Subject:    Meanwhile, back on Bizarro World...(Satire)
From:       openbook@sirius.com (Blackhawk)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5
Message-ID: <openbook-2809981314210001@ppp-asfm01--019.sirius.net>

For those not familiar with the old "Bizarro" concept (imperfect
duplicates of Superman) and their world from D.C. comics, I can explain it
quite simply by quoting the old "Bizarro Code":

         "Us do opposite of Earthly things!
          Us hate beauty, us love ugliness!
          Is big crime to make anything 
          perfect on Bizarro World."

We now present:
  
                       "LAST NIGHT" WITH BIZARRO NO.1
                         SPECIAL GUEST - BIZARRO JMS


BIZARRO NUMBER ONE: OK, sorry you still am there. We am back for a few
minutes before the commercials start again. We am talking to Bizarro J.
Michael Straczynski about his show Babylon 1.

BIZARRO JMS: Goodbye!

BN1: Why am your show called Babylon 1?

BJMS: Cause first four am destroyed. Me am only one that knew that, so we
called last Station Babylon 1 so no one would know HAR HAR! I explain all
in episode "Babylon Circled" when we find out Babylon 2 was taken to spoil
war in future with "The Whities".

BN1: How much of show you write?

BJMS: Me write hardly any, Yipee! Only one episode where nobody else want
job. Was real stinker, turned out to be best show in series, everybody
hate it, too many cool special effects cause guy who does cheesy stuff on
vacation.

BN1: Me think real low point in series am "Gray 21 1/2 am Found", am my
personal favorite.

BJMS: Me too. Really cheesy monster am great!

BN1: Where you get idea for show?

BJMS: Me stole it from "Bored of the Rings"! Me did bad job, yes!?

BN1: Me think it am really obvious, true brilliance!  So tell me, what am
story behind upcoming TV movie called "Liver of Souls"?

BJMS: This am story that take place after show is cancelled, but it not
matter when you see it cause all the stories am unrelated so really dumb
people can hate it too! That's why Season 5 is best yet, 100% filler!

BN1: Me hear rumor it feature more "Ancient Old Farts" like ones we saw in
"Turdspace"?

BJMS: Me not know how such rumors get started, but it am bad idea so me
steal it OK?

BN1: So what am your opinion of "Spoiler Junkie" web page?

BJMS: Me think if people really want to know what am in upcoming show so
they not have to watch and give us bad ratings (and make us best show),
people should go there.

BN1: Boy, you am sooo bad, must have lots of people who really hate you!

BJMS: Yeah, that's why me post articles to un-moderated forum where only
people who say good things about me post! Make other fans so angry, they
make moderated group to yell at me on. Me piss them off by not posting
there and making jokes about them on show.

BN1: You am really mean! Me hate you too!

BJMS: Me even make sure me don't have an opening credit so no one know who
to blame!

BN1: Sneaky! How bout rumors your network NTN has decided not to interfere
with the making of your new show "Babylon Project: The Fiscal Repackaging
Crusade". Me hear them am leaving show alone.

BJMS: Me cannot comment on that right now, me still too upset them don't
care about me anymore.*sniff* But NTN am great, cancel show for us and
move time slot all over so no one know when we am on!

BN1: But them say this real NTN memo?

BJMS: It really shopping list for show, me wanted more money for costumes
and sexy bimbette! Drive ratings down good!

BN1: So you upgrading show?

BJMS: Heck no! Me am taking money, costumes and Bimbette to Acapulco!

BN1: Well that am all we have time for, Be sure not to watch his crummy show!

BJMS: Hello!


**
Blackhawk
Next: Bizarro Theron Fuller!

  

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