Subject: Re: Paramount and Star Trek
From: Captain Infinity
Newsgroups: rec.arts.startrek.current,alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv,rec.arts.tv
Message-ID: <3581a1e5.3612616@news-f.std.com>
In article <357A24AF.7A397D1F@tyler.net>
WWS wrote:
>DoeBoY2505 wrote:
>
>> Captain Jean-Luc Picard wrote:
>>
>> >How did Paramount come to own Star Trek?
>> >
>> Paramount used to be Desilu studios. Desilu used to own Trek so when Paramount
>> brought Desilu they got Trek.
>
>That is really hilarious when you think about it.
>
>Ricky Ricardo used to own Star Trek. LUUUCCYYYY!!!!!
INTERIOR, RICARDO APARTMENT
RICKY ENTERS the Ricardo apartment. He looks weary. He has
obviously had a rough day at work, shaking his maracas. As
he steps into the living room, the lights dim. A loud HUM
fills the room, and DROPS IN TONE.
RICKY
Whad the hack? Whass gwing onn?
The LIGHTS FLICKER, then go OUT. All we can see are his eyes,
glowing in the dark. (NOTE: Tell the CGI guys to avoid making
this look like the "animal scene" in "PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE")
RICKY
Hey, compudah, whass qwing onn?
Whassamatter wid da lites?
COMPUTER VOICE
Attention, Please, Attention! Life support
systems are at 27% and falling. Estimated
total failure in four minutes, two seconds.
Please kiss your ass goodbye.
There is a KNOCK ON THE DOOR, and FRED ENTERS. All we can see
are his eyes GLOWING IN THE DARK. (NOTE: Tell the CGI guys to
make FRED's eyes look *exactly* like PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE)
FRED
Hey, Ricky, how was work today?
Whoa, looks like you have a problem
with the life support systems.
RICKY
Yes, Frad, I can see dat.
FRED
How can you see anything here in the dark?
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!
RICKY
Frad! Dis iss no laffing madda! I esspect
todal sysdem failyoor in abou' four minnits!
FRED
Well, we had better get to the life pods!
Ricky ROLLS HIS EYES at Fred. (NOTE: Tell the CGI guys that
*both eyes* have to roll in the *same direction* this time!)
RICKY
Frad, you know dis apardmen' hass no life pods!
I have to fine dout whass kossing dis.
(TAPS COMM BADGE)
Ricky to bridge. Ricky to bridge.
Allo bridge, is you dare?
(PAUSE. DARE'S ahem THERE'S NO ANSWER)
Dare's no answer. Frad, I'm goink to da bridge.
You stay ahere ant call me iff dare is any chench.
FRED
"Chench"? What the hell is "chench"?
RICKY
Chench! Chench! Yoo know, whann thinks no longer
estay the samm!
FRED
Ohhhh, chench. Right. Got it.
Ricky's eyes WALK ACROSS THE ROOM. (NOTE: tell the CGI guys to
...nevermind, let them frigging figure it out, what the hell am I
paying them for, anyway?)
As he reaches the the bridge, THE DOOR SWINGS OPEN and bonks him
in the head. Ricky falls to the floor. Standing in the light of
the door we see LUCY, wearing an apron. Behind her we can see
into the bridge. There is smoke coming from the stove.
RICKY
Luuucy! Whass goink onn?
LUCY
Oh, hello dear! I was just making some muffins!
RICKY
Luuuuucy! Life suppor' sysdems are failing, toadal
collapse in abou' taminnit! Essplane!
LUCY
Well...I ran out of corn starch, so I ground up some
of the spare dilithium crystals...but then the batter
wouldn't rise, so I added some anti-matter that I found
in the pantry engines, and then the computer started
beeping at me so I tried to make it quiet by covering it
with the wet laundry and then...and then....
RICKY
LUUUUUUUCCCCYYYYYYY!!!!!
LUCY
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
MUSIC UP AND OUT. BREAK TO COMMERCIAL.
**
Captain Infinity
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