Subject: I get mail, too From: Scuzz Lorenzo Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.test. Message-ID: <firstname.lastname@example.org> >To: [me] >Subject: Searching for Relative >From: dodds [email ID removed] >Date: Mon, 11 Nov > >Dear Lorenzo Family Member: > >We have recently found out that we have a brother and we are trying to >locate him. > >His name is Tony Lorenzo >At this time he would be approx. 50 years old >We believe he was bron in England when our father served in the Army >His mother's name is Betty Hawkins > >We were told that Tony came to [removed], MA looking for family on or >before 1992. We are not sure at this time if he returned to England or >not. > >NONE OF TONY'S BROTHERS OR SISTERS KNEW ABOUT HIM AT THAT TIME!!! > >If you know of this Tony that we are looking for, or have any >information, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. Any help that you can give us would >be greatly appreciated. > >Thank you, > >Laura (Lorenzo) Dodd To: [removed] Subject: Re: Searching for Relative From: [me] Date: Mon, 11 Nov Oh, yeah, sure, Tony was here last weekend. We spent some time playing pool and then had dinner. It was lasagna and ham. Tony didn't eat any ham...said something about it "gave him the urps" or something like that. I found that funny...after all, I had seen him picking his nose and eating the boogers while we were playing pool, and that didn't seem to "urp" him any. Anyway, after dinner, we talked about the current British political situation and flounder. He has a great many opinions on Brit politics and fish, let me tell you, and he's not afraid to announce them very loudly. I had to send the kids to bed early when he started sputtering profanity about Thatcher and chum. He was acting like a Tourette's Syndrome posterboy. Well, anyway, we shared some cheap brandy and then we all went to bed. During the night my wife heard some thumping in the hallway and woke me to see what the problem was. Tony was dragging his mattress down the stairs, said he wanted to sleep on the lawn. I tried to stop him, told him it's getting cold at night here in [removed] Massachusetts, but he was insistent, and when he threatened to stab me with a fork he had stolen during dinner I thought "what the hell, let the old fart do what he wants" and I went back to bed. The next morning he was gone, and the mattress was still on the lawn. I don't know where he went nor do I care. If you find out, please don't tell me. I'm still pretty mad at him...he wet the bed that night. --Scuzz Lorenzo
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