Subject:    Re: Fwd: Re: REVIEW: Chasey Lain Love Doll, by Dimas Nava
From:       Captain Infinity
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.wanted.mars.women
Message-ID: <35bc6416.16914358@news-f.std.com>

YAY!  WSTD added alt.wanted.mars.women to my list of available groups!  
Now I can spy on Podkayne!

In article <35ae34bc.15809415@news.buckeyenet.net>
Podkayne Fries wrote:

>I found this in alt.peeves and felt obliged to repost it for your
>reading pleasure.  It's pretty twisted, IMO, so some of you will
>appreciate it.

Like who, specifically?  Are you implying there are people posting here who
are "into" inflatable women?  Well hey, if so, I'd like to know who!

BTW, just wondering, has anybody heard from julie e lately?  
She's been awful quite ever since posting that bestiality story.

Why is it always the *women* who post this kinky stuff?

>>> Signature Collectors Edition

"Hey, Bob, that's quite a collection of Fuck Dolls you have there!"

"Thanks, Jim!  Biggest in the county.  And look, this one's signed!"

>>>    Which brings us face to face

in a manner of speaking

>>> with the quality control issue. None of the
>>> manufacturers or retailers of inflatable dolls will stand behind their products

!

>>> and all of them have quality control problems because there is no financial
>>> incentive for them to care. This makes every inflatable doll purchase a gamble.
>>> Because of the inherent gamble involved, I generally only buy cheap dolls. They
>>> don't have as many features and don't last as long, but the risk is much less.

"Because of the risk of rejection, I only date ugly women.  They don't have
as many features and don't last as long, but the risk is much less."

>>> Even taking dud dolls into account, it is more cost effective over the long run
>>> to buy several cheap dolls rather than one expensive doll.

Signed,
Larry King

>>> The plastic is darker than most dolls, to
>>> create the impression of a full body tan.

Warning!  Tan is simulated!  Do not wear doll in tanning booth!

>>>    The head of the Chasey Lain Inflatable Fantasy Playmate is a fully molded
>>> mannequin head, with mouth, tongue, eyes, nose, ear, and full head of long red
>>> hair. The material for the face is soft and pliable. The glass eyes are a pale
>>> blue and the eyelids have long black eyelashes. The eyes do not close. 

The nose is long and pointed.  
The ears are full of simulated wax.  
The dentures are removable.  

>>> Chasey Lain Inflatable Fantasy Playmate's hair is long, red, and straight. 

A bag of synthetic dandruff is included.  Apply it yourself, or use your
own real dandruff.

>>> face is molded from Chasey herself. I prefer cartoon faces on my dolls (it
>>> makes the fantasy experience more fun), but as far as realistic faces go, this
>>> is the best.

Oh brother, we could craft a whole thread from *this* straight line.

>>>Because of the position of the tongue, there is no room for oral sex.

Be a man!  Rip it out!

>>> The areoles are great and the nipple are ok (for some reason, they aren't
>>> erect).

Maybe you just don't turn her on.  

>>> The areoles and nipples are soft and pliable, unlike the hard plastic
>>> of most dolls. There is a sharp plastic lip where the tits are mounted on the
>>> doll chest, making tittie fucking too painful. If these tits had been water
>>> filled rather than air filled, they would by far be the best of any doll.

Yes, but then it would have failed certification as a floatation device.

>>> The lack of a clitoris is an obvious disappointment.

More for her than for you, I'm sure.

>>>    The big disappointment with my Chasey Lain Inflatable Fantasy Playmate is
>>> that the pussy and ass openings were too tight to allow entry. I've seen this
>>> problem before on some high end stand alone vaginas. I don't know if this is a
>>> problem for all Chasey Lain Inflatable Fantasy Playmate dolls or an
>>> intermittent problem. I am unwilling to save up for another six months to find
>>> out.

Well if you had shelled out an extra twenty bucks for the optional
accessory Swiss Army Knife you could have whittled this problem away.
Cheapskate!

>>> Overall, the Chasey Lain Inflatable Fantasy Playmate is an excellent doll,
>>> although the lack of ability to use any of her three holes is a serious
>>> setback.

Gee, ya think?

>>> THE FOLLOWING IS THE TEXT ON THE BOX:
>>> 
>>> Chasey Lain "Sexteen" Sensuous Features
>>> 

>>>    6. Original molding of Chasey's hands

Yum!  Cheesy!

>>>    8. Original molding of Chasey's feet with painted nails

Yum!  Blue Cheesy!

>>>    9. Special doggy style position

Sit!  Beg!  Roll over!  Play dead!

>>>    15. Chasey lube

Yum!  Peanut Butter and K-Y Jelly!

>>>    "My pussy and butt bibrate. I will shake and shiver you with delight."

"Do not use me in the bathtub!"

>>>    * My Surprise Just for You - A Signed "Pin-Up" Poster of me (Free Inside)!

Inside what?  Do I want to know?

>>> SOLD AS A NOVELTY ONLY

MARRIAGE TO CHASEY LOVE DOLL IS ILLEGAL IN 46 STATES.

>>> AVAILABILITY
>>> 
>>>    U.S. $259 <a
>>> href="http://www.sextoyclub.com/cgi-bin/htmlos/01251.5.4331528854117347503/sextoywholesale/ws_view.html">Con
>>> vergence Inc.</a>

Heh.  This nearby page is weirder:
http://www.sextoyclub.com/cgi-bin/htmlos/01251.5.19929004408817347503/sextoywholesale/ws_view.html

And this one shows you where these things come from:
http://www.sextoyclub.com/cgi-bin/htmlos/01251.10.674470741117347503

<propaganda snipped...BOOORRRRIIINNNGGGG!>

Over and out,
Captain Infinity


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