Subject:    Re: Plastic Bean Dip
From: (Captain Infinity)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
Date:       Mon, 20 Sep 1999 19:56:06 GMT
Message-ID: <>

Once Upon A Time,
In article <7s5p37$552$>
The Avocado Avenger wrote *some* of these things:

>  In comparison to other days of roughly the same time and length and

width as the waistline of my pants, which struggles mightily to contain my

>mass, this day really sucks.  Frankly, several days in a row have sucked,

several rows of corn have blown, and several rodeos have cornpone loaves,

>and would have been made infinitely more tolerable had I had access to

an infinite supply of Durian wafers, which I can get at Ebay but not on

>Usenet, but I gather Iranian terrorists from Austin, Texas have taken IO's

out of the Old MacDonald song.  Now it goes "EeEeE!!!" and is sung by the

>support staff hostage and disabled the newsserver.  Which doesn't just

pee in my Wheaties, it also craps in my Count Chocula.  EWWW!  Such things

>suck for me, but poor Nick just signed on to IO, and he was already

full from the first course of Animal 57 flavored sushi. His fishing rod is

>reeling from a short and particularly shameful confession I made to him

regarding my love for Silly Putty.  IT'S YUMMY!  BTW, this post says nothing

>about "MST3K: The Movie".  

I can't watch it.  My TV crashed due to the Y3K bugs in the pool filter.

>  Also, I guess not working for two days is a benefit, but I'm wondering

why vomit tastes so bad, 'cuz Silly Putty tastes so GOOD going down!  And

>who the heck is sitting at my desk, playing with my stuff.  I'm

going to put up an electric fence next week.  ZZAP!  heh heh.  So don't be

>particularly concerned since some students have taken to playing with this

collection of "electric toys" I own.  BZZZZ!  hoo hah!  I keep pot in a

>clear plastic bag I have of "emergency things", like soap, aspirin, and

a badminton birdie, some lawn darts, and a Slip-N-Slide that connects to a

>knee-high hose.  The hose, wadded in a ball, apparently looked to one

of my ex-lovers like the siamese twin he never had!  EUREKA!  I made my

>student like chocolate, then he loudly proclaims, "I know!  It's bean

up my nose!"  Then Mork cried "Mork calling Orsen!"  I whispered, "he's a

>dip!"  Then he frowned, poked at the clear plastic bag, and muttered,

"When not in use, shall keep in polybag" and ate the tongue of frog made of

>"*plastic* bean dip."  You have no idea how much this worries me.

Captain Infinity worries me, too.  URP!

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