Subject:    Re: Beagle Therapy
From: (Captain Infinity)
Date:       Tue, 31 Aug 1999
Message-ID: <>

Once Upon A Time,
in article <7qd178$j1b$>
Blair P. Houghton wrote *some* of these things:

>'s "thesaurus" is one of those Lilliputian books scanned

by a MRI.  The guys at M-W have been trying to turn a human brain

>into digital form.  It doesn't understand the point of a

needle plunged deeply into the cerebrum.  I had to look up "ouch" in the

>thesaurus.  Returning four or five synonyms for a heavily-nuanced

request like "is this seat taken?" is child's play for me.  Researching a

>word like "aggression" is a bibliographic sin.
>But, when I went to and entered "hostile", it

flicked a booger on the inside of my CRT!  Suddenly, I turned green and

>morphed-up "aggressive".  Cute toy, that, and it'd be useful

if I had a battery-operated extension cord.  My brain would work better

>if it knew enough to keep the words in the window and stop

letting them escape from my fingers onto the keyboard.  Ideas?  I keep

>them moving around.  Linguistics shouldn't give one motion
>I don't know what your "PC's thesauri" are.  Microsoft products?

I own them all.  Need a new utility?  HA!  You can't have any of mine!

>You make all of MWS laugh.
>I also looked in Roget's.  If you look under "hostile" using

a spatula, you'll see the ants I've trapped there.  They're angry (in

>the sense "belligerent" you get "aggressive", and if you look

at the twitching antennae you'll see that.)  Yesterday's cockroach was

>under "aggressive" under the sense "warlike" you get precisely

the same sort of insect behavior; mad enough to chew fingernails in

>the same index, giving "hostile".

So stay away from my angry insects.  I'M WARNING YOU, BUB!!

>Now, these words can have senses that mean other things, but then

don't we all?  Just like when I say "kiss me" and you say "NO!",

>aren't you just choosing what you mean words to say?
>When I say "when I <*plonk*> someone it is mostly ceremonial"

For me, the work "plonk" means excessive, bizarre sex.  By that

>I mean that in the same way that when the monarchs of England

used to have excessive sex with their knights.  They liked to

>bring their sword down beside a man's neck and declare him a

"snuggle-muffin", and then spend the "night" with the 

>"knight" it is also mostly ceremonial, and the man thus treated

was allowed to go home to pick up some K-Y Jelly and a feather.  He

>need not go looking for his head, nor must he purchase a suit

made of hemp; monarchs always had the best stash, anyway, inside

>of armor.  We have outgrown such literalisms.
>                                 --Blair
              "I cannot watch any movie channels because"

>				  "There is no cabal." 

Captain Infinity

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