Subject:    Re: Paramount and Star Trek
From:       Captain Infinity
Newsgroups: rec.arts.startrek.current,alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv,rec.arts.tv
Message-ID: <3581a1e5.3612616@news-f.std.com>

In article <357A24AF.7A397D1F@tyler.net>
WWS wrote:

>DoeBoY2505 wrote:
>
>> Captain Jean-Luc Picard wrote:
>>
>> >How did Paramount come to own Star Trek?
>> >
>> Paramount used to be Desilu studios.  Desilu used to own Trek so when Paramount
>> brought Desilu they got Trek.
>
>That is really hilarious when you think about it.
>
>Ricky Ricardo used to own Star Trek.  LUUUCCYYYY!!!!!


INTERIOR, RICARDO APARTMENT
     RICKY ENTERS the Ricardo apartment.  He looks weary.  He has
     obviously had a rough day at work, shaking his maracas.  As
     he steps into the living room, the lights dim.  A loud HUM
     fills the room, and DROPS IN TONE.

          RICKY
     Whad the hack?  Whass gwing onn?

The LIGHTS FLICKER, then go OUT.  All we can see are his eyes,
glowing in the dark.  (NOTE:  Tell the CGI guys to avoid making
this look like the "animal scene" in "PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE")

          RICKY	
     Hey, compudah, whass qwing onn?  
     Whassamatter wid da lites?

          COMPUTER VOICE
     Attention, Please, Attention!  Life support
     systems are at 27% and falling.  Estimated
     total failure in four minutes, two seconds.
     Please kiss your ass goodbye.

There is a KNOCK ON THE DOOR, and FRED ENTERS.  All we can see
are his eyes GLOWING IN THE DARK.  (NOTE:  Tell the CGI guys to
make FRED's eyes look *exactly* like PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE)

          FRED
     Hey, Ricky, how was work today?  
     Whoa, looks like you have a problem
     with the life support systems.

          RICKY
     Yes, Frad, I can see dat.

          FRED
     How can you see anything here in the dark?
     Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!

          RICKY
     Frad!  Dis iss no laffing madda!  I esspect
     todal sysdem failyoor in abou' four minnits!

          FRED
     Well, we had better get to the life pods!

Ricky ROLLS HIS EYES at Fred.  (NOTE:  Tell the CGI guys that
*both eyes* have to roll in the *same direction* this time!)

          RICKY
     Frad, you know dis apardmen' hass no life pods!
     I have to fine dout whass kossing dis.  
         (TAPS COMM BADGE)
     Ricky to bridge.  Ricky to bridge.  
     Allo bridge, is you dare?
         (PAUSE.  DARE'S ahem THERE'S NO ANSWER)
     Dare's no answer.  Frad, I'm goink to da bridge.
     You stay ahere ant call me iff dare is any chench.

          FRED
     "Chench"?  What the hell is "chench"?

          RICKY
     Chench!  Chench!  Yoo know, whann thinks no longer
     estay the samm!

          FRED
     Ohhhh, chench.  Right.  Got it.

Ricky's eyes WALK ACROSS THE ROOM. (NOTE:  tell the CGI guys to
...nevermind, let them frigging figure it out, what the hell am I
paying them for, anyway?)

As he reaches the the bridge, THE DOOR SWINGS OPEN and bonks him
in the head.  Ricky falls to the floor.  Standing in the light of
the door we see LUCY, wearing an apron.  Behind her we can see
into the bridge.  There is smoke coming from the stove.

          RICKY
     Luuucy!  Whass goink onn?

          LUCY
     Oh, hello dear!  I was just making some muffins!

          RICKY
     Luuuuucy!  Life suppor' sysdems are failing, toadal
     collapse in abou' taminnit!  Essplane!

          LUCY
     Well...I ran out of corn starch, so I ground up some
     of the spare dilithium crystals...but then the batter
     wouldn't rise, so I added some anti-matter that I found
     in the pantry engines, and then the computer started
     beeping at me so I tried to make it quiet by covering it
     with the wet laundry and then...and then....

          RICKY
     LUUUUUUUCCCCYYYYYYY!!!!!

          LUCY
     WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!


MUSIC UP AND OUT.  BREAK TO COMMERCIAL.


** 
Captain Infinity


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