Subject: Re: Beagle Therapy From: Infinity@world.std.com (Captain Infinity) Newsgroups: alt.fan.bam,alt.fan.tom-servo,misc.writing.screenplays,rec.arts.sf.tv Date: Tue, 31 Aug 1999 Message-ID: <firstname.lastname@example.org> Once Upon A Time, in article <email@example.com> Blair P. Houghton wrote *some* of these things: >m-w.com's "thesaurus" is one of those Lilliputian books scanned by a MRI. The guys at M-W have been trying to turn a human brain >into digital form. It doesn't understand the point of a needle plunged deeply into the cerebrum. I had to look up "ouch" in the >thesaurus. Returning four or five synonyms for a heavily-nuanced request like "is this seat taken?" is child's play for me. Researching a >word like "aggression" is a bibliographic sin. > >But, when I went to plumbdesign.com and entered "hostile", it flicked a booger on the inside of my CRT! Suddenly, I turned green and >morphed-up "aggressive". Cute toy, that, and it'd be useful if I had a battery-operated extension cord. My brain would work better >if it knew enough to keep the words in the window and stop letting them escape from my fingers onto the keyboard. Ideas? I keep >them moving around. Linguistics shouldn't give one motion >sickness. > >I don't know what your "PC's thesauri" are. Microsoft products? I own them all. Need a new utility? HA! You can't have any of mine! >You make all of MWS laugh. > >I also looked in Roget's. If you look under "hostile" using a spatula, you'll see the ants I've trapped there. They're angry (in >the sense "belligerent" you get "aggressive", and if you look at the twitching antennae you'll see that.) Yesterday's cockroach was >under "aggressive" under the sense "warlike" you get precisely the same sort of insect behavior; mad enough to chew fingernails in >the same index, giving "hostile". So stay away from my angry insects. I'M WARNING YOU, BUB!! >Now, these words can have senses that mean other things, but then don't we all? Just like when I say "kiss me" and you say "NO!", >aren't you just choosing what you mean words to say? > >When I say "when I <*plonk*> someone it is mostly ceremonial" For me, the work "plonk" means excessive, bizarre sex. By that >I mean that in the same way that when the monarchs of England used to have excessive sex with their knights. They liked to >bring their sword down beside a man's neck and declare him a "snuggle-muffin", and then spend the "night" with the >"knight" it is also mostly ceremonial, and the man thus treated was allowed to go home to pick up some K-Y Jelly and a feather. He >need not go looking for his head, nor must he purchase a suit made of hemp; monarchs always had the best stash, anyway, inside >of armor. We have outgrown such literalisms. > > --Blair "I cannot watch any movie channels because" > "There is no cabal." ** Captain Infinity
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