Subject: Re: Death By Ballon Blowing From: Captain Infinity Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.religion.kibology,alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.balloon.pop.pop.pop Message-ID: <email@example.com> In article <firstname.lastname@example.org> James "Kibo" Parry wrote: >> [quoting from a recent issue of Scientific American] >> > >> > "A 24-year-old previously healthy, nonsmoker presented with a 48-hour >> > history of a sensation of crackling under the skin," wrote attending >> > physician Stuart Elborn, then at the University Hospital of Wales, in a >> > recent issue of the British Medical Journal. His examination turned up >> > pockets of air trapped under the skin on the man's shoulders, chest, neck, >> > abdomen, back, arms, legs and, providing a built-in whoopie-cushion >> > effect, derriere. >> >> It seems that this guy had recently inflated many balloons in preparation >> for a party. He manage to rupture some of his alveoli, allowing him to >> pump air under his skin. Apparently, there was no permanent damage, as the >> guy recovered within a couple of weeks. ... >I find it interesting that some of the air went to his butt, some >went to his arms, some went to his legs, etc. How did it know? >Why didn't it all just go into his stomach or something? Probably the same way aspirin knows when it should go to your headache and when it should go to my toothache. Please tell aspirin to stop going to your headache; my tooth is killing me. Dumb old aspirin. >And more importantly, if you block a sneeze wrong, would you get >air bubbles or mucus bubbles all over your body? Jaime de Castellvi will now extend this thought to the parallel consequences of blocking a fart. Note to self: set temporary killfile on Jaime de Castellvi. > -- K. > > Blowing up balloons is perfectly > safe if you take off your skin first. What if you do it with your skin on, but while lying on a bed of nails? "Don't be afraid, kids, that hissing sound you hear is just the release of air from my inflated skin pockets. Now, who wants a poodle?" ** Captain Infinity ...if you filled a blue balloon with blue ink, and then threw it at a weathergirl, would she disappear?
Subject: Re: Death By Ballon Blowing From: Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,alt.religion.kibology,alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.balloon.pop.pop.pop Message-ID: <email@example.com> In article <363E55E7.firstname.lastname@example.org> Chris Franks wrote: >Captain Infinity wrote: >> >> Jaime de Castellvi will now extend this thought to the parallel >> consequences of blocking a fart. > > In case he doesn't know, it's called "diverticulitis" Wait wait wait. Is that the name for when you let it slide out under one cheek, like the Ace of Spades sliding from a magician's deck? Or when you clamp it off and colon-gulp it back, as with a vomit burp? Or when you create an infinitesimal aperture to minimize, if not eliminate fricative resonance? Please let me know soon; the interview is Wednesday. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go killfile myself. ** Captain Infinity ... No pun intended.
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