Subject: Captain Infinity Goes to Hell (was Re: Tropea has been reported to firstname.lastname@example.org) From: Blackhawk <email@example.com> Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo Message-ID: <firstname.lastname@example.org> Organization: Search for Internet Text-based Intelligence Blackhawk Presents... Captain Infinity Goes to Hell (or how I learned to stop pushing the river and love the bomb) A One Act Play [The entire play takes place on one set which is done up as Hell with all sorts of "flame" effects. In the background are various "damned" souls pushing boulders uphill - which roll over them, people having their guts pecked out, etc. Center stage is a large red throne on which SATAN is seated. A SPOT slowly comes up on stage revealing the set & SATAN. A flash of light and puff of smoke go off in front of him and INFINITY steps out of the smoke. He is wearing the purple and green costume (without the pants naturally). He is carrying a box of marshmallow peeps in one hand and a tall Anti-Voyager Zombie made with Capt. Morgan's in the other. He looks at SATAN and speaks:] INFINITY: Hey! How did I get here? SATAN: Well, In article <email@example.com>, "Cronan" wrote: > You go to hell, Infinity. You got to hell and you die. > > Cronan > ...seriously and here you are! INFINITY: That's Bullshit, you've never listened to him before SATAN: OK OK, April fool! But I needed to speak with you, I've had an idea! INFINITY: Oh yeah, well treat it kindly, it's in a strange place (one of Blackhawk's stories, feh). SATAN: I want you to come work for me! INFINITY: Me, work for you? SATAN: Why not, some people already think you're evil, why not make them right? You make people think and laugh while leaving chaos in your wake. I need a guy like that. Besides, there's lots of fringe benefits to working here. INFINITY: Like what? SATAN: Well, for one thing, the talent pool. For example, you could argue philosophy with jdn and have Sarte join in the thread to help trounce him. INFINITY: Jean Paul Sartre is down here? SATAN: All the existentialists are down here. INFINITY: Oh yes, of course... SATAN: How about this, you like to stop boring threads right? INFINITY: Yeah, so? SATAN: Well how about this, we have *Adolph Hitler* down here! Now this is a guy who can shut down a thread let me tell you! INFINITY: Heh, thats pretty good. SATAN: I'm telling you, I can make it sweet for you here Cap. Girls, classic comics, movies, marshmallow peeps, you name it Captain. I can grant your fondest desires if you'll simply help spread chaos and liven things up down here. INFINITY: Well, I admit that the offer is tempting, but I'm going to have to pass. SATAN: Why? INFINITY: Well, it's not that the offer isn't generous, but even with all that you offer, there is one thing that is vitally important to me that you simply can't supply me with here. SATAN: What's that? INFINITY: Ice *hic*. THE END *** Blackhawk Next time: Cronan goes to Hell, The Quickening "I'm burnin', I'm burnin', I'm burnin' for you" - BÖC
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