Once Upon A Time, Joe Ellis wrote this:
Subject:    Re: [SPOILERS]: "Fight Or Flight" As An Essay Question
From:       Joe Ellis
Newsgroups: alt.tv.star-trek.voyager,alt.tv.star-trek.enterprise,rec.arts.startrek.current,
              alt.startrek.voyager,alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.music.filk
Message-ID: <filker-0610012137340001@user-37kau2m.dialup.mindspring.com>


In article <e65vrt0nb1go7d3b5r0pfu8v5p803smbls@4ax.com>,
Infinity@world.std.com wrote:


>Captain Infinity
> ..."I'm sure that with a long 3/4" dowel, some music wire,
>     and some duct tape, that you could cobble something
>     together that would be "close enough" to hit the moon."
>                                                --Joe Ellis

heh heh heh... and you thought I'd forgotten you...

After reviewing a large number of posts by "Captain Infinity", I am
without a doubt completely within the law in the analysis given in the
song below.


Brain Death of a Troll
TTTO "Greensleeves", of course, as promised.

       I once proposed a simple rig
      To accurize a laser mount,
   But a twit too brainless to write his own sig
Stole it for his own account.

         Brainless was the way he wrote,
         Brainless was his ability.
         Brainless was his reparteé
 And his name was Infinity.
 

     His reputation on usenet news
seems to be that of a boorish troll
 And the tiny posts that spread his views
Could be kept in a finger bowl.

         Brainless was the way he wrote,
         Brainless was his ability.
         Brainless was his reparteé
 And his name was Infinity.


  Though in his postings he claims the rank
      Of captain, it's not in his resumé
     His smarts don't strain his memory bank,
  and it doesn't show in his CV. (1)

         Brainless was the way he wrote,
         Brainless was his ability.
         Brainless was his reparteé
 And his name was Infinity.

         Warned he was not to steal a line
  That's copyright, and belonged to a bard,
     But he insisted 'twas just his right,
Now he's found that the fates hold the cards.

         Brainless was the way he wrote,
         Brainless was his ability.
         Brainless was his reparteé
 And his name was Infinity.

         Yes, brainless was the way he wrote,
         Brainless was his ability. 
         Warned was he not to press his luck... (pause)
 And his name it now scans to Greensleeves!


(1) curriculum vitae. A term of which he professed ignorance:
"I love silly flame mail, don't you?  But, what's a "CV"?"

-- 
 Joe Ellis € The Synthetic Filker        TesserAct Studios
 Please Note: ALL email from hotmail.com is deleted UNREAD
 | W W | W W W | W W | W W W | W W | W W W | W W | W W W |
 | W W | W W W | W W | W W W | W W | W W W | W W | W W W |
 |_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|
Filk € Fly Fishing € Model Railroading € Digital Photography
Then there was some discussion, and I wrote this:
From:       Captain Infinity
Newsgroups: rec.music.filk,alt.fan.tom-servo
Message-ID: <7tdvrto81pup1p0r3caddvu8afvjpoc971@4ax.com>


Mortis wrote:

>I used my telepathic powers to read
><filker-0610012137340001@user-37kau2m.dialup.mindspring.com>, wherein
>Joe Ellis wrote:
>>In article <e65vrt0nb1go7d3b5r0pfu8v5p803smbls@4ax.com>,
>>Infinity@world.std.com wrote:
>>>Captain Infinity
>>> ..."I'm sure that with a long 3/4" dowel, some music wire,
>>>     and some duct tape, that you could cobble something
>>>     together that would be "close enough" to hit the moon."
>>>                                                --Joe Ellis
>>
>>heh heh heh... and you thought I'd forgotten you...
>>
>>After reviewing a large number of posts by "Captain Infinity", I am
>>without a doubt completely within the law in the analysis given in the
>>song below.
>
><"revenge" snipped>
>
>Heh.  You had all that time, revenge best served cold and all, and
>that simmering piece of crap was the best you could come up with?  You
>could have saved yourself some trouble and just called him a
>"doody-head".

Aw, give him a break Mortis.  He's got me dead to rights.

I admit it, I am a boorish troll.

<sniff>  My father was a boorish troll, and his father before him.  The
women of my family all top post.  My sisters and brothers refuse to use
AOL because it's "too difficult" for them, so they use WebTV instead,
and I probably would be too if I hadn't been brainwashed by Kibo into
using world.std.com.  <sniff>

But in all seriousness, yes, I am a troll.  I was born a troll and I'll
probably die a troll.  It's not an enviable fate, but it could be worse.
Whenever I worry about being a troll I try to remember that at least I'm
not a flamer.  Or a meower.  Or something worse.  When I troll I try to
troll for laughter, not for anger.  I try to remember that each person
who gets trolled is a live human being with feelings and sensitivities.
And when I accidentally hurt someone or make someone angry, I apologize.
When I troll I use unbarbed hooks; I catch and release.

Anyway, Mortis, calm your anger.  Joe tickled me greatly with his filk;
it was well done and very entertaining.  In response, as a thank you
and/or an apology, I promise not to use Joe's quote again in my .sig.


** 
Captain Infinity
..."Do not bite at the bait of pleasure 'til you know
    there is no hook beneath it."  --Thomas Jefferson.

Then Martin DeMello wrote this:

From: Martin Julian DeMello
Newsgroups: rec.music.filk,alt.fan.tom-servo
Message-ID: <9pq4sq$8qr$1@joe.rice.edu>


In rec.music.filk Captain Infinity <Infinity@world.std.com> wrote:
> <sniff>  My father was a boorish troll, and his father before him.  The

Insta ttto "Horsetamer's Daughter"

My father was a boorish troll, on the backways of the net
His posts were crude, and his language rude, and his rants devoid of threat 
But few folk cared to peruse his tripe, the plonks came fast and thick
And the pointless raving of a spineless craven was dismissed as a boring trick
So plonked he was and ignored because they had better things to do
But I was destined to have half a mind, and to raise the torch anew

My grandpa gave me trolling tips, from a long forgotten day
When the net was young, and the filksongs sung, and the master trolls held sway
But September came around, he said, the newbies flooded in
And the pointed posts of that early host were drowned in the general din
And neither did the people rise to their finely crafted bait
So the trolls withdrew and determined to let the next generation prate

My father had no luck, it seemed, for no one gave a damn
He tried his best, as a usenet pest, but was less annoying than spam
He watched the flamers turn their wrath against "Make Money Fast"
And his envy soared as he was ignored as a relic of the past
So late he sat into the night, and insulted random men 
But nought could he gain after all his pain but a laugh every now and then

As I prepared to take my place, and to learn the family trade
So blithe and gay did I join the fray, so young and so unafraid
And soon strode forth Infinity, for thus was I yclept
And my father cried in a wave of pride, and I think even grandpa wept
But young I was, and green I was, with my powers as yet untried
And oft was I burnt before I learnt how to don an asbestos hide

Then usenet lay beneath my hand, the groups were ripe to pluck
And I ventured in with a thickened skin, and I though I'd try my luck
I dropped in posts like loaded hooks, with several subtle jibes
Then I smiled in glee at the summoned spree of insults and diatribes
But my greatest coups were the crosspost trolls, the groups I drove to war
For the sheep will bleat once their blood is heated, with no clue what
  they're fighting for

And I'll ever be a boor, I'll ever be a net troll
The cascades and the flames are music to my soul
And when my son is grown, and should he be a jerk
I'll get him on the net, to carry on my work

-- 
Martin DeMello

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