OK, so there's this Usenet group called alt.out-of-body. The people who post here believe
that they are able to leave their physical bodies and float around, having adventures.
OOBE's. Out Of Body Experiences.

These people are nuts.

So I thought I'd have some fun...

Subject:    Re: Aliens blowing up the Lucidity Institute
From:       Captain Infinity
Date:       Mon, 10 Aug 1998 23:54:10 GMT
Message-ID: <35d48291.5489711@news-f.std.com>

In alt.out-of-body
In article <01bdb987$858ee560$92b2d1d1@default>
Suki wrote:

>That Novadreamer had better get here pdq. I'm remembering almost nothing of
>my dreams recently, and that's incoherent and never lucid. I've tried
>taking kava kava root and melatonin before bed; I end up remembering longer
>incoherent dreams. I can't seem to force myself to write them down, either.
>My dream journal is nearly two weeks behind. Maybe I'd better stop reading
>so much science fiction and concentrate on finishing "The Interpretation of

I had this same Problem so I know what You are Going Through.  I worked
through it with the help of my Life Mate(tm) and maybe You can as well.

First, You are correct; Science Fiction can be a major Destabilizing Force
in Your life, especially if You let it Overwhelm other aspects of Your
day-to-day existence which require Concentration and Care.  But I will not
lecture You, You already seem to be on the correct Path.

My Life Mate(tm) and I devised a system where, whenever one of Us would
experience the Dream, and Awaken with the Knowledge of visiting that Other
Plane, the Other would become Aroused as well and serve as Transcriber Of
The Dream, offering no Judgement or prodding, merely serve as a sounding
board for the Experience as dictated by the Other.  Being thisway Freed of
the Focusing Constraints of pen and paper allowed the Dreamer to recall more
and tune more Deeply into the Dream Realm just experienced.

Try this with Your Life Mate(tm).  You may find that Your Memory opens like
a vast flower reaching Into unimagined vistas.

>Now for some righteous indignation; I ordered the Novadreamer over a month
>ago now, and the Lucidity Institute may as well have diappeared off the
>face of the earth, from all the response I'm getting from them. I've
>emailed them, called them on the phone, and complained loudly in certain
>newsgroups (hee, hee, hee) but it's like they've shut down for the summer
>or something, aside from an occasional posting of the FAQ.
>Hmmm... The most coherent parts of recent dreams always seem to involve
>aliens blowing up what appears to be a college campus...

Many unseen 4orces are at work on Earth at this time, and what You have
envisioned is truly Prophetic.  I, too, have had Emotionally Charged Dreams
about college campuses and explosions.  There may be a Link between us.
This is worth Investigating.  If Humankind as a whole is experiencing a
worldwide rash of Dreams in which the Destruction of Places of Higher
Education is a common thread, there may be Significant Meaning in these
symbols which may contain Warnings for Us as a Species.

Perhaps it may be Time to mobilize a consortium to study this.  I will
contact my senator Tomorrow, and suggest You do the same, as should Anyone
who Dreams of Exploding Schoolrooms.

>-Suki the Probably Perpetually Peeved
>PS- On the plus side, the fish bowl and sweatsuit I ordered TWO weeks ago
>are here.

That is good news, in that it is a Positive Incident on Your Life.  I am
happy for You.  My pets are American Eskimo dogs; they have thick coats, and
refuse to wear the sweaters I made for them.  I am Glad to hear You have had
better Success with Your fish.

With all Good Wishes,
Captain Infinity

Subject:    Re: Aliens blowing up the Lucidity Institute
From:       Captain Infinity
Date:       Wed, 12 Aug 1998 13:46:54 GMT
Message-ID: <35d392e5.3064908@news-f.std.com>

In article <35D12B29.6C5B69E@pop.slkc.uswest.net>
Beth wrote:

>Julia Hawkes-Moore wrote:
>> >  I am not sure what you mean by opening to channel.  Is that where you allow another
>> >spirit to talk through you?
>> >>Beth
>>   Basically, yes, although it does get a lot more complex. I'm
>> attending a course on it in October. But as you are receiving accurate
>> predictions of the future, it seems as though a powerful guide or
>> angel is trying to alert you to its presence within you. If you wanted
>> to explore that possibility, you could end up channeling important
>> information.
>Thanks for the info.  I will search this out.  Possibly my other OOBE friend here, who has
>had many experiences, can help guide me to what I need to do.

Forgive Me, My Friends...I am not normally One to presume to give Others
advice, for I feel that few of Us truly have any answers to the Questions of
Life, and that We are All Together in the Mystery...but I have had experience
with this situation, and feel I must warn Others as to its Dangers.

I personally have never had a simultaneous Chanelling/OOB experience
("ChOOBE"?), but My Life Mate(tm) has, several times.  The first few times
were non-remarkable, and even enjoyable for Her.  I, as the Transcriber of
the Event, recorded Her revelations as quickly as I could (She was speaking
quickly, I was getting Writer's Cramp...perhaps We should get one of those
little dictation recorders?)

Little of what She had to Say was interesting or important, so We spent very
little time trying to decipher It, and eventually ignored It.  What was
Interesting, and what I wish to Point Out, was what happened the Fourth time
the ChOOBE occurred:

We had been unable to determine Who the Spirit was that My Life Mate(tm) was
channeling while She was OOB, and, as I said, the Revelations were dull.  So
the fourth time it Happened, I just rolled over to go back to Sleep, rather
than waste My Own Dreaming Time performing as Transcriber of the Boring
Event.  The Spirit inhabiting My Life Mate(tm) must have taken Offense at My
reaction, because She immediately began Kicking Me in the Small of MY Back.

I quickly defended MySelf by hitting her with My Pillow, which knocked Her
off the Bed.  She fell onto one of the Dogs who, startled, reactively bit Her
on the Ankle.  The sudden Pain immediately Recalled my Life Mate(tm) into Her
body, forcing the Spirit out.  However, She was unsteady on Her feet, and
fell against the bookcase by the bed, causing It to topple.  Heavy books fell
on all of Us, including an enormous volume of The Collected Works of Piers
Anthony, which hit Me on My head, and caused a concussion.  I was
hospitalized for a day and a half.

So if I may Humbly offer any advice to Those of You who are considering OOBE
during the Dream Time as a method of Channeling, it would be this:

1) If You are the Transcriber of the Event, do not shirk Your Responsibility.
2) Keep a glass of cold water handy, as an Event Ending Device.
3) Use the cold water at the first sign of violence from the Visiting Spirit.
4) Make the Dogs sleep downstairs.
5) Stay away from Piers Anthony books.

Captain Infinity

Subject:    Re: Aliens blowing up the Lucidity Institute
From:       Captain Infinity
Date:       Sat, 15 Aug 1998 21:25:08 GMT
Message-ID: <35f4f7a6.22609219@news-f.std.com>

In article <6r4k6p$b8h$2@camel29.mindspring.com>
Riboflavin wrote:

>Captain Infinity wrote in message <35d43074.1286136@news-f.std.com>...
>>In article <iIdNIDA0W$01Ew4J@valdena.demon.co.uk>
>>AST wrote:
>>>So, which is it U take? B5 or B4?  :@)
>>He would Have to be Taking B5, because Sinclair took B4.
>Look here, "Captain Infinity" (if that's your real name), I'm getting damn
>tired of you and your pals here maligning the reputation of the B family.

>In short, cease your insulting and abusive behavior IMMEDIATELY or you'll
>find out what kind of things we keep stockpiled in the B-complex. I can
>assure you it will not be a pleasant experience for you and your ilk.

Dear Mr. Flavin,

I most Profusely Apologize for bringing forth in You such an Extreme
Emotional Reaction.  It was not My intention to insult You or Your Family
of Bees.

I'll have You Know that I have the Greatest Respect for Bees.  They amaze
Me, the way They work so continuously and tirelessly, flitting from Flower
to Flower, collecting Their...well, whatever it is They collect, I seem to
have Forgotten right now...and fertilizing the Flowers.

I am especially awed by Those members of Your family who are Bumblers.
Science says They cannot fly, that Their wings cannot possibly lift such
awkward bodies.  Yet There they are, buzzing through the Air, and into My
dog's Mouth, and stinging Her tongue, which swells up and gags Her, which
makes Me drive hastily to the animal hospital so that She will not die.

But I don't hold That against You, because such things are Offset by the
other wonders that Bees bring us, such as when Bees are ground up and
processed into vitamins.  

Tonight, when I enter the Dream Realm, I will attempt to project myself OOB
and into a field of Flowers where You and Your Family live, so that I may
Perceive You through My Ethereal Eyes, and marvel at Your Wondrous Dance in

May Kindness and Love and All Manner of Goodness Fill Your World,
Captain Infinity

Subject:    Re: HOW TO HAVE AN OOBE
From:       Captain Infinity
Date:       Fri, 14 Aug 1998 00:38:55 GMT
Message-ID: <35d5849e.6626881@news-f.std.com>

In alt.out-of-body
In article <6qlueb$l65$1@fir.prod.itd.earthlink.net>

>First, go to the top of a really tall building and jump out the window. The
>first thing you will notice is the sensation of flight. Spread your arms out
>and flap them as hard as you can. It's really exhilerating, and usually ends
>in an NDE. The only drawback to this method is that it usually can only be
>done once.

Please, to All My Friends...do not Listen to this Person!  This is a Very
Dangerous thing that is being suggested Here, and could well be Fatal!  Many
People have Died by doing just what He is suggesting.  Do Not Do It!

The "top of a really tall building" is no place for an OOBE, unless You have
an apartment there and are in Your bedroom.  You certainly should not "jump"
from one, for, as I am sure "Anonymous" knows, there is a thing called
"Gravity" which can be a *dangerous* thing if ignored in the wrong places by
Someone Who is not an Absolute Master(tm) of Levitation.

I apologize if I have overstepped My Bounds in posting this Advice, but in
the time I have been Lurking Here I feel that I have come to Know and Care
for You All, and I would not wish for Anyone to be hurt.  Stick to the
locales You are familiar and Comfortable with...like your Bedroom or a
Sitting Room or in the Bathtub...there is no Need to travel to achieve an
OOBE, and certainly not to the top of tall buildings.

Take Care, My Friends,
Captain Infinity

Subject:    Re: Place of Colors
From:       Captain Infinity
Date:       Fri, 14 Aug 1998 14:15:58 GMT
Message-ID: <35dd4334.6087033@news-f.std.com>

In alt.out-of-body
In article <6qlm5k$5t4@sjx-ixn1.ix.netcom.com>
Bart Scott wrote:

>In <1998081001501800.VAA08725@ladder01.news.aol.com>
>(StoneLvr) writes: 
>>Bart wrote:
>>>I haven't done much study on Hindu philosophy, but I should.  
>>I had a Hindu friend that introduced me to Sayetha Sai Baba, He's a
>>guru among the hindu and is  revered as godlike as one can get.  
>>Millions flock just to see the sight of him.  I cannot remember the
>>book I was given to read on him but he is on the web.  It was amazing
>>the abilities this man had and the lengths the people would go just to
>>be in his presence.  As far as I know he is still alive.
>I did a search but it came up with no results.  Got any
>By the way... did you know that Padre Pio has been dead for 30 years
>and an average of 5 million people STILL visit his tomb annually?  Plus
>people are still claiming miracles and smelling his perfume when
>something very unusual happens.
>I'm very interested in saints with amazing stories surrounding them. 
>Some I don't believe in at all, but I would like to know a bit more
>about Sayetha Sai Baba if you can direct me.

Sathya Sai Baba has had a Profound Effect on My life, although I have never
met Him.  He is responsible for providing the Impetus to Go On to one of My
Personal Heroes: Art Clokey.  

Mr. Clokey has had a Direct Impact on My Development As A Human Being, and
although I have never met Him, and never will, I owe much of what I Am and
Strive To Be to Him.

Had not Mr. Clokey made the journey to visit Sathya Sai Baba, his Own
destiny would have been altered, thereby altering not only Mine but that of
Millions, perhaps even Yours.

The full story of these amazing men can be found at

If You do not have the time or need to read everything about Mr. Clokey,
jump down to Paragraph 13 (Paragraph 8 splits; I'm calling the second part
of the split Paragraph 9) where the Marvelous Events of His interaction
with Sathya Sai Baba are detailed.

The Greatness that Some Men do can never be Repaid.

Captain Infinity

Subject:    Re: OBEing To Area 51
From:       Captain Infinity
Date:       Fri, 14 Aug 1998 15:02:19 GMT
Message-ID: <35df4abf.8018862@news-f.std.com>

In alt.out-of-body
In article <35CCDE31.5219@zonetech.com>
Ken Laitinen wrote:

>From what I've been reading here it seems that many, but not all OBEs
>take place in the real world, rather than the mind. So if it is indeed
>in the real world, why not take a look over at Area 51? Or leave the
>Earth and see if there is life on other planets, or leave the edge of
>our galaxy, our universe even? Has anyone ever tried something like
>this, I'd like to do it myself, and I will as soon I successfully leave
>my body. I figured these might make for good goals to strive to in order
>to help in achieving an OBE. I'd love to hear of others experiences with
>stuff like this, and I'll be posting what I find out as soon as I can!

If I may, I would like to Answer Your message in two parts.

The first Part will deal with OOBing outside the Earth.  I have tried this
Myself several times, and I must say that I was rather Disappointed with
the results.  I have managed to leave the Confines of Earth's Atmosphere
four or five times (I think, though I never did keep count, actually).  The
first couple of times I Made the Mistake of Focusing on the Event (instead
of Just Letting It Happen) and I was immediately Slammed back into my Body.

This was a frightening and exhilarating experience.   To be sure, I have
often "Dropped" back into My body with sudden speed, but Never from such an
awesome Height: above the Earth.  It literally Took My Breath Away, and the
shaking of the bed awoke my Life Mate(tm).  I am Glad to say that there
were no Lingering Aftereffects, not even any Friction Burn.

The last few times that My Ethereal Spirit has escaped the Bounds of Earth,
I have floated freely in the Vast Open Spaces of Outer Space.  Please let
Me tell You...Outer Space is *boring*.  It is not like in the Movies
...there are no Space Battles going on Out There, no Blazing Comets
whooshing by, and very few UFO's.  Mostly it's just Empty.  And the other
Planets and Stars are a long way off...I doubt that I could stay away long
enough to make the trip without My Body reclaiming My Spirit because of a
Full Bladder.

A Question:  Is anyone aware of data regarding OOBOSE (Out Of Body Outer
Space Experiences) by the astronauts?  They're already *in* Outer Space, so
the journey would be shorter.  Plus, it would be Interesting if astronauts
in space could have an OOB&OOSOSE (Out Of Body & Out Of Spacesuit Outer
Space Experience) and journey back to Mother Earth.

As to Your second point, that of an OOB journey to Area 51:  I advise
against this in Most Strenuous Terms.  Area 51 is under Heavy Security At
All Times.  There would most likely be dreadful reactionary effects if You
are discovered there, for both You and Your Family.  When the Time Is
Right, I am sure Our Government will provide Us with All We Need To Know
about Area 51.  Until then, I suggest that you Trust the experts Who are
dealing with this matter and not do any investigating on Your Own.  It May
Prove Dangerous.

I apologize if I have Overstepped My Bounds in making these opinions Known,
but I truly Care for Each And Every One Of You, and do not wish to see
Anyone come to harm.

With Deep Respect and Love,
Captain Infinity

Subject:    Re: OBEing To Area 51
From:       Captain Infinity
Date:       Sun, 16 Aug 1998 03:38:56 GMT
Message-ID: <35d6512b.9553065@news-f.std.com>

In article <6r22bo$e5d$2@fir.prod.itd.earthlink.net>
nospam wrote:

>How could having an OOBE to Area 51 be dangerous? Do you think the
>government would have the ability to detect it? Do they have any weapons
>that could harm someone while having an OOBE?

Clearly, the Full Truth of the Events of Area 51 have not Yet been revealed
to Us.  My trust in My government is strong enough to Believe that what has
Not Been Revealed is being kept Secret only for My Own protection.  It
would seem Foolish to Me to try to Circumvent that protection.  That is why
I believe it is Unwise to attempt an OOBE into Area 51.  There may be
Dangers As Yet Unknown.

As for the Ability to Detect OOBErs, I certainly do not know.  There is no
way I can predict what Kind of advanced Alien Technology they have found on
the ships that are housed There, or from the Teachings of the Visitors.
For all I know, They may not only be able to Detect the Ephemeral Spirit,
but to Harm It as well.  This is a chance I am unwilling to take, and I
would not Wish such dangers on Any One Of You, My Most Beloved Friends.

I *do* know that there has been a recent Clamp Down on an Advanced
Technology that was Introduced to Our Society, and that is the Cameras with
the Special Ability to photograph the Nude Bodies of Fully Clothed
Individuals.  I am sure You have heard of this, it was Front Page News.  If
such X-Ray technology exists and is In The Hands of Our neighbors, is it
that hard to Imagine that Special Technology exists to detect the OOB
Traveler...and that such Technology would be in Position about Our
Country's Areas Of Greatest Security?

I would not presume to overstep my Bounds to advise You...I was merely
making a Warning, driven by my conscience and my Love for all my Friends on
this Froup.

May Your Spirit Journeys Be Ever Safe and Blessed,
Captain Infinity

Subject:    Re: Capt. Infinity's dog (was: Aliens blowing up the Lucidity  Institute)
From:       Captain Infinity
Date:       Sun, 16 Aug 1998 03:55:41 GMT
Message-ID: <35d756b6.10972487@news-f.std.com>

In alt.out-of-body
In article <2306-35D6077F-17@newsd-101.iap.bryant.webtv.net>
Clairity wrote:

>Captain Infinity wrote:
><<I am especially awed by Those members of Your family who are Bumblers.
>Science says They cannot fly, that Their wings cannot possibly lift such
>awkward bodies.  Yet There they are, buzzing through the Air, and into
>My dog's Mouth. and stinging Her tongue, which swells up and gags Her,
>which makes Me drive hastily to the animal hospital so that She will not
>Captain, your paint quite a picture (giggle)!  It may be that you were
>NOT trying to be funny, and if that is the case,  please give my
>sympathies to your dog!
>(I'm not laughing at you, hopefully I'm laughing WITH you)!!  


Thank You for Your kind Words.  My dog is Quite Well...I managed to get Her
into Treatment quickly enough to prevent Her from having Her Own OOBE.

I think She has finally learned that Vitamin Bees are safe only when the
Vet gives them to Her;  that it Is Not Wise to try to catch them Herself.

With Much Love and All Wishes For Inner Peace,
Captain Infinity

Subject:    Re: communication
From:       Captain Infinity
Date:       Sun, 16 Aug 1998 04:16:37 GMT
Message-ID: <35d858b5.11484085@news-f.std.com>

In alt.out-of-body
In article <01bdc8b9$b07981e0$LocalHost@newdmaxa>
Lone Wolf wrote:

>I suspect that we are hearing other peoples thoughts quite often. It's just
>that we hear them as our own thoughts. With practice you can separate your
>thoughts from theirs. Some people are also louder thinkers than others,
>they can send messages to other people by accident. This has happened to me
>a couple of times, not as embarrassing as what happened too you though. 

I am always Disturbed and Embarrassed when I hear Other People's thoughts.
They often reveal things I would Rather Not Know.  To be Fair, however,
they can sometimes Reveal Truths about Ourselves that we would not
otherwise be Aware of.  For instance, several months ago I decided to make
it a habit to Bathe at least once a Week, after I accidentally tuned into
some Stray Thoughts which revealed to Me certain heretofore Unknown Things
about Personal Space.  My Life Mate(tm) finds this a bit excessive, but I
can understand Her attitude; She did not experience the same Thought
Transference Event that I did.

Still, it is Disturbing and Sometimes Frightening, to hear Another's
thoughts.  After much grueling experimentation, I have taken to putting
Tiny Pieces of Tinfoil in my Ears, and this seems to cut down on the Amount
of Mental Reception I experience, and it disturbs the clarity of those
Stray Thoughts which *do* get through, diminishing them to a Low-Frequency
Buzz, which fades into the background of Everyday Life.

>I often find myself sitting in a crowded room, wondering if someone can
>hear what I'm thinking. I'd rather they not know.

A Friend of Mine has this same Phobia.  He tells me He has lined His
baseball cap with tinfoil, and that this helps.  It would be overstepping
My Bounds for Me to inform Him that I consider this device silly, almost
whimsical, so instead I take pleasure in the fact that He is a happier
person for it, which makes Me happy for Him.  True, He is an Odd Fellow,
but Who amongst Us can truly say that They are without Their Own particular

Wishing You Serenity in All The Places You Walk,
Captain Infinity

Subject:    Re: alt.out-of-body IRC chatting
From:       Captain Infinity
Date:       Tue, 18 Aug 1998 02:16:40 GMT
Message-ID: <35dfe2df.129551763@news-f.std.com>

In alt.out-of-body
In article <6ra203$7g9$3@news.bart.net>
Daan van Yperen wrote:

>Anybody interrested on group chatting a day or night on IRC about general
>topics in alt.out-of-body? (Is this already done in this NG?)

I cannot speak for Anyone but Myself, but personally I would have great
difficulty Chatting on IRC while Out Of Body.

Please Forgive Me if I have overstepped My Bounds by making this observation.

With Great Affection 
and Best Wishes for a Continued Peaceful Existence
and Happiness and Harmony in All You Do, Every Day Of Your Lives,
Captain Infinity

Subject:    Re: body stealers? please respond
From:       Captain Infinity
Date:       Sat, 26 Sep 1998 18:04:56 GMT
Message-ID: <360f2663.9644861@news-f.std.com>

In alt.out-of-body
In article <19980924232118.19577.00001380@ng113.aol.com>
DaftSkag wrote:

>there is a buddhist story about this particular man who enjoyed leaving his
>body and OBEs. however, one day, when he came back to his body, the spirit of a
>king had taken his body.  so the man eventually had to return to the king's
>body along with its ugly face.  
>i know that posts involving spirits returning to different bodies had been
>posted before, but i didn't see any responses to them.  this is the only reason
>why i can't seem to leave my room during OBEs.  can someone please give me some
>information involving this? thank you.

In article <19980926091039.20361.00002493@ng87.aol.com>
RGross6162 wrote:

>Hi.  I'm glad you sent this message because I want to reassure you that there
>is no way another spirit can take over your body while you are astral
>projection.  You do it every night anyway, while you are asleep.  The only
>thing another spirit can do is try to influence a weak minded person.  I've
>been astral projection since age 5 and have never experienced anything like you
>said.  Furthermore I enjoy working with people, one on one, and teaching them
>to astral project.  If you'd like to send me your mailing list, I can send you
>more information.  Thanks.
>Jerry Gross

My Good and Dear Friend DaftSkag:

Our Friend Jerry Gross is correct when He states that Your body cannot be
invaded by Another Spirit while You are traveling the astral planes.  I
understand the fear You must feel about these things; leaving the Body
unattended while OOB can be a major concern for Those who are new to this
marvelous experience.  This is one major reason that My Life Mates(tm) and I
joined our futures; so that None of Us will have to be Alone while traveling
in the Ethereal Realms.

There is a different but related issue that You should be concerned with,
however, and that is Body Theft by other Corporeal Entities.  I made the
mistake, many years ago (before joining with My Life Mates(tm)) of remarking
to a cow orker about my OOBEs, not knowing that He had once worked for a
medical supply company, and that He had many contacts...including some shady

One early morning about 5:00 AM, while I was having an OOBE in New Orleans
(I've never seen a more beautiful sight than Sunrise over the Gulf of Mexico)
He and an Associate broke into my apartment in Kitchener, Ontario, and
attempted to kidnap My unattended body.  I felt the disturbance in my Astral
Substance and managed to Rejoin My body just as they were loading It into the
back of Their van.  After wriggling out of the body bag They had placed Me
in, I fought Them off with little trouble.  They were unable to hold Me;  I
sleep in the nude, am completely bald, and was voluntarily castrated at age
22...so They had nothing to grab onto.  Using a self-defense trick I learned
from watching Moe Howard, I poked Them in the eyes, debilitating Them long
enough to escape and run to a nearby Police Station.

Once I convinced the Police that I was not a danger to Myself or Others, They
visited My apartment and discovered evidence that implicated My attempted
captors.  The incident was investigated and resolved.

Shortly after this I moved to another city and met My Life Mates(tm).  We now
watch over Each Other during OOBEs to ensure that such incidents never happen
again.  Plus, We got a Dog to keep an eye on the Mailman.  I don't trust Him.

With Wishes For Peace and Happiness,
Captain Infinity

Subject:    Re: Headaches and spinning
From:       Captain Infinity
Date:       Fri, 2 Oct 1998 16:20:27 GMT
Message-ID: <3625f93c.13866345@news-f.std.com>

In alt.out-of-body
In article <0SLQ1.54$_G.1047746@newsfeed.dreamscape.com>
Ronnie Price wrote:

>Is it normal to experience spinning prior to astral projecting?

My Good Friend Mr. Price,

I cannot speak for what is "Normal", but one of my Life Mates(tm) finds this
practice helpful to Her.  Before entering The Bed for Her nightly Journey,
She will sit with Her back flat against the wall and breath deeply in through
Her nose, moving the mucous to the back of Her throat.  She will also use Her
Diaphragm to bring up phlegm from Her lungs and throat.  Then She will
practice Spitting for several minutes, into a small Collection Device (i.e.
spittoon) that the rest of Us bought for Her a few years back.  She says this
activity cleanses Her and settles Her Inner Spirit, allowing It easier escape
from Her Bodily Confines.

Personally, I do not need It in order to attain a successful OOBE, preferring
instead a bi-weekly enema.

>Also,is the headaches a part and should they last for weeks?

No, they should Most Certainly Not!  Headaches which last for Weeks are a
sure sign that there is Something Wrong with Your Corporeal Body.  My own
headaches do not Last for more than a few days.

You may want to see a Doctor.  Or perhaps post Your questions to
alt.my.head.hurts, where things like This are discussed.

I hope I have not Overstepped My Bounds in making these suggestions.

With wishes for Freedom From Pain for You and Your Loved Ones,
Captain Infinity

Subject:    Re: Methods for "getting out" (long post)
From:       Captain Infinity
Date:       Sun, 16 Aug 1998 04:20:53 GMT
Message-ID: <35d95da1.12744406@news-f.std.com>

In alt.out-of-body
In article <308-35D5D993-117@newsd-103.iap.bryant.webtv.net>
Clairity wrote:

>My third and last OBE occured by what I lovingly call the "SNORT"
>technique.  My husband, on occasion, snores.  One night amidst the
>peacefulness of the night, my husband SNORTED.  So startled was I by
>this sudden loud noise, that I jerked awake (or aware) and my astral
>body was hoovering just slightly above me.  I was so surprised, so happy
>and so afraid that my husband would move in his sleep (or snort again)
>that I forgot what I should do to get away from my body and I soon
>merged back in.   NOTE:  The SNORT method is *not* recommended for those
>with weak hearts or pacemakers!

I can't compete with this.  These folks are just too whacked.

Captain Infinity

Subject:    Re: Opinon Poll: Sanity overrated? :)
From:       Captain Infinity
Date:       Thu, 17 Dec 1998 20:14:09 GMT
Message-ID: <36795665.2912956@news-f.std.com>

In alt.out-of-body
In article <01be1e82$12c47800$LocalHost@newdmaxa>
Lone Wolf wrote:

>sterno wrote in article <7453al$sf$1@nnrp1.dejanews.com>...
>> Welcome to the group anyhow!  Anybody else out there think that sanity is
>> overrated?
>Sanity is a state of mind. Insanity is a state of mind which makes no sense
>to those who are sane.

Outsanity is a state of mind where you believe you live in a small room
that has a moon cut in the door and which contains no furniture except for
a chair with a hole in it over a pit that stinks, and you live in constant
fear that you will fall into the hole and be trapped forever until you die.

>To be on the edge of insanity is the ability to understand both states of
>mind. With understanding comes intelligence and knowledge. Intelligence
>combined with knowledge gives great power. This must mean that the most
>powerful people in the world are those that we call insane.

Contrariwise, my Uncle Bert, who is homeless and lives in an alleyway
somewhere in Quincy, Massachusetts, and who doesn't have two nickels to rub
together because he's as dumb as a lint mint, is the most sane man alive.

My Uncle Bert puts the "P" in "Public".  He's never used a computer in his
life, and if you said "XYZZY" to him he'd look at you like you were crazy.
Which you are, compared to him.

>Freedom is what everyone seeks in their life, however very few ever find
>true freedom. People who are insane have true freedom, they are not
>restricted by the laws of society. In their minds they are where they want
>to be, and they are who they want to be.

True freedom is to believe that you are standing in a maze of twisty
passages, all alike.  There is an Outhouse here.  The door has a hole
carved in it that is shaped like a moon.

:Enter outhouse

You are in the Outhouse.  There is a chair with a hole in it here.

: Look in chair

I do not understand that sentence.

: Look in hole

Which hole, the one in the door or the one in the chair?

: Look in the hole in the chair

It is too dark to see anything.

: Sit on chair

Better take off your pants first.

: Remove pants

You are not wearing any pants.

: Sit on chair

You hear the sound of wood breaking, and you feel yourself falling through
the hole in the chair.  You try to catch yourself, but you fall into
darkness.  In a few seconds you splash into a thick slimly wetness, and
suddenly find yourself engulfed in a noxious rancid vapor that fills your
lungs and head.  You gasp and try to breathe, but every inhalation draws
more malodorous fumes into your body.  Your chest tightens, and your gorge
rises.  You will certainly die soon unless you leave this place.

: exit

You see no exit.

: climb

The walls are too slippery.

Better find light soon or you may be eaten by a Gru.

: Go Insane


Captain Infinity
 ...score: infinity out of a possible 100 points

Return to the Left Loop

To the Crossthreads

To the Right Loop

Web site contents are Copyright Captain Infinity Productions.
All Usenet posts reproduced herein are the copyrighted intellectual property of the poster named in the "From" header.