episode I *did* see, "A Race Through Dark Places" which, as you know, guest starred Walter Koenig...just like "Mind War". END OF PREFACE. BEGINNING OF REVIEW: The "Golden Banana" is a dance club on Route 1 in Peabody, Massachusetts. ("Dance Club"...Ha. Sorry, that's an uncharacteristic euphemism for me. It's a strip joint, a place where men drink beer...and watch women take their clothes off while gyrating to music.) Once Upon A Time it was a marginally sleazy place. I say "marginally" because it was at a point where if someone with a vision and a willingness to spend a bit of cash came along, it could become a fairly classy joint. Well, at some point that person came along, because it is now a fairly classy joint. Instead of the two huge speakers that used to bookend the single stage/runway, blasting their music into the whole building in order to fill the joint with rhythmic pulsations, it now has smaller, better speakers set at strategic places throughout the room, allowing for legible conversation while still providing music to every corner. The floor has been redesigned; it now has slightly elevated levels, allowing the patrons to see over the heads of the schlubs seated in front of them. While the main runway remains, it has been supplemented by three "bird cages", one in each open corner, on each of the elevated platforms. The fourth corner houses the bar...which now has a "mini-runway" placed inside it. So there are always 5 girls dancing at any time, and you are never far away from any particular show. The open pool table room is mostly unchanged. The decor of the place has been upgraded. Better spotlighting, better runway lighting, more lighted signs advertising brands of beers. Better lit overall, not nearly as dank as it used to be. Where once they only offered slices of greasy pizza, they now have a good little kitchen, and sell a few sandwiches, appetizers like chicken wings and potato skins, and greasy pizza. Anyway...what was I talking about? Oh, yeah, Babylon 5. Tonight I had to set my VCR to tape B5, because night classes started tonight. Class was...surprising. The instructor is a gorgeous young woman. She is about 5'5", with a head of hair that is stunning and her most outstanding feature...besides the quick and impressive mind that becomes apparent as soon as she starts speaking. Bright BRIGHT red hair, long and flowing, to about halfway down her back. At least 18" of hair waving down over her shoulders and over her back. Very attractive physically, as well. And intelligent. Did I mention Stop Light RED? Oh, BTW...she's married, and haS two 15-year-old boys. SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH! "Stop light" is right, yes? So after class I did what any red-blooded heterosexual male would do in my situation...chatted her up. We talked about computers, science fiction, Star Trek, Babylon 5, Deep Space 9, the space shuttle, the Mars mission. She's a big SF fan, and likes DS9. I prefer B5. So we had a lively conversation. For about 25 minutes. She even touched my arm at one point, to emphasize what she was saying. Yoicks. But eventually the conversation ended and she went home to her husband and kids. Urgh. Well, since it was the first day of class, class was short. If I hurried, I still had time to rush home and catch the show. So I went to the Golden Banana. Well, of course! I had my VCR set, what the hell. Right? Right? Well...interesting things sometimes happen, y'know?. While nursing my second beer, I noticed the TV screens. Normally I don't watch the TV screens at the Banana. Who goes to a strip club to watch TV? Three TV's. Two are the box kind, like you have on your TV stand, but BIG! They're suspended from the ceiling. These two were showing a hockey game. The third is a big-screen projection TV, over by the DJ, opposite the bar. It has about a 10-foot diagonal. Stereo speakers on either side. Guess what was showing on *this* screen? Yep. Babylon 5! Woo Hoo! So I guess at this point you're wondering how I liked the episode? How should I know? I was watching girls take their clothes off, hoping for a red-headed dancer. I'll let you know tomorrow, after I watch the tape. ** Captain Infinity
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