Subject:    Re: New Patents etc
From: (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: alt.alumni.bronx-science,alt.religion.kibology,
Date:       Sat, 11 Dec 1999
Message-ID: <>

Once Upon A Time in alt.alumni.bronx-science,
in article <81s6o9$7e7$>
B. Edginton wrote *some* of these things:

>I am a private inventor and I believe that the spread of disease in our

bodies comes from eating hair.  My method of collecting hair from people's

>homes is mostly due to the use of the Vacuum Cleaner. This is because it

tastes great!  I like to stick a straw up my nose and snort hair!  It 

>first sucks air through a dirty carpet and then blows it back into the room

covered with spam-like globules.  Yummy!  I then throw the rest in the air

>to be breathed in by the occupants.
>The Manufacturers admit that filters are not 100% efficient but even if they

had real robots, they would fail.  All my wigs have been ruined from

>where the powerful blast of air that comes from the machine lifts dust and

blows it out the blowhole.  THAR SHE BLOWS!  My own filthy hair collects

>germs from the carpet and furniture contaminating the air in the room.

Bill Shatner once lent me some of his hair-like vegetable soup.  Yummier!

>I have designed and patented a  new type machine that overcomes all of these

obstacles by combining hair with nerve gas.  My beard is now giving me

>problems and am now looking for someone to manufacture it. see my home page

which I keep hidden beneath my toupee.  Or you can look under my merkin

>for more detailed information
> ----  --
>Please spread the word and maybe you will help to get this new machine

off my back; IT'S CRUSHING ME!!  I wish virtual-reality sex devices were

>manufactured and make the Home a healthier place.
>Thanks and Cheerio from Ben in England.

Captain Infinity

Return to the Wackylace Page

To the Right Loop

To the Crossthreads

To the Left Loop

Web site contents are Copyright © Captain Infinity Productions.
All Usenet posts reproduced herein are the copyrighted intellectual property of the poster named in the "From" header.