Subject: Re: Paramount and Star Trek From: Captain Infinity Newsgroups: rec.arts.startrek.current,alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv,rec.arts.tv Message-ID: <firstname.lastname@example.org> In article <357A24AF.7A397D1F@tyler.net> WWS wrote: >DoeBoY2505 wrote: > >> Captain Jean-Luc Picard wrote: >> >> >How did Paramount come to own Star Trek? >> > >> Paramount used to be Desilu studios. Desilu used to own Trek so when Paramount >> brought Desilu they got Trek. > >That is really hilarious when you think about it. > >Ricky Ricardo used to own Star Trek. LUUUCCYYYY!!!!! INTERIOR, RICARDO APARTMENT RICKY ENTERS the Ricardo apartment. He looks weary. He has obviously had a rough day at work, shaking his maracas. As he steps into the living room, the lights dim. A loud HUM fills the room, and DROPS IN TONE. RICKY Whad the hack? Whass gwing onn? The LIGHTS FLICKER, then go OUT. All we can see are his eyes, glowing in the dark. (NOTE: Tell the CGI guys to avoid making this look like the "animal scene" in "PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE") RICKY Hey, compudah, whass qwing onn? Whassamatter wid da lites? COMPUTER VOICE Attention, Please, Attention! Life support systems are at 27% and falling. Estimated total failure in four minutes, two seconds. Please kiss your ass goodbye. There is a KNOCK ON THE DOOR, and FRED ENTERS. All we can see are his eyes GLOWING IN THE DARK. (NOTE: Tell the CGI guys to make FRED's eyes look *exactly* like PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE) FRED Hey, Ricky, how was work today? Whoa, looks like you have a problem with the life support systems. RICKY Yes, Frad, I can see dat. FRED How can you see anything here in the dark? Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! RICKY Frad! Dis iss no laffing madda! I esspect todal sysdem failyoor in abou' four minnits! FRED Well, we had better get to the life pods! Ricky ROLLS HIS EYES at Fred. (NOTE: Tell the CGI guys that *both eyes* have to roll in the *same direction* this time!) RICKY Frad, you know dis apardmen' hass no life pods! I have to fine dout whass kossing dis. (TAPS COMM BADGE) Ricky to bridge. Ricky to bridge. Allo bridge, is you dare? (PAUSE. DARE'S ahem THERE'S NO ANSWER) Dare's no answer. Frad, I'm goink to da bridge. You stay ahere ant call me iff dare is any chench. FRED "Chench"? What the hell is "chench"? RICKY Chench! Chench! Yoo know, whann thinks no longer estay the samm! FRED Ohhhh, chench. Right. Got it. Ricky's eyes WALK ACROSS THE ROOM. (NOTE: tell the CGI guys to ...nevermind, let them frigging figure it out, what the hell am I paying them for, anyway?) As he reaches the the bridge, THE DOOR SWINGS OPEN and bonks him in the head. Ricky falls to the floor. Standing in the light of the door we see LUCY, wearing an apron. Behind her we can see into the bridge. There is smoke coming from the stove. RICKY Luuucy! Whass goink onn? LUCY Oh, hello dear! I was just making some muffins! RICKY Luuuuucy! Life suppor' sysdems are failing, toadal collapse in abou' taminnit! Essplane! LUCY Well...I ran out of corn starch, so I ground up some of the spare dilithium crystals...but then the batter wouldn't rise, so I added some anti-matter that I found in the pantry engines, and then the computer started beeping at me so I tried to make it quiet by covering it with the wet laundry and then...and then.... RICKY LUUUUUUUCCCCYYYYYYY!!!!! LUCY WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! MUSIC UP AND OUT. BREAK TO COMMERCIAL. ** Captain Infinity
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