Subject:    Re: Plot devices that make you want to scratch your head
From:       Captain Infinity
Message-ID: <>

In article <>
WWS wrote:

>I want to be like the guy in the Truman show who jumped out of the
>christmas box.  Right in the middle of a council meeting I could
>bust out of the side of the speakers table wearing a tinfoil hat
>and a button that said HI MOM! and I would yell "I made it! I made it!"
>as they dragged me off.  And then they would have to write in some
>psycho killer clown conspiracy to explain it all, and I could tell
>both of my friends, "yeah, I did that, hehehehehe."

Let me tell you what you've just done...

I have yet to see this movie but once I do, and when I see this scene, I will
see *you* there.  And then, forever after that, whenever I read one of your
posts or chat with you, and I mentally picture you, *that's* the guy I will
be picturing.

I hope you can live with that.

BTW, I played the part of Tornado Man in the big screen motion picture
version of "The Mighty Heroes".  Of course, tornado power is only one of many
in my infinite bag of tricks.  It was a drag that I had to shave my beard off
for the part, but at least they let me keep the colored contact lenses and
the cape (which I added to my collection).

Also BTW, I picture Blackhawk as Ricky Nelson with blond hair, and I picture
Jaime as a dying aardvark in the desert being eaten by two disgusting
slobbering alien creatures.  (I know that won't make sense, because you
haven't read the things *I've* read, but that's the way it goes.)  

I picture MQS as a large red cat in striped pajamas (*my* striped pajamas,
the ones where the back-door flap won't stay closed) and I picture Lisa Rea
as a pair of eyes peering through holes chewed in a straightjacket peering
through a hole cut in a sheet peering through a barred window...the window of
*my* cell.

I picture Theron Fuller as one of the more active disturbances on the surface
of the Bog Of Eternal Stench.  IYKWIM.  I picture Gharlane of Eddore as a
stuffed ALF toy which has been chewed with delight by puppies; one ear is
missing and the stuffing has been torn out, but he's still recognizable by
the nose.  

I picture SGWM as a 2" by 1-column ad in the "personals" section of the
Boston Phoenix newspaper.  

I picture Kibo as Kibo, only wearing a Druid cloak.  I picture David DeLaney
as a pixel on my screen that moves out of my line of vision every time I try
to focus on it, like a "floater" in my eye.  I have a "floater" in my eye
that looks exactly like the way I picture Mike Jittlov, only wearing a
mystical hat.

I picture all of Usenet as an infinite number of Weebles wearing X-Ray specs
where the left eye has been colored red and the right eye has been colored
green, all stuffed into an enormous paper sack, shaken, and tossed into the
air to come smashing down onto a cement path that leads through a cornfield.
The Weebles fly outward in thousands of directions, wobbling but not falling
down, getting lost among the corn stalks.  Each one thinks he can see through
the crop to real-life-3D-TRUTH.  Each Weeble picks up a megaphone which has a
piece of wax paper over the end of it (so everything is filtered like a
kazoo) and they all begin to speak at once, never noticing that none of the
other Weebles have any ears on the sides of their pointed painted heads.

Captain Infinity
 ...Magic Mirror, tell me today...have all my friends had fun at play?

Return to the Left Loop

To the Crossthreads

To the Right Loop

Web site contents are Copyright © Captain Infinity Productions.
All Usenet posts reproduced herein are the copyrighted intellectual property of the poster named in the "From" header.