Subject:    Clique Theory
From:       Dr Drew
Newsgroups: uk.local.yorkshire
Date:       Tue, 29 Jun 1999
Message-ID: <7la7ss$>


Good morning, students. Today I am going to outline an exciting new 
aspect of theoretical physics. It concerns the behaviour of particles 
when interacting with Neusgroupinos: also called TANTRUM MECHANICS. 
This is CLIQUE theory.

The particle in question is officially called the T+ particle, but is 
known colloquially as the Troll. Trolls often come in bonded pairs, the 
troll and the antitroll. These pairs behave oddly: sometimes 
reinforcing one another, sometimes cancelling each other out. 
Occasionally a troll loses its antitroll partner and can then behave 
quite unpredictably, according to the rules of chaos: firing off random 
quarks (known as "posts") in an attempt to bond with a new antitroll. 
The existence of trolls was first proved by Hans Akrosstheocean in his 
famous "double-prat experiment", or the "experiment with two morons". 

Trolls, whether bonded to antitrolls or not, also interact with 
neusgroupinos. Neusgroupinos are stable hadrons with a tendency to 
resist interaction with trolls. As far as the troll is concerned, this 
resistance comes about through the neusgroupino's outer shell, or 
CLIQUE (I will explain the etymology of this term later). CLIQUEs are 
generally impervious to trolls, unless the troll has a particular 
"spin" that conforms to the already-existing structure of the 
neusgroupino. Most trolls possess either "top" or "bottom" spin as well 
as other "strange" or "charmed" characteristics. For instance, a given 
neusgroupino may interact with "charmed, bottom" trolls, but not 
"strange, top" ones. 

If a CLIQUE resists interaction with the troll, this can again cause 
unpredictable activity. The troll may fire off quark/posts in an 
attempt to break down the integrity of the neusgropino. These bursts of 
activity do not last long. Eventually, the troll decays, although many 
are more persistent than others. 

However, I have not yet touched upon the most interesting part of this 
theory at all, the element that reveals the central mystery of Tantrum 
Mechanics. It is this: _the CLIQUE only exists from the "perspective" 
of the troll_. From within the neusgroupino, particles are free to come 
and go. Indeed, the "outer shell", the perceived CLIQUE, is not a 
unified, integral and impervious entity at all. Many particles are 
quite free to interact with the neusgroupino, regardless of spin, as 
long as they do not take on the specific characteristics of the troll. 
It is impossible to state with certainty whether or not a given 
particle internal to the neusgroupino is in this outer shell at any 
given time or not. This is known as _Wilkinson's Uncertainty 

Hence the derivation of the term CLIQUE: an acronym for CLearly 
Imaginary QUantum Entity. 

Thank you. Any questions?

/Yes, what's the capital of Chad?/
Ndjamena. Next?

/Couldn't you find a more intelligent group to which to post this?/
No, this is the best one I know.

/Don't you think this post displays a quite sickening mixture of 
immaturity and erudition, not to mention breathtaking self-indulgence?/
Well, that's entirely subjective, isn't it? Make your own minds up, 
after all, it's a free country.

"If you think that small things can't make a difference, try sleeping with a

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